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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that what I feed my child is my business..

58 replies

mummalish · 26/07/2010 10:52

MIL has been preaching to me about child nutrition, this is the woman who's own children were obese from a young age.

I choose to be careful what I feed my ds, therefore I do not give him sugary cereal, sweets,crisps, or juice. He has freshly cooked food, and I enjoy cooking and preparing it.

So why should I defend myself? She claims that it is unrealistic for him to eat this way.

Yet, I do allow treats: pizza and chips yesterday on a day out, juice when we have it at home, biscuits (every day), home made cake when we have it.

I get compared to SIL all the time, she allows coco pops, fruit shoots etc. I don't, these things are fine, but not for us.

Just so tired of having to explain myself.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 26/07/2010 10:53

Ignore ignore ignore

Plumm · 26/07/2010 10:54

Ignore, ignore, ignore!

Doodleydoo · 26/07/2010 10:55

And Ignore again!

Altinkum · 26/07/2010 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mummalish · 26/07/2010 10:56

This is the same woman who tried to give my child sprite in a bottle at 6 months old! Caught her dipping her finger in wine and putting it in his mouth too. Weirdo.

OP posts:
ladysybil · 26/07/2010 10:57

then dont. what you feed them at home, is what you decide to. just let your mil prattle on. in one ear and out the other

HecateQueenOfWitches · 26/07/2010 10:59

Clearly she feels that your choices are a criticism of hers. Some people are like that!

If you want, you could always say "I don't want my son to become obese. I want him to be healthy. It is not unreasonable to feed my son healthy food. Do you want my son fat and unhealthy or do you want him healthy?"

But I suppose most people whould consider that confrontational. Sometimes confrontational is what you need. You can only pussyfoot for so long.

Colliecross · 26/07/2010 11:07

Why is freshly cooked food unrealistic?

I never bought sweets and my daughter didn't know what they were until she went to school, but I used to send apple juice to her playgroup instead of the fake orange squash with colourings in, and overheard the play leader say 'Poor little girl' regarding her different drink.
Play leader probably the same generation as your MIL.

Original poster
mummalish · 26/07/2010 11:13

We all learn as we go along I suppose, my sister used to put nesquick in her baby's bottle and let her fall asleep with cola, now she looks back (this was a loooong time ago), and shudders and wonders how she could have been so stupid.

We know so much nowadays about healthy eating, yet some of the older generation don't catch on. Sad.

OP posts:
MrsChemist · 26/07/2010 11:16

YANBU. A few weeks ago, MIL was telling me how much DS (10mo) was enjoying his apple and blackcurrant squash in a very pointed, "why don't you let him have squash" manner. I told her he only has water or milk at home. I don't mind the odd occasion, but I'm not giving him it all the time just because he likes it.

It's a bit of a minefield, because she sees it as an insult (she looks after other GDC a lot, and she give him all this crap, all the time)

5DollarShake · 26/07/2010 11:16

It's unrealistic in the sense that he probably won't eat only healthy food for the rest of his entire life, but what on earth is wrong with having a little bit of control over their nutrition in the very young, formative years, while you can??

My au pair thinks I have very odd ideas about food, since I give DS things like rice cakes and fruit to snack on and not chocolate, cake and ice cream. I also cook all his meals for him, and he doesn't eat any junk.

He is 18 months old - why would I give him empty calories when he a). doesn't need them, and b). doesn't even know what they are (so by letting him know what they are, he will then ask for them, and possibly refuse more nutritious food in their favour)?

I honestly do not understand why anyone would have a problem with this - I'm hardly harming him by giving him healthy, nutritious food, and I'm not forcing my agenda on anyone else. Other people can do whatever they see fit.

I truly do think people who have a problem with this sort of thing just see it as a judgement on them and their choices. There is no other rationale explanation!

gorionine · 26/07/2010 11:17

"She claims that it is unrealistic for him to eat this way." could you clarify what she means by that? I t would be unrealistic to home cook every meal if you hated it or were a very bad cook but it does not seem to be the problem so what does she worry about? your Dc being bullied because he has a healthy diet?

shockers · 26/07/2010 11:19

I think 'children's food' is vile and refuse to treat my children as second class citizens by feeding them stuff that I wouldn't touch.

