Rant alert... AIBU to think if MIL

[RunawayWife]

Had not been such a lazy cow who sat on her backside watching re-runs of Dallas and let her home be a slum then maybe her off spring would not have the cleaning skills of a limbless pig.

I kid you not, her house was a slum, 6 cats 2 dogs (one that was never house trained) washing piled high, dishes with food on left every where, never a clear space on the table or a sofa/chair you could sit on with out having to move rubbish/pets, over flowing bins, fly's maggots, and bits of dead things the cats had had.

Surprisingly DH was very clean personally, always bathed (once you moved the slime from said bath) cleaned his own clothes and so on. but he is sooooo messy and will just stick dishes (with food still on them) in the sink, thinks the toilet brush is an ornament and the bedroom floor is better then the wash basket.
His brother, sister and half sister are all the same, they live in mess and filth.

I am so fed up of the mess.
I sure as hell hope it is not genetic as I do not want my two sons to grow up and live like this and some poor woman think I never cleaned and that is why she is having to slave behind my son.

Rant over/awaits flaming

mine wouldnt let her ds's do anything. i recall at uni there were lots of boys who had never done any laundry or washing up before. we felt really sorry for them as it was a really really steep learning curve for them.

why would you constantly pick up after your dh? if he wants stuff washed, thenhe had better put it in the laundry bin, or else it doesnt get washed. etc. your house, your rules.

Not going to flame you at all.

I can understand where you are coming from, not that my DH is like this though.

As for it being genetic, I think this is a classic nature v nuture situation and your children will not go on to do this because it doesn't happen at home.

They should see that daddy does his bit though, or "why should we tidy our rooms if daddy just leaves his stuff on the floor".

Could you sit him down and talk about how you would like your house to look and could he help you?

Do it as a family exercise rather than him thinking you are "having a go" at him?

My paternal GM was the same but my dad is super tidy as a result. He just took it upon himself as a child to clean as he couldn't live like it. As soon as he left home it was a tip again.

Just a little comfort in that it's not necessarily a hereditary condition!

I have been cleaning up the mess since 8.30 this morning.....now for the best bit... DH and I are separated
But before you think I am a total mug, he works full time is a brilliant dad and a lovely person (just messy) so I don't mind a couple of hours a week straightening things out as this is my children's home.

But so far today I have removed a black sack full of rubbish picked up from all over the house, bleached the bath room, cleared the patio, washed down all furniture with Dettol, there are 3 of 4 loads of washing to go in and a mountain of ironing that makes K2 look small, I have put away the camping stuff from last weekends cub camp trip and I have a kitchen table full of washing up to do....

Awaits flaming now

"A limbless pig"

I like that one and must remember it tne next time I roar at ask my husband to pick his dirty jocks off the floor

Whr, Oh Why did the strike through not work for me? Ruined the whole effect

My family are super tidy, but I'm incredibly messy. Apparently, I take after my paternal grandmother whom I've never met.

Sorry - that's not much use to you is it? If it's any consolation, I do try to suppress my instinct to spread chaos for the sake of marital peace, as DH is completely anal (he cuts out resto reviews from mags and papers and keeps them in folders according to cuisine ).

FVM you have to do each word separately.

Try yelling him that if he doesn't clean up after himself you will have to live separately as you are no longer prepared to put up with it???

In my case it's quite the reverse - MIL gets up at zero-crack-sparrow-fart with the Vim - her house is spotless - the menfolk within have been raised to believe all this work is carried out by pixies...

Sounds like me sayanything!

MIL is very tidy but she did all the work (quiet life) so three of her four children and her grown granddaughter are messy (unfortunately I'm not with the 4th, that's SIL with the messy daughter!)

Personally I'm fed up of living in a mess, I'm a lot better than before I met my OH but it's hard when you're not a naturally motivated person and your OH can't be bothered.

What, so choosing to marry someone means you have to ignore all their faults all the time?

Well, yes, he's clearly a lovely man, but if people weren't allowed to complain about their DHs on here there'd be very little left of MN......

I also choose to leave him

I could not let my children live in mess or filth.
I clean my own house, DH1s house, work part time, deal with two children, spend one day a week sorting out house/shopping/taking out my mum who is wheelchair dependent, do stuff for the school PA and I manage to do it, so if my MIL had got off her stay at home and watch TV 24/7 backside she could have cleaned the house from time to time.
When FIL died they could not have the funeral from their house it was such a tip, it had to go from his sisters (very neat, clean and tidy house)

I just do not want DH1 to think he can live as he was raised (he freely admits to hating growing up in filth) and subject our children to it.

DS2 is sorting out socks from the washing and DS1 sorting out his room, I will not hand my sons over to their future wifes thinking that good fairies come and clean the house.
I have just finished cleaning the oven after soaking the racks in oven power for two days.

I just really dislike mess and dirt.

Notable you don't mention your FIL doing anything to clean either!

Ruby DH1 raised himself....

MIL was too busy putting all the family money in the fruit machines of the lacal social club.

DH1 will tell you they had to live on beans on toast and borrow from the neighbours.

DH1 was 18 when we met and he worked out how to be a decent person for himself.
His brother is now 43 and has a 17 year old girlfriend he has quite openly been sleeping with for two years, he still lives with MIL, as does his 15 year old son who has a very bad dope problem.... that is the sort of people MIL raises, oh and they all live in filth too

FIL died years ago.
He would sit and dismantle car parts on the dinner table

Oh right, I was going to say he was obviously a good example too but not relevant here

So you are separated, don't live together and you still clean up after him?

When he died MIL moved and DH1 and I had to clear out her house of the stuff rubbish she did not take.
It took us 5 days and £300 for the man with the van to do endless trips to the dump, they horded all sorts of shit things.

She moved in to a lovely clean house, she took half of the stuff from her old house, ( years in this house is as bad as the first one

The last time I stayed there i left covered in bites and the kids had head lice

9

But they are adults-they could get off their arses & clean the house that they live in.

Perhaps if you stop cleaning your husband´s house he´ll do it himself!