feeding my son a sandwich......

[vole3]

OK, hands up! I admit I probably should have thought first before feeding my son 1/4 of a cheese sandwich, but here's the full story.

Village fete afternoon, 3 year old very excited and doesn't want to eat his lunch, so I put it in my bag for later.
Granny and Grandad live next door to the pub, so we park Grandad in the pub, go wandering round the fete and come back.
Buy a round of drinks for 6.
By this time my son is a little peckish, and being the typical 3 year old likes what he likes and wants it when he wants it!
Not sure what the food will be like as the new people only took over the pub last weekend, and also not sure I want to spend £5 on something he won't eat, so get out 1/4 of a sandwich and give it to him.
The previously pleasant and cheerful barlady comes up to us, barks 'we serve food here so you can't eat your own' and stalks off.

Hello to you too I thought!

I am miffed, mainly because of her attitude as there are ways and ways of saying things. However I am also miffed because in-laws have been there 38 years and have seen numerous tenants come and go and Grandad is in there every day for his pint or 2, partly because I had just spent money in the establishment which I am now loathe to do in the future, and partly because as for all she knew he could have had allergies that prevented him eating there and he's only 3 for ##### sake and is still learning that he has to wait for other people to be served first and when he's hungry, he's hungry.

Would have loved to see how she would have dealt with me breastfeeding - 'we do serve draught refreshment here you know, he can't drink yours!!' or some such no doubt

thesecondcoming

and i'm sure they would have sued been uphappy if there precios darlings got burnt

Cheese sandwich bah.
A few years ago while going to watch my team play in the F.A cup we took pork pies and beef sandwiches and ate them in a pub

thesecondcoming - if mum and dad didn't come in at all, then you wouldn't have got any profit.
Though I do agree that toddlers running around is not on, visiting these places is an opportunity for children to learn to sit at a table and socialise with their friends over a beaker of water and a selection of bread/cucumber/carrot sticks.

Just worked out that my small group of childminders spends on average £800 a year at the cafe in Windsor Great Park... whilst occupying 2 or 3 tables for around 40 hours a year. That's quite good I would have thought for the first hour of opening when the cafe is usually fairly quiet (they get a lot of Lunchtime trade and afternoon trade).

The sandwich got put away, we drank up and left.

It is a rural Norfolk pub, a bit like Royston Vasey - a local pub for local people and reliant on local trade. No passing trade unless you count the 1 bus every 2 hours Monday to Saturday and 4 buses a day on Sundays.

We were in the beer garden, the other side of the fence to the fete and on a day of community celebration, I was disappointed that there was little community spirit forthcoming.
Previous tenants have stopped serving food at 3, so at 2:55 I didn't want my son to choose and then be told 'the kitchen's closed'.

The lady knew who Grandad was as she had served him every day and been effusive over her plans for extended hours, live music etc.
Grandad is the sort to sit and smile whilst saying nothing about what the parish council has and has not allowed over the years.

Grandad runs a 2 room B&B and guests nearly aalways end up at the pub for lunch and evening meals.

In this econimc climate I think people would do more to foster goodwill.

As for my son being demanding - he is the sort who will eat when he is hungry and not when he is not. I will not force feed him, but also know he is somewhat grouchy when hungry, so go prepared with something nutritious. I would rather do that than encourage him to eat when he is not hungry and then get slapped by the obesity police later.

No, he wasn't tearing around, he was sitting quietly, enjoying his J2O and spending time with his Grandad.

I wouldn't think twice about giving DD a sandwich in those circumstances. I frequently go to Caffe Nero and give DD food from M&S next door. No one has ever batted an eyelid. They're not losing out, I wouldn't buy her a Caffe Nero sandwich, she wouldn't eat it.

He has only just turned 3 and is still coming out of the back end of going from eating anything to living on the same 10 things. I just hope that ketchup counts as one of his 5 a day

I try to look at what he eats over the course of a week rather than panicking about day to day consumption, but it does make eating out problematic. Any suggestions gratefully received as often he will just look at something, declare it 'disgusting' and that's that.

So you went to a pub that your grandparents go in but not you, you sit down and get a sandwich out of your bag and give it to your child and you expect the NEW owners to know that a) you are related to a regular(why that matters i have no idea) and b) that you dont have the rest of a picnic there?

YABU - you wouldn't go to a restaurant and then get your own food out your bag would you? Snacks like raisins etc are different altogether.

"I try to look at what he eats over the course of a week rather than panicking about day to day consumption, but it does make eating out problematic. Any suggestions gratefully received as often he will just look at something, declare it 'disgusting' and that's that"

You have to be prepared to waste some food to get through this stage. You'll get at least 20 "yucks" before you get a "yum".

You also have to be prepared to let them go hungry in between meals if they dont try what you offered. "There's nothing more till dinnertime" etc.

Not meaning to throw your OP back at you because it might have been a one off but if you carry "safe" food around just in case he's hungry etc it will sabotage the whole operation. Let him be hungry. He's more likely to eat his dinner, whatever it is. And if he "wants something now", well, tough, you should have eaten your lunch.

This should work on most 3 year olds eventually.

It does seem a bit of an overreaction but you could have asked first.

YANBU! fair enough if you were all sat around having a picnic, but a 3 yr old having a bit of a sandwich ffs, i would said something along the lines of -

'well he wont eat the food you serve as he is 3 and fussy, perhaps we should leave and take our custom else where?'

I'd imagine the pub would have happily made him a cheese sandwich, had they been given the opportunity...

This makes me laugh, all of you with perfect 3yo's.

I go to cafe's with other Mum's who's kids sit and wait patiently and eat everything they are given. And there are kids who refuse to wait, scream, and won't eat anything they're given.

Being smug about your perfect children doesn't help most parents who just have difficult eaters.

If my dc didn't eat their lunch properly I would pack a few small soft cheese sarny's in case they got hungry later. Especially so if they were running around.

I wouldn't think twice about giving them a small bite of a snack and if I'd been spoken to like that I would have been most miffed.

We own a small business, it's hard times but you don't speak to people like that if you still want their custom.

Grandad goes in every day, we go in every week or so, just that this was the first (and last) time we'd been in since it changed hands.

You should have been more discreet with sandwich!

Not on really to eat your own food in a place that sells food ..they are businesses they have to make money ..a homemade sandwich for a child is okish ..a sandwich from another shop is a bit taking the piss really

Op would it have been so hard to be polite and ask? You have asked if YABU and some people have said yes, any second thoughts at all?

We always take a sandwich out with us for DS (5 next month). He decides he wants lunch at about 11am and eats as we are going round shops or in the car. Also, he can be a tricky eater. Usually if we go somewhere like Nerro's for lunch (like today) we would buy him a biscuit but we have never been told off for feeding him our own food! YANBU to be a bit at her attitude

Yes, I have already said I know I was wrong to do it, just didn't like the attitude and lack of generosity of spirit towards a small boy.

Next time I'll buy him full fat coke and a couple of packets of prawn cocktail crisps and watch him bounce off the walls

Personally, I think YANBU. The child is 3. If you were still doing it when he was 13, it would be a different matter!

YANBU - perfectly acceptable to give him a small child's sarnie, very rude of them. As it's your dad's local you may have to grit your teeth and go in again, make allowances for her having a bad day, but it doesn't sound like the new lot will be there for long with that unwelcoming attitude. Village fete afternoon too, they should have been on their best behaviour

YANBU.

I think it is (or should be) different rules for young children. I often give DS1 (21m) home-made food in cafes etc - partly for cost, partly because I want to be sure he gets something nutritious/that he likes/is veggie.