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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really angry with my neighbour?

29 replies

Broodymomma · 19/07/2010 17:26

Neighbour moved in about a year ago - we have adjoining gardens. Have spent the last year enduring his blaring music all day every day. Have never said anything to them about the music but 4 weeks ago a new dog appeared and I find myself pushed to my limit.

This poor animal is left out in the garden all day every day and it barks from the second they leave until they return. If its not barking its whimpering and its so upsetting to hear. Not to mention absolute torture to listen to barking from a large dog for 6 - 8 hours. They have a bed for him in their garden shed but it just sits at their patio doors and howls.

I have a 3 year old ds who is too afraid to play in his own garden because of the barking. The noise is unbearable and we cant even sit and enjoy our own garden now.

I suggested that dh approach the owner and just say what is happening when they are not there but we both agreed he is not the approachable sort so would we be unreasonable to put a anon note through his door?

They are rapidly turning into neighbours from hell - the teenage kids are fine its the dad who is a bloody nightmare.

Any suggestions on the most tactful way to handle this? I really dont want a big fall out with the neighbours but also cant take the constant barking. Yesterday it went on from 13.30 - just after 20.00 - solidly!

Just to add I am NOT a dog hater - feel very sorry for the dog itself.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 19/07/2010 17:32

RSPCA as a first port of call. Then environmental health at the council to complain about the noise.

flootshoot · 19/07/2010 17:35

I'd call the RSPCA. Has the dog access to water/food during this time?

Can you contact their landlord/HA/the council? They sound like a PITA to me.

OnEdge · 19/07/2010 17:36

Might be worht having a quiet word first, but then it takes all the anonymity out of it if you have to take things further. Hmmm its a tricky one.

EmmaKateWH · 19/07/2010 17:36

RSPCA re the dog and council re the noise.

Original poster
Broodymomma · 19/07/2010 17:38

I can only presume there is water/food in the shed - I have given it some water from our garden hose on really hot days. Just had a look at the environmental health webiste and it said to keep a diary of all disturbances so thats what I will do. Poor animal. Thanks for the advice

OP posts:
pluperfect · 19/07/2010 17:46

Can it get worse is the question? You are already suffering the noise, the pity for the dog and your own resentment. Is the neighbour likely to get nasty? What you are enduring is already nasty, and he needs to be told. If, however, he's shown an aggressive side, I agree it would be wise to tread more carefully.

Animation · 19/07/2010 17:51

I'd have to say something. Guess it's how you say it that matters, - good natured - down to earth - with humour. Something like, "good God man, what's up with your dog - it never stops barking. Driving me nuts. I know a man who can train dogs not to bark."

spixblue · 19/07/2010 17:53

This is a difficult one - poor you! I guess that it differs from council to council, but in our area, a barking dog wouldn't be classed as noise polluting unless it was barking from 11pm - 4am.
However, this sort of treatment of a dog could be classed as neglect. I'd try phoning your local RSPCA to get their advice.
If things like the blaring music get unbearable and you continue to feel intimidated by the guy, try getting advice from the Citizens Advice bureau about what you can do.
If you're not too intimidated, passing the time of day over the fence can help. It sounds like you can talk with some members of the family, so offer what hints you can to them about how things are. The more you are able to talk to them the better. Hope things improve for you!

JaneS · 19/07/2010 18:06

He sounds like a bit of an inconsiderate twat, but remember he can't know the dog is barking if he's not there, you do have to tell him, so maybe try telling him nicely first and then see? Some dogs really don't like being alone and will be completely different when their owners aren't there to see/hear them.

elmofan · 19/07/2010 18:10

Another vote from me to tell the neighbour how his dog acts while he is out , & if after that the dog is still yelping all day then contact the RSPCA .

TarheelMama · 19/07/2010 18:11

You should really approach your neighbour, either in person or by letter, and let him know about the dog barking.

I have a dog who will bark whenever she sees anyone (through the window) walking outside. I didn't realise she was barking incessantly whilst we were out until a neighbour slipped a note through our door. We ended up putting frosting (not expensive, we bought stickers that we put on ourselves, cost about £20) on the window so that the dog couldn't see out to bark and it made all the difference. We'd never have known if our neighbour hadn't approached us.

Original poster
Broodymomma · 19/07/2010 18:13

Thanks everyone - to be honest the wife and teenage kids are ok, noisy but pleasant enough. The Dad on the other hand just glares at us constantly. I have tried often to say hello and he blanks us - has done from day 1. Its pretty much the reason we have never felt comfortable approaching them about the music. He is a taxi driver so comes and goes at all hours so though the dog does not bark outside in the night the music is often on at all hours. He puts it on as loud as it will go then sits in his garden with the doors open.

I know my lovely neighbour on the other side of them has had words with him about blocking their car in so I may go and have a chat with them and see if it has been annoying them. I suppose as a shift worker I am home more in the day so perhaps notice it more.

