for not wanting her back in my life

[secretgardin]

(changed my name for this one)i have just had a friendship request on facebook from someone who has blanked me for the past 7 years. we used to be good friends, had our babies at the same time and got along really well, or so i thought. all i remember is that when we met up on the friday everything was fine, but at a party on the sunday she started behaving odd and left. i rang her up as i was worried and she seemed quite upset and told me she didn't want to talk. i tried again a few times, but she never answered the phone. i used to beat myself up for ages, trying to think if i had unintentionally said something hurtful, but couldn't come up with anything, nor could anyone else. ds and i have been through a lot in the past few years
and we are just getting our lives back to normal, so all i'm thinking is WTF on the one hand i would really like to know what happened, on the other, i think it is totally out of bloody order to pretend like nothing happened and send me a half assed request like this. ds thinks that i should get in contact, but i have still got some pride

I have had a similar experience recently on FB and to be honest I have not even responded to her. You know who your real friends are, save your energy for them.

could she had been going through pnd, and now recovered want her life back

I'd contact her, i'd HAVE to know what happened. I'm nosy

I would ignore it. Even if she had PND it doesn't excuse her blanking you for 7 years!

I'd ignore.

I can't be arsed with this type of crap - the minute she did the unexplained blanking thing I would have left the ball in her court tbh, and there I would be happy for it to stay.

I don't use FB much but my rule is I only accept friend requests from my friends. I'm happy with my very small number of FB friends because they are actual friends.

What do you have to do for her? Dance on tippy-toes around her in ballet style before she decides to tell you what she was huffed about?

Too much effort methinks. Ignore.

MarineIguana - that is exactly how i feel, but it's awful not knowing as well

I've been on the other side. Blanked an old school friend because she brought drugs into my house where my newborn baby was. Back in the day we were both a bit naughty I guess and as she was (and is) childless, she just wasn't in the 'grown up' place I was. At the time I was so busy and she lived 100 miles away so I just didn't call.
Then last year I saw her on FB andfelt all this regret. In the intervening time I'd got married and I'd wanted her to be my BM. So I sent a request. It guess I felt like we'd all grown up and it'd be nice to catch up. I thought we'd exchange a few mails and perhaps have a christmas drink.

She was so, so much more mature and confronted me, asked without being argumentative, what had happened. I explained, she explained, I apologised for not explaining at the time, she accepted that with a newborn (sick) child I had more important things to think about and we pretty much have picked up where we left off. It's so brilliant o hae her in my life again and although we are both now 'grown ups' we went through the transition apart. She is getting wed soon and I shall be her BM.

I say ask your friend what happened. Don't get cross about it because you have both presumably moved on. Maybe she is waiting, as I was, for the opportunity to apologise but doesn't want to presume that she is that important to you?

You can send her a message, can't you? I would ask her to explain what happened - and let he know that you were very upset by it.

I feel, if she's sent you a friend request, she should/is probably ready to offer some kind of explanation.

And even if she does explain, there's no obligation for you to accept her request. You could still ignore it - but having her explain could give you some closure.

And yes, I'm nosy, too!

It could be a tentative way of renewing the friendship so that she could explain and apologise. Maybe give her a chance. It might have taken a lot of courage for her to approach you.