However, I keep a bit quiet about this in public because I've found myself judged rather harshly in the past for wanting my children to eat lovely food instead of processed crap.

5DollarShake · 26/07/2010 11:22

shockers - agree with you on both points.

Colliecross · 26/07/2010 11:31

Couldn't agree more shockers
I was often asked how I got mine to eat salads or vegetables- well, I put it on the table and it is eaten. Why wouldn't they eat these foods, they are delicious.

gorionine · 26/07/2010 11:35

I agree with shockers and Colliecross.

Tamashii · 26/07/2010 11:42

HecateQueenOfWitches Clearly she feels that your choices are a criticism of hers. grin Some people are like that!

That is brilliant. I have an acquaintance (wife of DH's friend) who is VERY like this. I never thought of it in that way before.

Anyway, YANBU - WINE FFS? She really put wine in ur LO's mouth???? How awful is that? Poison much?

Woman on the checkout in Asda last week had a right b!tch at us for buying Ella's Kitchen stuff asking why we couldn't just "boil up some fruit yourselves??!!" DH started attempting to defend our decision and I bit my tongue as she is always on the checkout we end up at for some reason. Thing is our LO loves the pouches and refuses to eat any fruit or veg at the mo so we are just going with the pouches for now. Not that we should have to explain that to some ignorant, rude stranger! Rant over

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 26/07/2010 11:42

What is shocking about pizza and chips as a treat?

OP - just nod and smile and then ignore it.

SIL is lovely but feeds her DDs all sorts of rubbish. They have free access to crisps, all kinds of other snacks, full sugar fizzy drinks etc etc. Her eldest is 13 and already very aware of her weight, and she eats the tiniest portions of good healthy meals and then is constantly stuffing empty calories. Daft, and setting herself up for a lifetime of weight problems. SIL herself is very overweight though and has huge issues around food so maybe it is not surprising.

DH and I on the other hand cook everything from scratch for DS (apart from things like quiche etc) and he has fruit for his snacks 95% of the time. He gets to eat chips, pizza, icecream, homemade cake, biscuits and juice, but occasionally, not all the time.
SIL and MIL think we are 'mean', but thinking more about what we are feeding DS has made us think more about what we feed ourselves. We have both lost significant amounts of weight recently, largely because we don't want DS to grow up thinking that fat is normal like we both did.

lolapoppins · 26/07/2010 11:50

Could be worse, you child could be a vegatatian.

The shit I have to put up with defending that choice.

(Actaully, I tell a lie, ds is 7 now, so whenever I get laid into about not 'letting' him eat meat he wades in himself with some pretty good points that can't be argued with )

gorionine · 26/07/2010 11:57

I just googled "vegatatian" thinking it was maybe a new craze I had not yet heard of![silly me]!

ILovePlayingDarts · 26/07/2010 12:17

Having lovely home-cooked food is brilliant. We're having a shepherd's pie cooked from scratch today, and it doesn't really take much effort to make. The whole family loves it.

I'm overweight, and by cooking for the family, I am re-educating myself too (all due to food issues in childhood; mum hates veg in particular). I've found some really nice new foods in the last 2-3 years, and the dcs are really getting to experience a wide variety of food!

To the OP I would say carry on with the healthy food! I just wish my mum had been as informed about food when I was little.

Altinkum · 26/07/2010 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PerArduaAdNauseum · 26/07/2010 12:23

I'm feeling very comfortable on this thread, able to stand up and say 'yes, I cooked everything myself for DS and he didn't even get to try chocolate till he was 2yo'. For some reason, this gets me treated as a loon other places - but all I did was introduce him to a wide range of veg, fruit, some meat and fish, and not introduce him to shit before he was old enough to discover it himself.

Does anyone else want to scream at people sometimes that 'juice-drink is NOT juice read the sodding label'? Or just me

usualsuspect · 26/07/2010 12:24

I don't think that pizza and chips is unhealthy ..

lolapoppins · 26/07/2010 12:25

gorionine - blame my I phone! I still can't get to grips with typing on the flaming thing, never mind going back to correct mistakes!

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