AIBU to be absolutely incandescent with rage . . .

[BicycleBelle]

. . . that none of my family sent my DD a card, let alone a present, for her 9th birthday last Saturday? I am so upset and angry I've hardly slept for seething the last couple of nights. My sister will probably claim she was too busy, but so am I and I never miss her DDs birthdays. I always phone and ask what they are interested in at the moment and send a present in good time. Even if you miss the post, can't you at least phone or email and get something off as soon as you can?

My parents I find even more unforgiveable. They are retired and have all day every day to get themselves down to the post office (we live about 100 miles away). I don't know whether they forgot (who can forget a grand daughters birthday?) or its a deliberate miss. They are pretty crap grandparents, and have only visited once in the last two years, and are generally very critical of DD2 in particular but all 3 kids in general.

Can anyone explain why they might have done this and help me hold back from writing the stinging email I want to send to all of them saying I never want to see or hear from them again. I can't forget my DD's little face waiting for the post and nothing arriving . . .

My sister has finally sent a text saying sorry she forgot, she's been busy (of course) and saying she will have card and present for when we next see her in about 6 weeks time. Waited a few hours before replying so that I could calm down. I asked her to put something in the post as DD2 was upset that none of her family had remembered, and pointing out that grandparents had not remembered to send so much as a card. I refrained from saying how angry I was, but I hope it will be picked up, and passed around the family. I'll see what response I get, and if its not apologetic then I will get angry.

BB You never know, GP's card could have got lost in the post, and they're at home wondering why they've not had a phone call to say thank you for the money (wishful thinking, but you never know!)

Have just had flaming row with mother on the phone. Sister had called to tell her that everyone missed DD2 birthday. She just completely forgot and could not understand why I was cross. Apparently I'm being unreasonable for not saying, oh never mind. Father came on phone and said how dare I speak to my mother like that. I said I didn't want to speak to either of them agin until they had made it up to DD2 and put the phone down. Not very eloquent but I feel a lot better for getting it off my chest.

Set up a PO Box address and let the MN hordes send cards to your DD to make up for it - go on! Then surprise her with them I'll send one for starters

Ah, thanks. Like someone said at the beginning of the thread, I think I am going to have to take personal responsibility for ensuring that my DCs have a great birthday and not exspect anything from my relatives. She had a lovely birthday party on the garden and lots of presents from us (except the kitten she really wanted!)and so she doesn't need crap grandparents. Now we all know that, we won't be disappointed again.

My dad forgot dd2s first birthday last year. I know he's a scatty bugger but thought he'd at least remember her first. I try and deal with his rubbishness by getting in early and asking him if he's thought about what he's going to get them for their up and coming b days. Then when I've given him the blatent reminder I suggest something they might like and even suggest that I get it and he send a cheque, (he's not local either).

I know it lets him off the hook but at least the kids won't be too gutted as they get old enough to notice. Also, I know he doesn't mean to be so pants, I just think he's not made to be the doting grandad type. His loss.

Think it's really important not to talk badly of then in front of your DD. I know it's difficult but for her sake.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.