Just bugged the hell out of me yesterday when we had a gorgeous day but could not go enjoy our garden due to the dog's noise. I dont understand why they have a dog. Funnily enough they have 2 but its only this one thats a problem the other one gets kept inside and if it is out it does not bark enough to be a disturbance to anyone. I have heard them shout at the dog then next thing its in the garden for hours on end. I would not midn but we are in detached houses and I can still here it. God I want my old neighbours back. It almost had me in tears yetserday it was like a form of torture!

OP posts:
mamatomany · 19/07/2010 18:13

I'm guessing you and they own the houses rather than renting ? In which case all complaints will be noted and could put people off buying your house but also theirs.
Try to appeal to his better nature first.

Original poster
Broodymomma · 19/07/2010 18:18

Just to follow up on the last posts they are often also home when the dog is barking, they put him in the garden and then shut the doors which them makes it howl at the doors. About every ten minutes or so one of them with shout at it to shut up. So its happening when they are home but is much worse when they are out.

I think we will do a note and if no change then take it further, I would not want him knowing for sure it was us if we have to take it further.

To give you an example of this guy he happily throws his cigarette butts into my garden (even last year when my son was just a toddler picking up everything). That stopped when I gathered them up and threw them back. When his wife took in a delivery for me he brought it to my door rang the bell and I opened the door to him throwing it on my porch then tutting and walking away, not the type of guy I feel we could have a quiet word with. Its such a shame as we have been happy here for 8 years until he moved in.

OP posts:
SugarMousePink · 19/07/2010 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Broodymomma · 19/07/2010 18:19

Yeah its private housing not rented. I never knew that about complaints. Thanks for warning me! Feel like I am in a no win situation here.

OP posts:
mamatomany · 19/07/2010 18:21

But equally he's not in a great position either if he ever wants to sell his house a complaint I believe doesn't say who's complaining about whom so it'll look equally as bad for him.
I'd maybe mention that in a nice letter, you've got to do something but I think I'd move personally, it'll never improve unless the dog goes or you do.

Original poster
Broodymomma · 19/07/2010 18:23

The dog is not chained up it has the run of the garden and a open shed for shelter. The dog itself is pretty viscious looking and runs up to our fence barking and jumping up the second we go out - I just want my child to be able to play in his garden. So annoyed

OP posts:
Original poster
Broodymomma · 19/07/2010 18:26

We have thought about moving but we bought our house at a good time before prices rocketed and we would end up with a much higher mortgage and probably a flat as opposed to a house. I love my home and we worked blimmin hard to be able to afford it so moving is just not an option. God I sound like a whinge but there is no way I am loosing my lovely home because of that idiot. I would be lucky for anyone to buy it if they knew that was the neighbour!

OP posts:
Chandon · 19/07/2010 18:36

I am sorry, that sounds like a nightmare.

Sorry, no ideas.

muminthemiddle · 19/07/2010 18:43

What about errecting a large fence too?
I wouldn' t want my child restricted from going into the garden.

spixblue · 19/07/2010 18:49

Aw - you're definitely entitled to a huge whinge! I think everybody really sympathises. It feels like an invasion of your home if you can't use your garden in the way you are used to doing. But mamatomany is right about any dispute known to the council being open knowledge to potential house buyers.
Maybe this guy doesn't enjoy being a taxi driver. It could be people dump all sorts in the back of his cab, and he wants to vent his rage by dumping all sorts on you. Either way, it sounds like he has issues.

smokinaces · 19/07/2010 18:50

We had this with some neighbours at our old house. They left their dog in the garden 24 hours a day and it would bark all the time - 6am, 1am, 3pm. All day.

In the end one of the other neighbours rung the council who sent every house (other than theirs!) a sheet to record all the times of noise. We all submitted these, and the environmental noise and RSPCA paid them a joint visit. They were given a warning and 4 weeks to change. We carried on with the noise sheets and nothing changed, so they were told they had to either move or remove the animal.They moved house in the end - that nights sleep was the best I had ever had!

I would talk to your other neighbours (chances are they are pissed off too) and go through the council and the RSPCA

spixblue · 19/07/2010 18:50

You could maybe get yourself a noisy dog too?

mumofthreesweeties · 19/07/2010 18:56

Sorry you are having this awful experience. I really sympathise with you and incidentally I am experiencing the same thing bar the dog. Yesterday I went to their house at 1am, 2am and 4.30am because of their loud music - to no avail might I add. I called our LA noise team but they finish work at 1am so they could only log the call unfortunately.

Today I decided to write an 'impact statement' which I posted through their door highlighting the impact (obviously) their noise is having on our health and whether they will be open to intimidation. I am really not holding my breath but I copied the letter to the antisocial behaviour dept of the local police station and to my LA noise team. I am confident that we are going to end up in court over their noise levels. They are honestly neighbours from hell and I hate them....

So no YANBU to approach them formally about their noise nuisance

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