to think my MIL shoudn't give my boys sweets every day?

[rotool]

Am I? I would like to treat my children with the odd treat but feel as though I can't as I know that MIL will give them something too. Boys are 4 and 6 and often get given a whole mars bar or whole tube of wine gums.
Boys see MIL nearly every day as OH works for his parents on farm/horses etc...
I have tried to talk to her about it but she just makes silly comments like at lunch today saying "oh I daren't put cake on the table had I?" when someone asked for some. I feel they are getting to many sweets as it is without me treating them too.
It makes me so mad.

but not butt

I know farmers where they still bake cakes every day because the men are out working hard and come in for tea and cake to keep them going.

Maybe if she is thinking in this vein she has forgotten quite how big a mars bar is in relation to a little boy and though energetic (I'm sure!) it's not the same as a man needing extra calories for lots of manual work.

They're also not going to see it as a treat if they have one every day, just be something they expect as rights and will then be upset if they don't get them.

Could you provide strategies for your mil to start to reduce them or provide other treats (a comic a week, 10p for money box, even a pack of smarties or wine gums that you have a different colour each day rather than the whole packet, or introduce her to fun size things, one day is treat day etc). Or start to make remarks about how you want them to come to her because they love her and not her treats?

It is nice for a gran to treat grandkids, but she needs to respect your wishes too!

I'm a dentist.

I would send her to the dentist and see his/her reaction to having sweets everyday.

Unfortunately some people see brushing as the magic cure since they didn't do it as kids.

I have no fillings (at 35YO) because my Mum never let me have sweets on the way home from school like the other kids.

I had a 5YO patient the other day with 2 decayed teeth, his Mother was mortified and swore he didn't have any dietary habits which could have caused this. After discussing with the patient he revealed that Daddy gives him hot choc before bed!!...The sugar then sits there all night. At the appointment for the fillings she said it had been cut down to once a week. I had to tell her even that was too much.

Give your children the knowledge to know it's not good for them.

Crikey, check this out, its the tesco lunchbox tool, you can make up your kids lunch online and see what the percent of the gda is, I just tried it with just 1 mars bar in there it has 32.3 grams of sugar in 1 bar, 1 teaspoon of white sugar weighs 4.2 grams that is 7.7 teaspoons of sugar in 1 hit!!!!!

Wonder what your MIL would say to that???!

YANBU - you are their mother and you are responsible for the health and their diet. TELL HER that you are in charge of their diet, and not her. If my MIL was doing this I would tell her that I didn't want her to give them sweets or chocolates. If she wouldn't honour my wishes - I would tell her she can't be unattended with them if she can't be trusted to respect my wishes. It sounds like an over-reaction but its an important point of principal - some grandparents think they have free reign to do whatever they want and its just not true. You are the parent - you are in charge, not her!

KickArseQueen, checked out the tesco thing and it is really helpfull,thanks.
It will be easier having more info and being able to give her the facts. She really is driving me crazy...I have a labrador who is 18 months.I do not use him as a dustbin but after T tonight she gave him all the scraps with chocolate cutard on top... no I am not joking.