To hink SIL should come to her nieces birthday party.

[spybear]

I am having a party for DD next sunday, she will be 3. It is in a community centre but is for friends and family only(she will have lots of similar aged friends and cousins there to play with).

I have invited SIL, MIL and FIL, MIL and FIL probably wont come as FIL is poorly. I don't think SIL will come, not for any reason other than just not wanting too. She has no children of her own, lives with parents still, and i know she doesn't usually do much at the weekends.

I just think that as it is for family and friends that she should make the effort and come to see DD on her birthday.

When I had my last DD, she didn't come and visit or even ring me to see her niece. she only saw her when I took her to visit 3 weeks later.

So will IBU to get angry when she doesn't bother coming to the party( I know i will be angry, but should I keep it to myself)

Why on earth would a single childless woman want to go to a three year old's party? I can't believe your hree year old DD will be bawling her eyes out because her grown up Aunty is not there

My children would have expected their aunts and uncles at their parties - well the ones that lived near enough and, to be fair, they always came. It's 3 or so hours out of her life. I think you are not being unreasonable. What a crap aunty.

My SIL has 2 children of her own yet has never bothered to come to DS's parties. Some people are just too self obsessed to care about anyone else - well she is anyway.

She hasn't been to mum's house since dad passed away other than to drop off kids for babysitting either.

I've stopped caring and life is much less stressful now.

I always used to get invited to my friends and relatives? kids parties before DS came along, and I always went along because I felt I had to, but always felt like a spare part, and as DH and I spent over 10 years TTC, it was also pretty hard for us to do. Don?t take it so personally - people have 1001 reasons why these things are not for them. Shortly after my second (failed) IVF attempt, DH?s cousin had (yet another) child, and we were all invited to go and celebrate this new life, and quite frankly I would rather have peeled my eyelids off with acid. It hurt!
In other news, now we have DS, DH?s brother and SIL have seen him twice. He?s 12 months old and they live 10 minutes drive away. Some people just aren?t interested, but it?s not worth raising expectations over. Honestly!

haha - oops!

I don't think it is anything against your daughter or you, but more that she isn't interested in such an event. (childrens party). If I were the Auntie, and lived nearby, I would want to see her on her birthday, for a visit and to give her a birthday present, but not go to the party.

I don't always go to my sisters' parties and I have a child. We live about 2hrs away, so that's usually the reason why.
I would never expect them to take offence, nor would I if it was the other way around.

My sil (no kids) is only 50mins away and again I wouldn't take offence if she couldn't come to my dds party, but she would def take offence if not invited.

This is because we all have a pretty good relationship. I think this may be the real problem for you.
Why not invite her to dinner. She can then see the kids just before they go to bed(not a long time for someone who sounds like they're not into kids) and you can build on your relationship.

YABU. My kids' parties were for them and their friends. They weren't extended family occasions, although neither of our families lived that near.
I've never been to any of my nephew or neices parties when they got to an age where other kids were coming, rather than the baby parties which were mainly family as too young to have friends.
Kids' parties are hard work.
I would have avoided them when childless and had my own stuff to do on a weekend.
If my relatives lived nearer I suspect we'd have a family occasion sometime after the birthday with more adult food and a more relaxed birthday child when presents can be looked at and child fussed over , rather than inviting adult family to the birthday party when they might feel they have to come to help, but sprog would be overexcited and too busy with friends to take much notice of them.

YABU
childrens' parties should always be optional. I don't expect childless friends or family to attend DS's parties and I know he won't care even a little bit as long as there is cake.