...to be suspicious?

[nubbins]

Communication between my ex and I has never been great. He has never been reliable and never managed to stick to the same contact arrangements for any length of time. Earlier this year he was threatening to take me to court for custody of my daughter.

So, am I being unreasonable to be suspicious about the recent civil emails I have received from him, his forthcoming nature in organising a visit in the holidays and his eagerness to come to see my daughter near where she lives and honour commitments she already has for the holidays?

It seems a little too good to be true.

Leopards do not change their spots. Meet civility with civility but keep your powder dry... and her passport close.

Could there be a new partner about he is trying to impress?

I'd be very careful.

Years ago, I was advised by a solicitor that many fathers who do not have custody of their kids go through a "impress the new woman with what a wonderful father I am" stage, usually followed by a nasty attack to gain custody (after they've told the new woman a bunch of rubbish lies about how the child's mum is awful and dad is a saint). I agree, be very careful.

Don't let him take her abroad. I would be very suspicious.

Be polite but very wary. And keep her passport at the bank. Don't tell anyone where it is. Not even your DD.

Sounds like he's up to something. Be careful and judge him based on past experience.

mmm, I thought so. He didn't return her passport for ages, the one time I let him have it, so won't be doing that again.

ho hum, we'll just have to wait and see what he replies in answer to what b&b he is staying at. He wants me to drop her off at the station.

ah yes..the 'impress the new woman' thing is a regular with my Ex..kids suddenly start going out places when with him and get fed food other than hot dogs and supernoodles then followed by either (depending on how keen the new woman is) the 'I need to see MY kids more' or 'Sorry can't get anytime off work and if you need me will be in Benidorm 'with work'..even they have begun to recognise the pattern and they are only young

further more then, am I being unreasonable to hope that he brings the new girlfriend with him, maybe then my DD will actually have a great time rather than being dragged round pubs and having to amuse herself when he falls asleep in the afternoon?

one of his ex's bought lovely presents for dd's birthday, no doubt to make up for the lack of effort by me (the evil witch of a mother who would spend all the maintenance money on handbags, which is why he doesn't pay any )

hmm I am always happier to some extent when he has a new woman...when he is on his own they seem to be left to their own devices whilst he goes back to bed etc etc...do we have the same ex?? I spend my maintenance on wine apparently ( hence why I also do not/have never received any )

yes,be careful!

is he from this country?

I would greet these advances with pleasure. He might actually mean it. He might actually have considered his previous behaviour and decided that life is easier and happier when one can communicate civilly and receive civility back...
If you respond well he might continue to keep up his improved behaviour.
Be pleased for your daughter (but yes, be wary in the back of your mind till you see it is true). Please do not go down the route of denying her a holiday with her dad because of your suspicions.