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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mum keeps giving my daughter make-up

16 replies

mrspir8 · 18/07/2010 20:37

My Mum has been super duper recently, having my dd a lot (3 next month) while we pack our house ready for a house move next week.

But theres a problem, she keeps giving dd make-up, it's only samples and stuff but we have already had a very messy expereince with a tube of hand cream becaue of this. Today dd came back from thiers and I wasn't aware that she had any make-up on her (she carries a little handbag round sometimes and it was in there).

I left her in the living room to pop to the toilet only to come back and find bloody shell pink nail varnish spilled over the brown leather sofa. Thankfully i managed to get it off without too much mishap butI am a bit cross.

In my world, it's not at all necassary for a 3 yr old to have make-up, she is not old enough to even play with it properly. Plus I have quite strong feelings akin to "let girls be girls" I asked mum not give her anymore make-up after the handcream incident a few weeks ago. I know Mum is only playing dress up and doing what she thinks is girly stuff with my dd, she buys her some beautiful clothes and things which I dont mind. AIBU asnd how do I broach the subject to get my message across?

OP posts:

hairytriangle · 18/07/2010 20:38

Askbher not to give it any more!

AlaskaNebraska · 18/07/2010 20:38

say mum dont give the make up

HecateQueenOfWitches · 18/07/2010 20:40

Or insist that it all stays at your mum's house for your daughter to play with there. [evil]

Original poster

mrspir8 · 18/07/2010 20:41

I have asked her not to, and I explained why but she has done it on 2 occasions since.

OP posts:

AlaskaNebraska · 18/07/2010 20:41

say " mum PLEASE dont giver her make up i have asked you twice"

HecateQueenOfWitches · 18/07/2010 20:43

Then take it back to her house and say "Thanks for the make up, she really loves it. It is going to stay here for her to enjoy playing with while she's at your house."

See how much she likes it when it's her house that gets covered!

5MoreMinutesPlease · 18/07/2010 20:46

maybw suggest some other games and things they can do with each other, mention some of your dd's favourite things to do that don't invole make up?

poshsinglemum · 18/07/2010 20:50

My dd LOVES make up. She's two. I don't buy it for her. every time I paint my toe nails she gets so excited and throws a massive wobbly if I don't paint hers too. She also steals my lip gloss and drinks my expensive juicy tubes.

I too don't like it as girls should be girls but little girls love it and want to be like mummy.

minxofmancunia · 18/07/2010 20:56

If she's providing free childcare and buying nice clothes for her I'd just lump it I'm afraid. this is a lesson i've learnt myself re gps doing childcare.

It's annoying but it's really only a small thing, my dd is obsessed with make up (nearly 4) to stop her trashing my bobbi brown eye shadows and juicy tubes i've bought her her own cheap tat from Claires. She loves it!

Cookie79 · 18/07/2010 20:59

Maybe tell her the damage it caused to your sofa and if you'd known about the nail varnish in dd's bag you could have helped her use it 'safely' (or pretend that you did ) I must say though it's a teensy bit daft of your mum to give a young child nail varnish and not tell you from a safety aspect but I'm sure she means well.

I am not a fan of little girls and make up and the whole growing up too fast thing. I want my dd to be a little girl for as long as possible.

Unfortunately we have reached a situation with my dd (age 2) where 'pretty toes' are the only way to cut her toe nails. (eyes to heaven icon) oh and she likes to try and put my bronzer on for me, yes darling load up my chanel bronzer and baste me..... Fun when she does my husband though

I think perhaps the damage to property and safety angle is one to use- if you can't stop her giving her make up, at least she should tell you so you are aware that a nail varnish (i.e. a solvent? - correct me if wrong) is in your child's bag.
x

Haliborange · 18/07/2010 21:04

I would be cross.
I don't mind someone painting my DD's nails for a treat, or I have occasionally given her a dab of lip gloss or blusher when I am getting ready for work but why would you give such a small child a packet of spillable goo? Sometimes I think people forget about children's amazing capacity for destruction.
Just tell her it is ok for your DD to play with it at her house but that you don't think it is a good idea to give her things to play with that she is too little to have. I'd put up with the makeup in that context since she is helping with childcare and obviously it is a way she has of keeping your DD entertained while she is there.

Original poster

mrspir8 · 18/07/2010 21:12

Thing is I dont wear make-up at all unless I am going out so she doesn't get much exposure to it at home. I have given her a chapstick all of her very own, partly due to actaully having chapped lips and partly cos it's like lipstick. It's just annoying because I have mentioned it before to mum and she has done it again. I like the idea of leaving her have it at nannys house and not mine!

Thing is still fundamentally disagree that she should have make-up at all, shes beautiful just as she is.

Still cant complain, mum is brilliant really, always on hand to help so I guess I should just put up and shut up.

Does anyone remember "crayon girl" make-up? I think it may have been by avon but it was proper grown up style make-up for little girls, paint and peel nail varnish and double colour fruity lippy!

OP posts:

Haliborange · 18/07/2010 21:14

Yeah, but you see I find that make up for kids thing even worse.

DD1 (aged 4): mummy, can I have make up for christmas?
Me: no, it's not for children.
DD1: yes it is mummy! There is make up for children. Tilly's big sister has it.
Me: grrrrrr.

I do the "chapstick as lipstick" thing too!

Quality · 18/07/2010 22:24

at Alaska.

Failign that search her before you leave your mums and remove any makeup.
DD1 likes to use my expensive benefit face powder, I don't mind as I never use it either, she calls it 'foof' powder (cs that the noise you make when you blow ont eh brush, freakewd DH out for a bit though...)

CardyMow · 18/07/2010 22:36

Just wait until you have a 12yo DD nicking your loreal mascara and leaving her collection 2000 tat in its place...

Easywriter · 18/07/2010 22:43

I'd just ask her not to and tell her about the nail polish incident.

I've had a similar experience with my mum and though I'm fine with dd's playing with makeup, make up can cause damage to furniture and clothes etc.

It was no big deal to my mum.
She explained to dd's that all makeup had to stay at her house so that they could do it again the next time they were together.

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