to be considering contacting social services?

[CareBearStare]

Or perhaps a HV or GP?

I know a couple, very closely and if you had witnessed these things would you feel you would have to step it (perhaps anon?)

• Children 3 and 1 never go anywhere, never leave the house except very rare occasions.
• neither parent works so they do not get up at all in the day, the childrens sleep paterns alike them to noctornal creatures! - seriously both parents are on FB at 3,4,5am ... then you can't contact them till 6pm +
• they live with one of their parents - they live in a room upstairs. they only come out of that room when the parents aren't there.
• They both smoke weed. And I know the father has driven after doing so.
• The mother once laughed whilst telling me her DP had gotten up with their DS at 8am, put him in his highchair for breakfast but then her DP had fell back to sleep, so the child was in the high chair until the mum woke up and found him at midday.

NONE of this is exagerated or made up.

The mans mother has even talked about shopping them in.

I don't really speak to them anymore but we are still forced to be in contact and I find it very, very hard.

OP, I am having trouble understanding your reticence to call SS. Why post more examples of signs that the children are being neglected? Have they just occurred to you?

I don't know why you haven't called. Please explain.

x-post CareBear.

Its hard as its family.

I'm just trying to justify what I may be doing to them

sorry.

Its the right thing to do though.

Just keep thinking bout it from the kids point of view. It will be better for them.

I was taken into care and it was the best thing that happened. Both me and my brother agree. Who knows what would have happened if we'd stayed with my mum and her boyfriend, who knows.

So carebear by reporting, it doesn't necessarily mean the kids will be taken away. However it does mean that something can be done to make their lives better. That, surely, is a good thing?

the highchair thing made me so .
I hope you report them. If they are family can you or dh not talk to them a bit, as well?

Yes Iggly,

I don't think they should be taken but they need to sort their bloody lives out.

They could live like that forever if they wanted but they shouln't have had children if they never had the intention of changing!

Who knows, reporting them might give them a reality check, it might not. I just feel for the children really

Please go with your gut instinct on this and report them. This needs someone external and impartial to deal with it asap. You are definitely NBU and as someone said previously the fact that it is unanimous on here says a lot. You're doing the right thing to
be concerned.

please do it for the sake of the children and their future

I will ring tomorrow, I promise x

how very sad. God when you think there are little children being neglected like that, it's so awful. What selfish bastards the parents are.

You have a duty to report them, regardless of who they are.

OP, I know you have already said you will report them, but one other way of looking at it is this - IF someone else were to report and they were investigated, you may well be questioned, and asked why you did nothing/thought all this was OK

eg - in the case of my brothers child, someone very close to the mother and known and loved by the child wanted to adopt the child (bear in mind its father, my DB, did not even know it existed till SS got involved)

but the friends were not allowed to have th child on the grounds that they had known all along what was going on and done nothing - is there any chance you can get the grandma on side with you, she MUST want what is best for the kids? and by not doing anything she is actually risking losing contact with them herself

You must contact them, this is very worrying

Thinking about it, may actually work out if you called on a Sunday. The reason being that you would be put through to the on duty Social Worker, and in my experience, they tend to have more time than if you called during office hours. Perhaps because the phone isn't constantly ringing and other demands being made on their time?

It's really obvious when a child is being neglected. They are withdrawn, not interested in their environment etc. A social worker knows the signs and will be able to establish whether these children are in such a state of neglect that the abuse is severe enough to take them away, at least to foster carers on a temporary basis.

It's not fun having to report someone, but think you're justified in your concerns.

Why wait until tomorrow? There should be someone on the SS desk in the evenings too. Get it over and done with.

I agree do it right now something may get in the way of it tomorrow. hope they get help x

Please contact them asap, there will always be someone on the end of the phone, these children sound like they have suffered enough why wait another hour let alone day. This makes me so sad and so mad at the same time.

If you call this evening or tomorrow, duty will prob ask the Polic to g around and do a welfare check.

There's little question of what is the right thing to do here, but I wanted to talk a bit about your own feelings of hesitation and guilt.

SS will do their utmost to keep the family unit together and, in my limited experience, they are likely to receive support and advice. Without your action, that support and advice cannot begin.

But you really must act for the sake of the vulnerable parties in this situation i.e. those children. They cannot speak for themselves.

Carebear if you care about those children then do call SS now; you cannot turn a blind eye to this, you could well be their only chance of a better future. Who knows, maybe their parents need some help, maybe they need a wake-up call to make them better parents, maybe they need to be pointed in the right direction?

YANBU
sounds like neglect big time. they need a kick up the arse

I don't know why you are even asking on here.

Report them and do it now.

I was one of those very quiet toddlers who would sit in the corner of a room for an hour at the age of 2 and not move or speak, in front of a social worker. Did they take me away? No, they left me with my mum. Luckily she fucked off one day and left me with my nan and I haven't heard from her since (24 years ago).

Report it now. This is not right!!!!!

Only skimread this cos I have found it upsetting (no personal circumstances, just didnt like the thread for obvious reasons)

Please say you have done something and keep us updated that these children are getting the care they need. Sounds like neglect, possibly unintentionally? Parents possibly need some help.

Hope things get better for these children.

Please let us know that you reported them. X