AIBU in wandering wtf mt sex drive has gone

[Spicethingsup]

Hi all i have name changed for this for obvious reasons.

I am only 21 and married for just under 2 years been together for 6 years have one DS 5 yo

But my sex drive has completely gone

I have no idea why it has just got gradually worse since having DS.
Some nights i really do fancy some but for some reason i just cant seem to be bothered and its really starting to put a strain on things.

When me and DH first got together it was happening like 6 times a day sometimes and it wasnt just in the bedroom we couldnt keep out hand of one another.

I dont nessasary want it back to that, but just to want it 2 or 3 times a week or evan once a week would be great.
I miss great sex

AIBU and how do i get it back??

Unfortunately, when you've been with someone for a long time the spark does fade. I found this a while ago with my DP, but try doing different things - be spontaneous, try massaging/tickling etc. You do need to work at it more, but the outcome is very much worth it

HTH

Blimey, why did you settle down so young?

Lots of possible reasons.

Could be hormonal - have you gone on the Pill or changed Pill recently? If it's been a sudden change then it's worth seeing the GP about.

Could be tiredness - it's very hard to get interested in sex when you're knackered or stressed.

Could just be that domesticity has taken over and you need to re learn to see DH in a sexual way (date night, massages etc as goodish suggests).

Also, I think most people find that the more they have sex the more they want it (and the less they have it the less they want it). So it may be worth making the effort even when you can't quite be bothered - you are likely to enjoy it once you're up and running, and it may well make you more keen next time round.

Ok thanks i have gone on the pill recently, but as i said it has been like this for a while now, but i guess the pill could have killed the little bit that was there.

Could changing my pill help? Or are they all gonna have the same effect.

The trouble is the time when we were having great sex was when we wernt using any contraceptive. But cant do this again.

oh and moondog, why the sad face?

.

It could be the pill- I've heard that can be a side effect. Are you happy with the pill generally though?

Do you feel stressed? Unhappy? Tired? These things can happen though- sometimes life gets in the way! I would suggest a naughty night away/in without LO but only if you felt like you weren't putting 'pressure' on yourself to feel up to it. Bubble bath, massage, glass of wine?!

Well tbh i have been feeling a bit down l8lty so i think i will have a word with gp about changing, but like i said would any other pill me any diffrent.

We had a night without DS the other night and was gonna plan a bit of the above but DH didnt know and invited BIL over for the night

Totally agree with Minipie - sex is habit forming and the more you do it the more you'll want to do it.

It also doesn't help when everyone else seems to be at it like rabits . I think this is an illusion though - I think we all feel like this sometimes. I've not really got my sex drive back since DS was born 2 years ago, and it isn't just that I'm tired/domesticity has got in the way etc - I'm not even feeling sexual when I'm on my own IYSWIM.

DH is very supportive (although he must be frustrated ) and is happy to take things slowly and be patient, and slowly things are getting better.

I'm not sure really what my point was, but I wanted to show solidarity. Patience and a little work and I'm sure you will sort it out, and the fact you have worked it through will also make you closer.

Moondog thats a bit harsh! I have been married 6 years tomorrow and am 26. Nothing wrong with settling down young and it doesnt mean the spark has to fade or you have to have less sex.

Do stuff together and have a laugh and the more you have the more you want. Talk about your fantasies, dress up, play games etc. Every so often I go on lovehoney and see if I can buy something new for something different to do. In your case though it might be worth changing the pill.

Ok thanks all,