To think that the danger of posting in AIBU...

[5DollarShake]

...is not that people will disagree with you (par for the course, surely), but that they will wilfully misinterpret you, ignore what you've said in preference for how they want to read it, or just not read the posts at all?

I have seen so many threads recently when posters come on and rant berate the OP for something she hasn't even said or done, usually because they don't seem to bother themselves with the facts as presented in the thread...

I realise a lot of people won't have time to read very long threads, but if you're going to go off on one, surely it's better to be at least fairly sure of what you're saying, for fear of looking like a total dick?

AIBU?

Ah, but on the internet being a dick is par for the course so much less people are bothered than you would realise!

Sometimes it's a mistake, sometimes it's an issue which gets people's goat and sometimes people are lazy.

IME, it's mostly fair though.

YANBU
i saw a thread not long ago in which the OP mentioned her toddler had put the phone in the bath - instantly it was assumed

1. there was water in there
2. that the OP could have anticipated this happening
3. that this was indicative of a general slap-dash attitude...

all of which was not the case.

People seem to assume the worst, rather than giving benefit of the doubt.

Op - YABU - i can clearly see you are trying to get MN closed down and have a problem with me being working class.

And i think you should leave him.

( YANBU)

I've just accidently posted a thread on AIBU instead of in chat...I'm going to get slaughtered aren't I?

YANBU. There are people who post threads on AIBU and get arsey when people tell them that they are being a prize twunt when they are, but there are an equally large numbere who seem to come here just to rant at other people for the hell of it and then get overly defensive themselves.

I get that the point of AIBU is that it's a bit of an open season, but surely people should actually make relevant comments. TBH, unless I'm prepared to read the whole thread I won't post, because even as a relative newcomer I've learned how quickly threads can veer, and people too often come on and make judgey remarks about an OP six or seven pages in when the OPoster has changed their stance or (also slightly frustratingly) revealed some additional information which changes the tenor of the thread.

Well said.

I listened to Excess Baggage on Radio 4 on Saturday (warning, middle-class contributor, warning, middle-class contributor) and they interviewed one of the 2 women that set up MN (I forget which and can't be bothered to Google - it was the journalist woman, I think).

When asked whether the discussion boards weren't a bit too bitchy at times, she replied, "Well, you have got over a million women talking to one another - so what do you expect?".

I found that (a) funny and (b) so bloody true.

But then I am a bloke.

I agree that unless you are willing to read the whole thread you shouldn't bother posting. It's rude imo

But usually the AIBU posts are never quick fire yes/no questions, but usually a dredge up and opiniated missive of everything that has happened between the players for years, in the vain hope of convincing those that they are in the right???

Be careful what you wish for/ask (in AIBU)

BarmyArmy, do you imagine that a site with over a million men contributing would be all sweetness and light?

But I think there should be some criteria for starting a thread in AIBU:

1. Do you really want to know if YABU? Are you sure you don't just want a pat on the back or some attention. There are plenty of places for that.
2. Are you aware that it isn't against the rules to disgree with you.
3. Are you prepared to be told that you may in fact be being unreasonable without throwing your toys out of the pram.
4. Are you aware that there are other topics?

If the answer is yes, poster proceed! If no to any of the above, go elsewhere.

I agree with Orm! Ooh and hate AIBU by stealth too. very irritating!

OldLadyKnowsNothing - I take your point but I think it instructive that there very probably isn't such a site!

at ormrenewed and a site with a million men..........arguments along the lines of "united are best" "no city" "no united" and "big tits are best" "no small tits" etc etc........I can see it now..........

possibly that should be a sticky at the top of AIBU orm....

I agree that there are a few self righteous idiots who just love to jump down people's throats (often makin eejits of themselves in the process as they clearly haven't 'got' the point the OP was making). But I reckon some people come on her looking for a row.

No, YANBU. I've always thought that the point of AIBU was to about something in which you may well be unreasonable, in which case it is hardly helpful if responders couldn't be bothered to actually read the whole conversation before making a rash judgement.

I remember, recently, spending 2 days catching up on a heated debate just to get to the end where someone who had clearly not bothered to read made a very rude comment regarding the OP and it reminded me of someone who refuses to listen what others are saying and just shouts their (often) msinformed opion at others