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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you work from Home.. do you have children around to play with your DC?

20 replies

Mittz · 26/07/2010 10:29

I run an ironing service and am quite busy at the moment. I time my work, but it takes ages when they are home with constant demands.

DD is 7 and wants company but I don't feel comfortable working with someone elses DC around. Our garden is separate from the house so they can't play in the garden without supervision.

OP posts:

5DollarShake · 26/07/2010 10:33

I work from home full time, and have full time child care. There's no way I could do both, so hats off to you if you manage not only your own, but also another one!!

ExitPursuedByABear · 26/07/2010 10:36

I work part time from home and try not to have friends round when I am working. If I am in the middle of conference call my DD understands to keep out of the way but if she had a friend here it would not be so easy. DD is 10 so is quite happy to entertain herself whilst I work. DH also works from home with an admin person so there are plenty of people around to interact with her.

lolapoppins · 26/07/2010 10:37

I don't work from home, but dh does most of the time and he finds it so distracting when ds has friends over. He has to be on a lot of conference calls, and even though he has a study, noise of children palying carries!

He has to try and get on with it as best he can though as ds is home educated so when he has friends over its usually in the daytime. We try to stay out as much as possible or go to other peoples houses when hes really snowed under though.

SwansEatQuince · 26/07/2010 10:39

We never have other children round to play with our children, probably due to our being quite remote plus it would be potentially dangerous for them.

Are you able to take your work out into the garden, Mittz? Are there any school friends willing to come round for a couple of hours?

Callisto · 26/07/2010 10:41

I can't work if DD has friends round, mainly because she is only 5 and friends usually bring their mothers who I want to gossip and drink coffee with.

Having said that my work is all computer based and I can work in the garden and keep half an eye out on them if they didn't bring a parent. I can see that you would be uncomfortable ironing around other people's children.

Original poster

Mittz · 26/07/2010 10:52

I try to barter that if Mum can work in the mornings we can have friends around in the afternoon, but the message doesn't connect and it is a string of requests and demands that get me frustrated with not being able to get on, and then the day descends to chaos. I can't afford to take much time off, have no H at home, parents can't help.

I feel for her because it is only the usual stuff, finding selotape, look at x or y, she is not difficult or demanding but gets a little after a while. (understandably)

I try to pre empt needs but she gets lonely.

OP posts:

mumblechum · 26/07/2010 10:56

I used to work for a legal phone helpline from home and I did have other kids round but they were trained not to disturb me if I was on the phone (I'd sometimes have half an hour with no calls then have to drop everything to answer the line).

It is possible, and certainly I don't think the fact that you're ironing should stop your dc having friends round. You could just as easily be doing your own ironing at that time, and presumably they're only at yours for 2-3 hours?

RiverOfSleep · 26/07/2010 14:37

Can your dd tell the time? (mine are younger so not sure what a 7yo can do? Would she be happier knowing mum is busy for 30 minutes then at half past, she will do x y z?

I tried to do a load of ironing with 3 under 6s the other day - manageable as it was just my stuff, but not if i'd been on the clock for a customer.

ChippingIn · 26/07/2010 14:46

I think I would invite a friend over to play, at that age they don't need you playing with them. Tell her that it's a trial and if they can amuse themselves without interrupting you, she can do it more often. However, if it is more work for you then it wont happen again. Put out a supply of drinks & snacks that they have access to and let them know what they can and can't do (ie watch tv, dvd, get all the lego out - but not the paints etc).

You might just have to adjust your times a bit - but it shouldn't be too bad. At least you don't have to take work calls and without being rude, it's not like they disturbing your train of thought!

What I do sometimes (more in the winter admittedly) is put on a DVD that the girls like and 'watch' it with them while working or ironing - they get the company and I get a bit of 'space' to work.

People like you are angels - I miss my 'ironing angel'

Original poster

Mittz · 26/07/2010 15:57

Some good ideas,

It can depend which friend it is. She has one friend that seems to create mischief every time she is here, so perhaps not her, although I hate to be selective.

I really do miss them being able to play in the garden on their own.

Shall have to try not to be so precious about it all.
I know it doesn't take 'train of thought' as such but doing any job well takes some level of concentration and stop/starting is a little annoying.
My brain is frazzled enough as it is. I have just payed my money into the machine in the bank and forgotten to put my account details on. I need a PA at the mo!

