To be upset by MIL

[holidays2010]

When my DH's MIL visited my DH and I 'joked' about having another baby (already got one) and DH has kids from previous marriage.
But her response was an outright no and said to my DD "You dont need another brother/sister" and made it clear she didnt want us to have another.
The conversation was light but I felt quite taken aback.

Why would she say this?
I havent talked to my DH about it but will later. Thing is I just found out I am pregnant (over the moon) but now how are we supposed to tell his mum? I assume she wont be too pleased?!
Thing is she is actually a really nice woman.
I just assumed she would be happy?

Its none of her business and if you generally get on perhaps she just spoke before thinking?
My MIL says this but has been over the moon with each of ours (and in fact we are surprising her by giving our new baby her chosen name!)

Good job it's not her decision then!

Talk to DH - if she is a really nice woman then she'll be mortified about what she's said when you do tell her you have another DC on the way.

Congratulations btw

congrats on the pregnancy by the way!

Hmm does she help out a lot with childcare? Will it affect her life in any way? It isnt really any of her business. But in my experience mother in laws can be funny about this - my mil, also lovely, when my dh (then partner told his mother we were expecting her first grandchild) said shouldnt you be doing something else first, i e get married!!! and she didnt speak to us for two weeks. Makes me cross thinking about it now! We had been together for 11 yrs at the time.

haha omg bluebell99!

Thanks.
I think maybe she feels like she has enough granchildren already....6 to be honest...Oh wait that's not counting two from his sister.
But 5 are from his previous.
I dont see why it's fair that I should suffer having only one child just because he started the football team before meeting me! :D

But no she lives abroad so doesnt get to see GC much.

Well I guess that most people would think that 6 children is quite a lot for one person to support so maybe she's just worried about the financial implications of another child.

Congratulations though!

No I doubt that, his ex does well, she has her parents living near by...as much as he hates them. :P

Maybe she didnt mean it. It just struck me at the time and has hit me again now that we are. We were considering it at the time too, DH gave me a look that said "well there's your answer" (if I was wondering what MIL thought)
Anyway thanks for commenting, I'll mention this to DH tonight. See what he says.

Thanks again!

My MIL has 9 grandchildren - 4 from us, 3 from one of my husbands brothers and 2 from another. She had 5 children though so cant really complain too much. If all of her grandchildren are from one son though I can see her concerns but in reality it is still not her choice.

MIL's can be funny my MIL told me to shut the fuck up about it after 10minutes of me babaling baby stuff I am ashamed to say I was so shocked I shut up. My nan said "oh Slushy you are not are you how could you do such a thing" to which I replied "yes and we are very happy about it" with a look that could kill.

Although to be fair MIL likes being center of attention and had only just stopped being pushed aside by SIL's pg. My nan was forced to have more children after being (mistakenly)told my mother would not live to teens.

Congratulations on your pg MIL will come round and be happy for you and I hope everything goes well for you.

OP not sure why your mil thinks she has a say in your life?

She doesn't have a say.

Ignore her until she has something nice to say.

Water off a duck's back. It's NOTHING to do with her.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Don't take it to heart, she probably meant nothing by it. My MIL was saying to a neighbour (in my earshot) that she has too many grandchildren and it makes birthdays/christmas expensive. To be fair she has 8 grandchildren but she had 5 children herself, if all those 5 had followed her lead she'd have 25!

Thanks for all the comments, my DH said she did mean it but also said that she would be happy and sad because of his other kids, he doesnt get to see v.much.
But I told him it's hardly fair for everyone to only look at him when talking of having another like it's bad when it will only be my second.
Dont see why I have to suffer not having more children just because he already has some and other reasons all to do with him.

But thanks, just wanted to get some opinions.

If he is financially supporting and has contact the other 5 then I don't see the problem.

If he isn't then i can see the mils point.