DH forgot to collect DD from school!

[sparklingchampagne]

DH isn't working this week, so said he would collect DD from school (she usually goes to after school club and I pick her up at 4pm when I've finished)
Had a call from school to say no one had collected, luckily I work locally so have got her now, poor thing, she was so upset!

DH is notoriously forgetful, he forgets birthdays, arrangements we've made etc. For example, his best friend is coming to stay with us this weekend, this has been arranged for months, and I don't know how many times I've had to remind DH of this as he's forgotten and started making plans to do something else!
If it was just 'boring' things he forgot I wouldn't be so worried, but forgetting to pick DD is a big thing.

AIBU in thinking that he should go to the GP about this - he says he just forgets stuff cos he's busy, but his Dad had Alzheimers and I just get a nagging feeling about this 'forgetfulness.'

Am I lazy? Possibly. I don;t think it's "pure laziness" that makes me forget things though TBH.

Oh I couldn't survive without the alarm on my phone, it tells me everything I have to do.

MIL loves to tell a story of when her DD was a little baby, in the 60s this would be, and she left her asleep in the car while she went shopping. Then she absent mindedly got the bus home (as she usually would) and only remembered about the baby in the car when she sat down to have a cup of tea. Baby was fine, still asleep. She thinks this is an hilariously amusing anecdote but I swear I just start nearly crying every time she recounts it.

TFM - no its not laziness that CAUSES you to forget. Laziness is then NOT DEALING with inevitable forgetfulness.

Yes but you can forget to deal with it.

Last week DS went to summer school for a couple of days. Normally DS1's school finishes at 4pm, summer school finishes at 3pm.

I had gotten into the habit during the term of napping with DS2 until around 3:30pm...

Hmm. I do have systems. But sometimes my systems fail. I don't know - the occasional slip up is I think not unreasonable, but if there is a constant pattern of flakiness, that's different.

All the harse words from people who use alarms (I am indeed one of these). Why did you start setting alarms?

Probably because you forgot something important and thought "right! From now on no mistakes, this is what I'll do".

I haven't personally forgotten my daughters at school but I do use alarms as the end of school can come around awfully quickly.

I also empathise with sheenbeen's mum.
When I had dd3 (after a 4 year gap) I constantly forgot her pretty much everywhere for the first 6 weeks or so, in the car, at freinds houses (if she was asleep).

She means as much to me as my first two but it just took me a while to get into the habit of looking out for 3 children rather than 2.

Strategies so it doesn't happen in future. The past is past, just learn from it.

DH does this kind of thing. Both he and DD live on Planet Zog, with their heads firmly in the purple clouds. It drives me and DS1 insane....but generally washes over them, and I have to be ultra organised to make sure everyone is where they should be. I feel your pain, OP.

He's just a bloke!! They just can' multitask like women.

I'm embarrassed to say that I've done the same myself once only & the School rang me & I could be there in 3 minutes, so not the worst case scenario but not good, especially as its my Job every day, I can't explain it, just sort of "lost time"

that said, I DO have health problems that can affect cognitive ability, & memory, so use a huge whiteboard & thick black marker in my Kitchen, & since that incident swear by reminder alarms on my phone for School pick up etc etc

As a teacher is it possible he's under a lot of stress??, that can affect memory, lots of things can, it doesn't have to be Alzheimers, could be something a simple as vitamin deficiency, iron, B12 etc, low magnesium can mean he doesn't handle stress well, so can be a route cause, & its easy to be deficient these days...........

there is a good supplement I discovered a while back you can get it in Boots etc, & its aimed at students cramming fo exams, but its good for anyone who is forgetful....Nurozan, it might be worth starting him on that?

& if he's an Art or Science Teacher....it might just be him getting too absorbed in projects, & just the way he is.....so do definitly look into the phone alarms....I swear by mine

"Just a bloke?" Wtf? How patronising and untrue.

I read a really good article once explaining that the old "men can't multitask" thing was a load of old poo that someone just ranodmly made up once - along with the old chestnut about women saying 340 more words than men in a typical day (or whatever). It was all made up and now loads of magazines etc repeat it and it has passed into urban legend.

it's not the worst thing in the world if he's forgotten once, but if he is not 100% apologetic to your DD tonight and then changes his behaviour in future (setting an alarm for e.g.) then that is unforgivable.

My mother who is uber organised did this once ,now if the tables had been turned and i had forgotten something so important ,i would have been at the mercy of her considerable wrath ,i on the other hand except that most of us are infact human and should be allowed to make at least one fairly large mistake a year

I don't think minipie is right. There are programmes and training and techniques to improve memory.

Completely human. I remember once when I was about seven and my dad took me out with him. He was waiting in the long queue at the bank and told me to go and sit down. So I did, got into a daydream, and then resurfaced and realised about ten minutes had passed and my dad didn't seem to be in the bank any longer...

Even at that age though I wasn't that worried, and I wasn't surprised! I poked my head out of the door and saw him running back towards me. I was mostly worried about how long it would take him to realise, not the fact that I had been left at all...

He was a teacher, too. Maybe it's a teacher thing?