To leave my 2.9 year old alone at a party.

[Easywriter]

My 3 DD's are at a joint party for 3 school friends. Youngest dd is 2.9, v. confident, knows all 3 girls and their younger siblings and was invited.

Oldest dd's are 6 and are left at parties now (have been for a few years but can't remember when that started happening, I think past 3 tho').

I've just left all three of them eldest dd's are responsible 6 year olds and I've instructed them to keep an eye out for youngest dd and if she looks unhappy then to tell one of the birthday girls mums (who is a friend and we have arranged that she'll ring me if DD is unhappy and I'll go and get her).

Not sure if I was being unreasonable to do this or if I just feel jittery as this is the first time I will have left dd at a party. (She is left alone once a week at a playgroup for 2.5 hours and is happy).
She knows many of the parents there, quite a few are good friends.

What do you think? (Have asked DP and he thinks it's fine, it's just because she's my baby, but he's lovely and thinks everything I do is fine).

Sounds to me as if you have left your dd with your adult friend rather than alone with a bunch of 6 yr old girls! So imo fine.

The phrase 'responsible 6 yr olds' made me laugh. I guess that is the difference between boys and girls at that age .

I personally think its way too young but you know your children and presumably the hots were ok with it.

If the mums involved are happy with it then I'm sure it's fine but I'd be tempted to sit in the car and read a book during the party.

I don't think its fair to expect a 6 year old to look after their sibling at a party when there is so much else going on. I suppose if the other mum is ok about it then fine but I'd hate to be left with such a young child at my DS's party. There is enough else to do without worrying about a small child.

DS is 4 and most parents still stay at parties with their DCs.

Hosts of course - not hots!

There was a thread about this issue from a party entertainer a few weeks ago...

So, will there be an entertainer there?

YABU. She is too young to be left, and you were unfair to do it. It's not fair on the hosts of the party - they should not have to be responsible for such a young child when they have plenty of other things to do running the party.

If you weren't going to stay with her, you shouldn't have taken her IMO.

I remember that thread, HouseofCrazy - is your youngest dd still in nappies Easywriter?

i went to a friends dd party recently and our other friend left her 22 who is 2.9 years old and she was fine. i would not have left my dd as she is a few months younger ( and my youngest dd was ill so it was nice to leave her at home with oh) but i didnt see a problem

A friend had just had twins and it was her eldest's 2nd birthday party. One couple turned up and just dropped off 2 year old and went home for 2 hours.

My face was like this - my poor friend was just too nice to say 'hey - I'm running a party and have newborn twins do you not think you could perhaps stay and watch your child'.

If you discussed it with the hosts (or the hots that made me larf) first and they were ok with it, don't see it as a prob. You weren't planning to go off/leave the country and would be available on mobile I assume. Don't think it would have been quite the done thing to just drop her off and bugger off without saying something though... I trust you didn't do that though.

She is still in nappies but is v unlikely to need a change (if her usual daily behaviour continues) she's in a fresh as a daisy one!

There is an entertainer, the disco was in full swing as I left.

DD's really are responsible, all they need to do is to check if she's crying. Many parents from school are there too. The reason dd's are looking out for youngest dd is so they can let the host know and she'll text me.

Yeah, I didn't just leave her I discussed it with the hosts but I guess I'm texting because she's just in that twilight where it might be unacceptable.

My friend is OK with it. To be honest I think that other parents would spot if she was unhappy and call me before my friend knew anything.

Evil twin is your IABU based solely on the fact that the birthday mum has lots to do already and didn't need another job?

I always thought that if I was running a party than I would be responsible for looking out for the needs of all the children that I had invited to the party. Therefore, if I'd invited a 2.9 yo to my party they'd be my responsibility.

I hate it when parents stay at a birthday party anyway, I find them more of a nuisance to look after with teas, coffees etc. than actually looking after children.

Besides if you've got an entertainer what do you have to do at the party other than food, drink and keeping an eye on the children?

Thanks all!
Am off to pick them up!

I think it's a bit too young easywriter - and I would feel stressed to have been given that responsibility if I was the other mum. But I understand why you did it given all the circumstances. I'm sure she will be fine and unpooey when you collect her!

OP - yes it is, pretty much. When we had out DTD's 4th party, a couple of friends brough their younger children, and they did need watching - too young to just join in. I wouldn't have been happy if they'd dropped and left.

YABU imo.

I wouldn't have left mine at that age and nor would i want responsibility for someone elses 2.9 yr old if I were hosting.

Well I've just collected them and she was absolutely fine.

Unfortunately, she defied her usual toilet habits and had done a poo!

I forgot to say that all of my children are extremely precocious. And youngest dd genuinely thinks that she's 6 (I suppose because her sisters are so she tends to be into 6 year old things, hence she sings along to Abba, Oliver, Chicago song etc. When I arrived she was shaking her pants to Mama Mia - much to the amusement of the other parents.

Maybe I won't do that again too soon. I'm still not convinced that I should have done it.

Sounds fine too me, you have arranged with another trusted adult who will keep an eye, and your dd is confident so I am sure it will be ok. Go and do something nice and enjoy . I would not leave my dd. 3.4 years at a party, as she is not confident and very very very shy in new situations and she does not have any siblings that would look out for her, so it would be too much for the party girls mum to cope with as dd will scream the place down.