to think expecting a 9yo ds to care for 4 and 2 yo dds while you recover from a severe hangover is out of order?

[thecaptaincrocfamily]

Went out for a night with friends when someone I know did this. I was ? DH was working.

ive done a lot of the things described by other posters, i tend to have the odd drinky poos every couple of weeks, and have dozed in and out of sleep on the setee whilst kids ate biscuits aspartame and general crap.

i was not upstairs expecting a 9 yo to look after a 4 & 2 yo

thats quite different

the car thing - whilst she goes to work is just shocking.

Mumcentreplus its very different because both children are older, but a 9yo should not be expected to be responsible for a 2yo and 4yo imo

I agree cap...it's the fact the 9yr old is actually 'responsible'...is she dead to the world or just vegging out on the sofa?

Mumcentreplus makes an important distinction. To me, it would be wrong to make the 9yo responsible if the adult cannot be called on in an emergency. But if the 9yo is only responsible to the extent that he plays with his little siblings while his mum is having a lie-in (but conscious enough to be called on if needed), then that isn't ultimately making the child responsible at all.

at age 9 my oldest 2 have at times been expected to get breakfast for their younger siblings (would have been 7 and 5 plus 3 for dd1 and 7 and 5 for dd2 with dd1 being 11) I suffer from very occational migraines and they can come on very fast and have three times done so after dh has left for work. On days like that (thankfully all 3 have been in holidays) dd1 and dd2 has had to take over whilst I got myself drugged up and we waited for a friend to collect them.

I have never been hangover and left them alone and would never leave them in the car whilst I went to work.. I cant however help but wonder if she said that to you hoping you woulld offer to have them?

"A 9 yo will not constantly be aware of the mischief a small child is up to"

I would have thought a 9yo with younger siblings would be far more aware than e.g. a childless adult. I spent a lot of my childhood marshalling younger brothers about and I was very aware- very useful preparation for motherhood.

Not ideal perhaps but I dont suppose you intended to get a hangover. The children were at home, you were there, they weren't going to starve.

A child is nly going to learn to put a knife in a toaster if they see an adult doing it.

I'd expect a child of 4+ to be able to use a toaster and microwave safely.

I don't think that's necessarily true. Chimpanzees can work out for themselves the concept of using a long pointy thing to work something that's stuck out of whatever it's stuck in, after all. What's lacking in both chimpanzees and small children is a grasp of the principles of electricity (when I was 5 or so I was making toast and it stuck in the toaster and caught fire. So I poured a bottle of water over it (while still plugged in and switched on, of course). Fortunately no harm done but it was probably not my wisest move as a child).

As a one off - meh

The car thing - not on at all