not to give up on mil

[mumof2children]

my mil is suffering with depression, and some of the things she says about ds are hurtful to me. like she beginning to hate my son due to his behaviour, he has adhd so often is 'naughty' and will say things like i hate you and i get daddy to kill you ect.

i know this is part of her illness, so will not restrict the time she has with both my children...i arranged for her too see my son peadatrician (sp).

however people have said to stop her seeing my children....but i know once her medication is under control she will once be a great nan like in the past

How old is your son? Can you explain that she is not saying the truth to him as this sounds v v disturbing behaviour for a child to witness. If you cannot explain this to him I think that you should probably wait until she is well for them to see her.

Children remember and understand much more than you think that they do.

I would have to decide if it is too damaging to the children to continue contact with her. As Pippop says, it depends on his age and level of understanding about her present behaviour.

she has not said anything to my children, to them everything is normal

What about how she behaves around them? Has that changed?

not to my knowledge,she is a good nan

If it is having no bearing on how she treats your ds then you are being very supportive by sticking by her and IMO are doing the right thing.

YANBU, refusing her access to him could have a great effect on her mental health.

Good on you for being so understanding.