to think that taking meow meow is totally inappropriate behaviour

[elportodelgato]

...for my DH to indulge in?

Background: we went to a festival a few weeks back. I am pg so in the evenings I was generally back at the tent looking after DD (who is 2yo) and getting an early night. Already I found this fairly frustrating but fair enough, I am pg, someone has to babysit, I am knackered anyway. DH was out every night til about 3am with his other mates who don't have kids. I assumed he was just (as he said) 'enjoying the festival' getting drunk etc, seeing bands which is completely fair enough, I don't begrudge him letting his hair down, I am just a bit jealous I don't get to do it as well at the moment.

Yesterday we were chatting and it turns out that he smoked a bit of weed at the festival which is no big deal IMO, we both have indulged occasionally and I'm not puritanical about it. Then he said 'oh yeah, and we did a bit of meow meow too'. I'm ashamed to say that I burst into tears and felt really sick all day. I still feel really sick and angry. He thinks I should chill out and it's not a big deal. I think that as a 34yo father this is not appropriate behaviour in any circumstances - I think it's reckless, dangerous, stupid - not to mention just horribly sad, I mean isn't meow meow something which bored teenagers do at the weekends?

I am extremely hormonal so please feel free to tell me that AIBU and should chill out about it. At the moment I just feel sick and tearful and really sad . The man I married would not do this, I just don't feel like I know him if he can do something like this.

I have been asking him to talk about it and saying I am not happy and feel like I can't trust him. He refuses to discuss it 'at the moment' which I think means he is formulating an excuse which will make it sound like he is reasonable and I am a crazy hormonal harpy. I asked him why he hadn't told me at the time and he said 'because I knew you'd react like this' Now my brain is in overdrive wondering what else he got up to til 3am at this festival. I feel really shocked - DH is a lovely man, a brilliant father, in most ways incredibly thoughtful and supportive and I love him enormously.

"I am fairly sure people have died from taking Meow Meow -"

No, it was media hype. The people in the first big story who were initially suspected to have died from meow meow later turned out not to have taken it at all. (I'm oretty sure one of the drugs involved turned out to be methedone - similar name but a very different drug - it's dangerous heroin substitute)

YABU about the meow meow. It's a crap drug IMO, but as others have said, it's not that dangerous really. You are getting sucked in by media hype on that one.

However his behaviour regarding leaving you to do the childcare while pregnant at a festival, so that he can act as if he doesn't have responsibilities is terrible! Focusing on the meow is a red herring IMO.

Mephedrone has NOT actually killed anyone, despite what has been initially reported.

However, taking recreational drugs, including cannabis, is stupid and concerning in anyone, never mind someone who is supposed to be a responsible father. I think that this is the real issue, but I think it is difficult to be totally against this if you think that other recreational drugs are fine. What is the difference and why should it shock you?

Mrsgangly, I think the difference for me is that alcohol is something most people use and know their limits with. In the case of DH and I, smoking weed is somewhat similar although I have to say that in the last 3 years we've probably shared a joint with friends on only 2 occasions. I don't enjoy it so much and would prefer to drink alcohol where I know my limit better. I try not to mix the 2 having had some awful whiteys when younger.

With something like meow meow I think people don't know their limits as it is a relatively new drug, and there are all sorts of issues about what it is you're actually taking because it is illegal and unregulated etc.

lowrib you make a good point about the actual drug being a red herring. It's a symptom of something else - and I think the 'something else' is unfortunately his disrespect for me

I think it's very unlikely that he's going to do himself any damage after one evening. But I would be seriously pissed off if I were pregnant and had a 2 YO and went to a festival with my DH and he spent the whole time getting off his tits until 3am leaving you alone in a tent with a toddler. Sounds miserable

Mrsgangly, I think the difference for me is that alcohol is something most people use and know their limits with.

I totally disagree. Most people do not know their limits - and alcohol is a drug the same as any other - drink too much and puke you have overdosed just like any other drug.

If you don't mind him getting shit faced on booze but you do mind him taking other illegal drugs YABU asd both are irresponsible with a young family in tow at the same venue.

If its him getting shit faced full stop while you "carry the can" then YANBU.

chil1234 - taking drugs with kids is irresponsible but not going to festivals, most are incredibly child friendly. And our dcs love going.

Your DH needs to grow up methinks. He sounds like he acted like a fourteen year old. And that's before we come to the meow meow issue.