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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell DS he must allow this boy to go with them?

11 replies

Citrus81 · 22/07/2010 22:09

DS is 11 and goes to secondary schook in september. I have been allowing more and more freedom (drip feeding) and a couple of weeks ago he went to cinema unsupervised with a friend. It went well, they managed the busses well etc and he enjoyed it.
So they have arranged to go next wednesday. First it was just the two of them but then two girls from the class ended up being invited. DS is particulary fond of one of the girls (first crush I think) and I think it was kind of like a "foresome date" in a childish kind of way.

Then, the other lad invited ANOTHER girl - so DS invited another boy (another good friend). so now there is 6 of them going.

I've just been on his facebook however and DS has changed his mind and asked this other friend not to go, saying he'll pay for him to go to cinema another time as long as he doesn't go with them on wednesday. The boy said he still wanted to go so DS told him to stop being awkward and said he was no longer invited.

I'm really disapointed in DS. I think this is all down to the fact that he wants less attention being taken from himself with this girl.

AIBU to tell him to stop being nasty and insist he follows through his invite?

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 22/07/2010 22:11

no, yanbu. that is mean. how would he like it?

BeerTricksPotter · 22/07/2010 22:12

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Citrus81 · 22/07/2010 22:13

The entire class has facebook.

They are still friends but when I mentioned it he said he's not comfortable in big groups. I think he's worried he'll get pushed out.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 22/07/2010 22:15

Sounds a bit nasty to me.

SlartyBartFast · 22/07/2010 22:17

with so many intending to go i spect some wont go after all,

BeerTricksPotter · 22/07/2010 22:18

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Citrus81 · 22/07/2010 22:19

He's now saying that the others don't want this boy to go and he's trying to keep the peace by arranging to go with this other boy on a different day. Bit of an awkward situation now.

OP posts:
mumof2children · 22/07/2010 22:19

maybe you could say invite him, then you will pay for him and this girl to go out on a proper date together.

it seems to me he want some time with this girl alone

Citrus81 · 22/07/2010 22:21

I think the crush is quite one sided though, unfortunately

OP posts:
fearnelinen · 22/07/2010 22:25

Just my twopenneth - you seem to be 'drip feeding' freedom in terms of allowing him out and about by himself but want to censor his behaviour? What he's done isn't nice, but it's his life and his friend. If there's fall out from his actions, surely that's one of lifes lessons?
I'd just let him know I think it's mean and I'm disappointed that he'd be that mean.

BeerTricksPotter · 22/07/2010 22:25

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