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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be utterly fuming -advice needed please

42 replies

musicmadness · 19/07/2010 13:44

Hi all. I'm posting this on behalf of my aunt.

A couple of weeks ago my cousin (age 7, year 3) suffered a freak accident in p.e. she fell off a bench they were balancing along and has 4 compressed spinal fractures. She now has to stay in a brace for at least 3 months (could quite possibly be longer) and the doctor said it is very lucky that she was not older as she could have been paralysed if she was older when the spine is less flexible.

It has been accepted that this was a freak accident and the school had no real way to prevent it happening and my aunt was not angry with them at this point.

as there is absolutely no point in my cousin going back to school for the last few days (she is on pain medication and can't move around well) my aunt went into the school to collect any information about next year and any work that she had missed that they wanted her to complete.

While she was there the head came to talk to my aunt about my cousin. in the course of this conversation the head said that she did not think that the injury had happened at school and that my aunt must have sent her in already injured! my aunt is utterly furious about this, the poor girl couldn't even stand up straight after the accident so it would have been obvious if there had been a problem before and there wasn't.

I think the head is just trying to cover her backside in case my aunt trys to sue the school, which she wasn't even thinking about anyway! but the heads attitude was aweful and my aunt was really upset about the head basically suggesting that she hadn't noticed her daughter was severely injured!

Sorry this is long but my aunt really wants to know what she should do about this. She wants to complain about the head but isn't sure who to complain to, or even if this is normal behaviour after an injury at school? what would anyone here suggest? thanks.

OP posts:

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 19/07/2010 13:47

I would complain my arse off. How dare he? Is it worth contacting the LEA? I hope your cousin recovers well, poor thing

swanandduck · 19/07/2010 13:47

She could maybe complain to the Board of Management.

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 19/07/2010 13:49

YANBU they are trying to get themselves off the hook

were they using PE mats properly?

BeerTricksPotter · 19/07/2010 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

loopyloops · 19/07/2010 13:52

It does sound as if you're right, the head is trying to cover his back, but this is entirely inappropriate.
I would be inclined to write a letter of complaint and send a copy to the head and governors. She needs to think about what the outcome that she would like is, ie. an apology. She also needs to state that she feels upset that the head, despite medical professionals agreeing that it occurred during this accident, presumed to suggest that she had sent such a poorly child to school, thereby questioning her parenting.
It sounds as if a meeting will be required with the head, class teacher and probably chair of governors (and occupational/physiotherapist??) anyway, as the little girl may need some extra help when she returns to school. I would suggest this in the letter, to take place as soon as possible in order to resolve both matters as quickly as possible.

loopyloops · 19/07/2010 13:52

Yes, the LA too.

swanandduck · 19/07/2010 13:54

Sorry, I meant Governers not Board of Management.

Snuppeline · 19/07/2010 13:59

All good advise here but I'd also bring in the PE teacher who must have raised the alarm? Did she not contact you? And did she not call hospital/doctor/raise the alarm at school? Also your DD's friends would know whether she fell or whatever. I think its scary that a head would try to cover their backside in this way, very upsetting I'm sure. Meeting and written apology from Head with Governors and PE teacher would be what I'd want.

swanandduck · 19/07/2010 14:01

Presumably the medical report would make it clear whether her fall caused the injury or exacerbated an existing one?

swanandduck · 19/07/2010 14:03

I meant as 'proof' for the Governers, not to check up on yourself.

Original poster

musicmadness · 19/07/2010 15:02

Thanks all. Yes they had got mats down but she caught herself on the bench as she fell (falling backwards onto the bench then then slipping off), and the doctor thinks that caused the damage, rather than the contact with the floor as such. From what my aunt said they were not denying she fell just saying that it did not cause any damage, and she was already injured. I haven't seen her medical report but i'll mention it to my aunt. Governers are the ones immediately above the head in the school hierarchy right? don't think my parents ever spoke to anyone other than my class teacher when i was in school, so don't really know how these things work.