OP posts:

Lynli · 26/07/2010 16:47

I work from home from 7pm to 2am and then get up 10.00 when Ds wakes up. It is the only way I can get anything done.

Original poster

Mittz · 26/07/2010 16:58

I thought about working through the night over the holidays Lynli.. I quite like that idea as I like the peace of the night time anyway.

OP posts:

BouncingTurtle · 26/07/2010 16:59

I have a 2.6 year old and I find it impossible. I'm a PF for Arise UK (they provide a virtual call centre for a well known catalogue company). If it just checking & replying to an email or loading up the systems then it's fine, but trying to coach one of my assigned agents on the phone is impossible because DS contantly interrupts. Because of this, I have him in childcare 2 days week so I only allow agents to book appointments when he is at nursery, or in the evenings after he has gone to bed or weekends when his dad can look after him.
I've just purchased a wireless headset so that when in telemeetings with the rest of my fellow PFs I can at least wander around after DS as these meetings are often scheduled when I don't have childcare. Fortunately our Group Lead is fairly relaxed about things as long as we are actively contributing!

I don't think you are being at all precious about not wanting distractions while you are working. It's called having a professional attitude. It is tough working from home I get the impression that some people don't see it as 'real work'. I'm constantly being asked if what I do is a scam

Obviously my ds is quite a bit younger than your dd, but why not try the playdate? Restrict to an hour or so at first and see how you get on?

BTW it has taken me 15mins to type this with DS interrupting (I have been playing with him all day and just wanted 5 mins to check for any urgent emails and there weren't any so popped onto MN!).

Original poster

Mittz · 26/07/2010 17:43

Weirdly with my DD it was quite easy at that age as she was very self contained, but she is very much envious of what her bro can do now and like to play keepy uppy!

Today was OK though. (fingers crossed)

OP posts:

staranise · 26/07/2010 17:51

I work from home part-time and actually it's easier when my DDs have friends round - they're 6 and 4 so their friends keep them entertained and out from under my feet. My work is all computer-based, no phone calls, so I work in my bedroom and the DDs play in their bedroom next door (our house is v small), I can hear everything that goes on but TBH, the friends we have over, I know them very well and their parents,a nd can more or less trust them to play nicely.

DC3 is only 20 months so I tend to save my work for when he naps as he demands a lot of attention and is not safe obviously. I do also work in teh evenings but hate having to sit down to work when I've jst had a full-on day with the children. I'm using a CM for two days a week from September - it will take all my money but will make working a lot less stressful. I never iron when the kids are around so hats off to you!

ChippingIn · 26/07/2010 18:18

Mittz - are you sure they can't play in your (not directly accessed) garden unsupervised? Is there anyway you are maybe being just a little over cautious? Put me right if you have to cross the M25 to get to it or there's a pub attached to it

Original poster

Mittz · 26/07/2010 19:04

Oh, probably massively over cautious chipping.. they are lucky they are off reigns and they are 7 and 12!

OP posts:

mumblechum · 27/07/2010 07:35

7 and 12 I thought you were talking about toddlers!

Original poster

Mittz · 27/07/2010 08:03

They were actually easier as toddlers, now it is a constant stream of demands and if they are in the garden and I am working, I just don't feel comfortable. As I say, the garden is away from the house (separated by two buildings and a drive) and has a small plot of waste land next to it.

The 12 year old isn't a problem, he just gets on with stuff, but DD and her friends are more of a worry, the drive ends on a very busy road and despite telling and telling them I look out to see them playing on the pavement. The owners of the drive don't really like the gates to be shut.

OP posts:

flyingdolphin · 27/07/2010 08:27

I work from home in the holidays 3 days a week and I try to invite other children around as I find it easier. Mine are 5 and 7. But I am careful who I invite, my dd has one friend who she adores but they only ever get up to nonsense, so that is a no-no. The good thing is that in exchange the kids get invited to their friends' houses.
But the best is to get them on a playscheme for the mornings and then put on a DVD in the afternoons if needed and that more or less lets me get most of my work done and still gives me loads of the afternoon to spend with them.
I have also done the night shift, not much fun in the long run.

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