to inform the school?

[megawoman]

Bit of an awkward one but I am friends with loads of people on facebook. Various sets of parents from the same school have been putting photos of children's leavers assembly on there. Today a parent also placed it on youtube. I understand about people wanting to see their own children etc but one clip is of all 45 children that are leaving the school and is a montage of photos of all children on starting and leaving the school. I am a governor at this school and felt the school needed to be aware of this as the disc containing photos is copyrighted to the school. One parent has now removed me from facebook etc as she told me she was annoyed that somebody had said anything and I explained it was me and why. Was I being unreasonable?

I just don't like the fact that anyone can view pictures of my child. I have some on my facebook page, I don't have too many friends, I know who they all are and I have my privacy settings set high.

DH's cousin has hundreds of friends and no privacy settings and she has put loads of photos of DS on her page and I'm not very happy about it.

Images on the internet can be taken and used in any other context. It does not have to be anything sinister but it means you lose control over your DCs image and it could pop up anywhere. Some people have really strong feelings about their privacy, others dont. There`s not a right or a wrong I guess.

I don't mind photos per se although I prefer to be asked/told first. However I do not want my children 'tagged' or identified using their names and the occasional photo that we post on FB is available only to our 'friends' - we don't appear in searches. Likewise I always make it clear on permission slips for other publicity things that I don't want my children's surnames to appear in print - DH and I are teachers and have an unusual surname so would prefer that our family life wasn't broadcast to all and sundry.

No YANBU, it was absolutely the right thing to do IMO. A girl in my old form had a confidential note on her file saying that no photos should be shared or printed of her because of a difficult father relationship, and none of her friends (and therefore friends' parents) would have known about that, but it would have been very disruptive, if not dangerous, if this had happened to her. It's good that you have challenged this because a child in that situation shouldn't have to make their concerns public. I'm sure the parents in question just haven't considered these possibilities, but that's not a reason to leave it be.

YANBU, though some will think you are being a busy-body.
Our school has a policy now, where no pics of dc can be taken at assembly, nativity plays, sports day etc. Parents can however, take pics of their own dc at the end of these events. This is to protect dc who are vulnerable for some of the reasons mentioned above.
So, I think what you did was ok, and I wouldnt like pics of my dc on facebook or youtube without my knowledge.

We object [to the point where we had a solicitors sent to the school] because the dc Mum is not supposed to have contact at the moment [she became violent towards us when her ex cut off the maintenance when she lost custody, we do not receive it it is in a trust acc for them]. We do not want her to be able to contact them through friends, know their habits/ daily routine or the area that they live [We moved recently] we used to keep in contact with their dad through fb but have had to stop that also.

BuzzyB I appreciate that there exist a very particular set of circumstances which require you to be more guarded than most. Obviously I wouldn't criticise, or even comment, on your situation.

I am however interested to know the thoughts of those in an "average" situation. It is entirely possible that a peadophile could photograph anyone of our children whilst they go about their daily life and then make pseudo images of them. Obviously that would be horrific but as far as I know only Michael Jackson actually masked his children.

I just wonder whether this is one of those areas we have to accept as inevitable (photos of your children will end up on the net regardless of you feelings about it - not that they will become anything to do with peadophiles).

nancy - situations such as Buzzy descrives are I think sadly far more common than one would imagine..........

I would not want my children on the internet as I feel they have a right to grow up as individuals. If they choose to go on there as adults that is entirely their choice. I do not like seeing other peoples children on facebook etc either if they are not children I know. I recently found that it was easy to access various peoples photos without being friends with them as the privacy settings are all wrong on facebook

I am sorry I cannot find it but was there not a story in the media last year where a uk family went abroad and saw their family pic being used in an advertising campaign, with out permission and taken for facebook.
To show my age before we had to be careful any and all pics I put on f/b has my initials painted on the picture so it would be useless to others

Buzzybb here

Thanks mega that is it apologies it did not mention f/b

no but it did say social networking which indicates facebook bebeo or myspace primarily

I don't understand how people can end up having their photos available to anyone and everyone.

Every time I start a new album I get a choice of who it's visible to....

NancyDrewRocked (she really did) - to answer your question - I am perhaps an 'average' parent, and although I don't object to pictures of my own children being put on the internet, I know a few families with adopted children where it would be a total no-no. It's only really since becoming familiar with this kind of situation that I would give it a second thought.

In this case, I am objecting on those grounds, rather than out of my own particular circumstances, IYSWIM.

agree with that purple - I have no objections what so ever about my own children (indeed anyone such as purpleturtle who is on my facebook will know that ) - but it's the knowledge of the situations where it would be a no-no makes me say no as well.

nancydrew, just wanted to say that I also don't actually mind what happens to images of my DC. They are images after all, no harm will come to my children from a blurred party picture on facebook.

I don't understand why normal parents in normal circumstances care about this stuff, but each to their own, and I wouldn't put up pictures if they contained images of children whose parents I don't know well. Not because I agree with their concerns, but because I wouldn't want the hassle.

toccatanfudge unfortunately every time the people who created facebook update things security can change another example of facebook security is this

Next time you go on facebook
Go to the top right of your screen,
click Account then Edit Friends.
Go to the left side of your screen and
click Phonebook how many numbers can you get?

Just another reason why - if a parent has a security sensitive job such as police, army etc, they will not want their children named and photographed especially in school uniforms etc. I know a few families in NIreland where this is quite a serious concern.

mega - that's not new - I joined facebook in 2007 and you had to choose who to show your phone number to back then!

I'm slight as to why this "OMG LOOK WAT THEY'VE DONE NOW" is circulating so much at the moment when it's been like it for so long.

Thanks for answering Just to stress I can absolutely see why some people would not want their children on facebook for the very valid reasons already described in this thread.

I think what has always puzzled me is the idea that I as a responsible parent ought to be concerened about pics of my own DC (for whom no such additional concerns exist. When really I am not. And actually I am somewhat heartened to realise that this doesn't in fact single me out as some sort of negligent freak

When the nursery had a leaving graduation thing last week we had to all sign to agree to have our children photographed and shared. We also had to agree to not post any group shots on any social networking sites without checking with all the relevant childrens parents first. Seemed to work ok as far as I could see.

Lol Nancy you are not a negligent freak of any sort , I guess every one just approaches this from their own perspective and that makes it a difficult thing to police for schools esp as social networks are such an easy way to keep in contact and to show dc achievements to family who are not able to be there, it is seem as a normal form of communication now

the irony is that the woman who has taken offense moved to be away from her abusive ex husband and used to go off her head if the school so much as worded anything about what city she lived in. She was trying to convince everybody she still lived 100 miles away yet can't see the problem. When I explained she said they had all agreed. I asked if she had spoken to all 45 parents and she said no but those she knew were fine and everybody else could off