to want just a teeny tiny bit of space?

[undercovamutha]

I have been a mum for 4 years, so put all ideas of quiet, free-time, personal space, behind me about, umm, well, 4 years ago really .

But at the moment my 2 DCs seem to always be within 1 metre of wherever I am. Both of them (almost 4y and 16mo). Its getting ridiculous. I'm not talking about the usual not being able to go to the toilet on my own scenario. I actually can't even walk forward without asking them to move (which they do after a fashion, when they have finished what they are doing).

We haven't got a large house, but it isn't teeny, so why the hell can't they spread out to say 2 or 3 metres away from me. You know, just so I can actually move freely from the sink to the oven for example.

I am thinking of setting up some kind of cordon around me. Quite often, if I am stationary for more than a minute, DS just sits on my feet! Argh!

AIBU?

YANBU.

My best advice is to go to a large crowded place, at which point they will immediately decide to do a runner. Always works for me

I wish I could keep moving Octopus, but I'd just trip over them !

Use a stair gate across your kitchen doorway

Playpen. Even for the 4 year old!

OP, you made me laugh out loud!

I feel for you. I just have the one, but she keeps so close to me I sometimes feel I might as well surgically attach her to my hip and be done with the faffing. I almost trip over her about 50 times a day. She has a playroom and her own bedroom, but will she spend any time in there without me? Like hell she will!

lol at thamdagdog!!!!!

I feel your pain, mine are 2.8 and 4.5 and they are always, always following me. If I sit on the sofa they fight over who gets to sit on my lap, if I go into the kitchen they follow me carrying steps so they can 'help' me get myself a drink. I get them drinks and then they just stand in front of me drinking them.

DD2 likes to sit on my feet, wherever I am, that's nice.

I put on the telly earlier in the vain hope that I could sort some stuff on teh other side of the room, within 5 seconds they were climbing on me, rummaging and poking into the bags. grrr.

I work in a nursery with my own daughter who is 2, and she follows me at home and at nursery. I usually have my own entourage at nursery! My daughter has started calling me by my first name and continually pulling on my clotes as she has seen all the other kids doing it. It is quite difficult when you have about 6 of them doing it at the same time!

Have you read "five minutes peace" about poor Mrs Large trying to have a bath?

I used to read this a lot to mine when they were small. It didn't stop them from following me everywhere though.

If I ever do try to make a break for it into another room on my own, they develop super listening skills to follow my every move.

So if DD is watching TV in the living room, and I sneak into the kitchen to get myself a biscuit, DD shouts 'mummy, what you eating in there?'.

Surely she can't hear me crunching from 2 rooms away? She'd give Superman a run for his money!

OP I really know where you are coming from.
Lock yourself in loo for 5 mins...5 mins is better than nothing!

bananalover, if I lock the loo, dd just keeps banging on the door and repeating "Mum, mum, muu-uum" till I feel my brain oozing out of my ears. I never get to spend more than 20 seconds in a locked loo.

I really, really can feel your frustration.
I have one DC at school, one at nursery every afternoon, and one just started at same nursery 2 afternoons per week. Costs me a bloody arm and a leg, but its the only way I can get a couple of hours work in without interruptions all the time.
Can your 4 year old not go to nursery?
My DD started at 3 and she loves it.
My DS is nearly 2.5 and he adores playing with his big sis there. I thought he'd scream when I left him, but he doesn't even give me a wave....too busy having fun.

Oh I feel your pain undercova! Mine are exactly the same - today I popped into the garden to hang up one thing on the line, they'd already followed me out to the extent that when I hung it up, I almost tripped over one of them turning round to head back in! Aarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Are your DCs girls? Mine are, and I'm convinced girls are worse for being shadows.

No answers here, but lots of sympathy

stairgate on kitchen is best - safer too, They can sit and chat to you when your cooking without danger of pan of hot water etc.

4yo should be able to understand go to that end of lounge while I finish, if they don't stop what your doing go with them to the other end of the lounge and go back when they are distracted. They soon cotton on its quicker if they just let you get on with it!! quicker chores = more mummy time!!!

YANBU
I feel your pain. I have a DS 2.8 and a DD just 14 weeks and they will NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE. DD likes to be held [understatement of the year] - in fact her rear end is parked on the laptop as I type - and my DS is also "very physical", so on the rare occasion I manage to plonk her in her gym mat thingy it is then wrestling time according to my son.
Sometimes I just feel like yelling STOP TOUCHING ME!! Poor DH does't get a look in as by the end of the day my whole skin aches. I told my doctor when he asked about contraception that a child who refuses to sleep anywhere other than on top of my chest is the best contraception you'd ever get.
Phew - thanks for that - I obviously needed to vent there.

Argh! i remember that phase!

It'll pass! Can you get someone to sit with them for an hour or 2 so you can at the very least lie down in a darkened room?

I think boys are as bad as girls tbh, it's a child thing, not a boy or girl thing... DS would never let me out of his sight...

hugs and sympathy!

YANBU.

Stairgate on kitchen door + Cbeebies on in lounge / snacks in the garden = scoffing biscuits, ahem, cooking in peace .

It's hard to believe that they eventually develop into teenagers who don't want to be within a two-mile radius of you if there is a danger of meeting one of their friends!

I have the solution! (There, bet your ears perked up at that one....)

Enforced nap/quiet time for both of them - buy the goodnite clock and program it to how long they have to stay in their rooms after lunch; clock goes from blue to yellow to let them know it's time to get up (works in our house for the 3 year old, though obviously not for the baby - 3 months - still, some time with only one of them is better than all the time with two of them!)

Or, enforced TV time after lunch (whichever floats your boat and works for your family)

And I second nursery for your 4 year old... DS (3) will be off part time in the Autumn.... I am counting the hours weeks

stair gate on the kitchen has saved my sanity also have "traffic lights" on fridge door which can be seen from baby gate.

"red" means mummy is busy with the cooker or washing machine (or coffee.... )

"amber" means i'm almost done with whatever needing doing

"green" means the gate will open in 5 minutes and you can carry on smothering me.

DS1 (6) and DS2 (3) both understand the system and it does work