OP posts:

sapphireblue · 19/07/2010 15:30

definitely get in touch with the governers and LEA.....the very fact that the head feels the need to deny the injury occured at school suggests that he thinks the school were somehow at fault IMO.

ramade · 19/07/2010 15:37

Ask your cousin who was there, get some witness statements. Also, asll acidents should be logged. Contact the teacher and ask for a photocopy of incident sheet.

FindingMyMojo · 19/07/2010 15:40

The Head referred to in OP is clearly a woman. Replies assumed 'he/him'. Why I wonder?

I hope your cousin recovers fully OP.

BarmyArmy · 19/07/2010 15:43

And here, in the responses to date, is evidence of why we live in such a litigious culture.

Your aunt is annoyed at the perceived slight on her and, as a result, everyone is shrieking with hysteria in such a way that the likely response will be for their precious darlings to have physical activities removed from the curriculum.

Calm down, for God's sake.

agedknees · 19/07/2010 15:49

Music - I had a similair accident which involved a wooden step, not a wooden bench. I also sustained 2 spinal fractures.

The head is talking through his you know what. Get a copy of the medical report, ask to get a copy of the accident report from the school. Ask your aunt to contact the consultant who dealt with your cousin for a letter highlighting the probable cause of the injuries.

I am so mad on your aunts behalf. How dare he cover his arse in this way.

OnEdge · 19/07/2010 15:54

When I was 2 Mum collected me from childminder and I was in agony trying to put coat on. Went to A n E and had fractured arm.

The childminder insisted I must have arrived like it in the morning, but Mum said she would definately have known.

Greenshadow · 19/07/2010 15:54

Well said BarmyArmy.

The Head is a pratt, but that doesn't mean your aunt has to take it further. Sounds like there hasn't been a proper dialogue between head and class teacher.

prozacfairy · 19/07/2010 15:55

How is it a perceived slight BarmyArmy? The HT basically said that the mother muat have sent her child to school badly injured, presumably because she hadn't noticed her child's pain or because she didn't care enough?

I'd complain to Governors or whoever about the head's stinking attitude more than the accident tbh. Especially at what must be a difficult time for the girl and the rest of the family.

agedknees · 19/07/2010 15:58

Also, if the head really believed that your cousin sustained the injuries at home has she contacted social services??? I bet the answer is NO.

She is just trying to cover her back in a not very nice way. Makes you wonder what else she is covering.

BarmyArmy · 19/07/2010 16:00

Yeah, sorry - let's push this as far as we can and try and get some to pay, eh?

Might be a tidy sum to be made here.

BusyMissIzzy · 19/07/2010 16:23

Barmy Nobody's suggesting litigation; people's complaints (including the OP's aunt, bt the sounds of it) are with the Head's behaviour, not with the accident itself. For the Head to suggest that the aunt is at fault/didn't notice her child had spinal fractures, when the accident actually happened at school, is ridiculous and inappropriate.

prozacfairy · 19/07/2010 16:30

agedknees- good point. Surely if HT thinks a student of hers sustained severe injuries of any kind at home she has the legal and moral obligation to contact Social Services with her concerns? Wonder why she (presumably) hasn't?

MrsGangly · 19/07/2010 16:46

I can't stand the blame-claim culture but I think Barmy's response is the odd one.

According to the OP, it was a freak accident, no-one is at fault, it just happened, PE will continue, didn't see any suggestion from her or anyone else that anyone should pay out.

But now the Head is accusing the mother of sending her daughter into school with these very serious injuries. That is a serious allegation to make and is more concerning about the school's reaction to a serious incident. Action to look at that is hardly disproportionate.

BarmyArmy · 20/07/2010 13:35

All these calls to see documents, take statements, report to Governors etc - they all add up to increasing the bureaucratic workload on the teaching staff, when they should instead be teaching.

The spirit (if not the letter, I concede) of these comments has been that the school are to blame and should be held accountable.

Sometimes accidents just happen. A misguided remark from the Head is not something worth getting all het up over.

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