to want my son back?

[Wheels64]

My 12 yr old has turned into a grumpy, stroppy individual who doesn't want anything to do with the rest of the family. He refuses to eat with us but we insist and won't look at us when he speaks to us. When out and about he does this hilarious routine of pretending he's not with us. He's only nice to me when he wants me to buy something for him. He doesn't want to do anything apart from play on the PS3, Facebook or sleep.....

is this him?

Aren't they just adorable?!! I'd take lots of video footage of this marvellous 'Kevin stage' and then replay it at his 21st...

I love preteens!

Give it four or five years, you'll get him back.

I hear ya!

He will come back: think of it like a caterpillar going into a cocoon - he will spend a great deal of time in his room, poking his head out occasionally to look at you with disdain, he will communicate mostly in grunt, - but eventually a butterfly will emerge. (4-5 years approx)

Would you like him back as the cute toddler he once was

I like the caterpillar analogy.

I think you'll find you'll get him back, but better, on the day he graduates uni.

Well yes it is a bit unreasonable because it is the job of an adolescent to be like this . BUT..hang in there because he will get better, honest. Be ultra calm, and never get backed into an argument if possible. You know best how to handle your son but with mine it was a case of not "forcing" ourselves on him and kind of waiting until he deigned to approach us. That didn't mean we let him away with murder and there were lots of angst ridden moments. But it doesn't last forever - just seems like it!! Our son was very mercurial in his moods and we flew by the seat of our pants in many ways but you will one day get your boy back - honest!!

Thanks everyone

My 15 year old didn't do this so I must have got off lightly!

Catinboots: I'd forgotten all about Kevin - hilarious!

@Mowiol:

Well yes it is a bit unreasonable because it is the job of an adolescent to be like this

Only when the world is against them.

Mine aren't but then they are home educated so I don't have to force them out for 9am and we have time to deal with ishoos.

I have 4 teens...

The only one who still thinks I'm the best Mum in the world is autistic and doesn't understand that he is supposed to be sulking for the next 5 years

I seriously disliked my DS1 for several years.. 12-15 were the worst. he was a an unpleasant violent individual, who snarled, stole (from me) grunted... hit things.... BUT in the last 18m he has slowly become human again.. he's 17 now and I see a light at the end of the tunnel He goes to 6th form and has a part time job and he's actually nice!

The girls have been easier to live with (barring their disgusting bedroom) but it is HARD work!

But SO worth it because now they are 18, 17 16 (and 13) they are becoming fabulous young adults..it just takes time , patience and a nightly glass of wine to survive..

I love the caterpillar analogy...so very true

Get yourself a copy of Quentin Blake's Zagazoo and read it to cheer yourself up when he is being most horribly teenage.

It's one of those children's books that are really for the grown-ups, about a couple that have a sweet little baby that turns overnight into a vulture, and a baby elephant, and a warthog, and then a huge tall shaggy creature that only grunts - then one morning they wake up and find he has turned into a lovely polite young man.

I live in hope that Quentin Blake knows what he's talking about - we're definitely getting into the tall shaggy creature stage here....

my dd1 returns almost on a permenent basis now - though still occasional this imposter appears, the imposter really thinks we will be fooled!

dd2 is now wandering and in her place is a grumpy ole woman, I am hoping that she will scare of cold callers and the pesky cats, she is oyung though only nearly 12 - so a few years of disguises to go yet

Occasionaly she does pop back and it is lovely to have a hug.

i tend to walk behind her and ask her not to embarres me with her ole girl routine

Aparently atm it is my eyebrows that are embarrassing...?

just keep remembering you've got all of the 7 dwarves folled into one: grumpy, moody, hungry, stroppy, messy,sulky and verry very ocassionally happy!

I meant rolled

He will be back ..my 17 year old ds is nearly lovely again now