to feel bereft at non "mum" status?

[Honeywitch]

Two days ago I was a mumsnetter with the excited anticipation of being a mummy for the first time at 40.

Unfortunately our scan showed a missed mc at 8 weeks - I feel so annoyed that I am no longer a "proper mumsnetter" but a childless lady again.

I know it's really silly (cos I'm not that addicted to mumsnet!) but I feel so angry at this. Might be because I;m trying to be positive in other areas (good job, supportive family and friens), 7 siamese kittens... So am now going to rant.

HOW DARE MUMSNET BE FOR MUMS ANDS NOT FOR ME. APART FROM THE RUBBISH MISCARRIAGE THREAD THAT NOBODY GOES ON UNLESS THEY'VE LOST THEIR MUMMY STATUS TOO!!!

(That feels a bit better - I can't do angry at home - it might frighten the kittens.)

Ooh, am a burmese girl myself but they all sound yummy, would like to have a look at those cheeky kittens!

Maybe its time to switch to siamese? I like the sound of the one who might take off..........

And please take time to be upset with you dp, after the ivf and then a natural pg you are entitled to be sad, but also be happy that you can do it naturally too which is lovely. Also remember he might be a little bit gutted too and need to have a bit of a sob. So let yourselves,

One of mine once ate a set of panpipes... Very peculiar.

Hi Dropdeadfred - yes, it's a shame, quite a few of us have left that thread. I hope I'm the last.

Honeywitch, of course MN is for you, as everyone has said. Don't you dare let yourself think otherwise. I'm so sorry you have had such bad news.

lol at DorotheaPlenticlew

And Doodleydoo - Burmese rock - I have a red burmese who is 16 and is almost as playful as the kittens!

Right, off to bed, the ranting tired me out. DP is off down the pub with his best friend who has just flown in, so he will have a chance to offload. I didn't want to go because a bit crampy.

I think we will try and do something nice together tomorrow, instead of the usual weekend housework.

Of course you are a real mnetter. You don't have to be a mum to belong here.

Sorry about your m/c. I know what it is like to be so delighted and then have those hopes and dreams dashed. Take care and don't you dare go away.

I'm in a similar situation to you Honeywitch I stumbled across mumsnet after seeking some advice following my mc from my firt pregnancy and am pretty much addicted.

Although, I cant participate in any of the mummy/pregnancy/childbirth threads, it feels as though I have a "provisional mumsnetter licence". Desperatley waiting for the day that I graduate to a fully qualified mumsnetter!

You will mainly find me lurking round the conception threads for the time being.

Honeywitch There are a few non-mums on here (there's a first time frolickers thread in conception which we'd love to see you on), you aren't alone at all.

Sorry to hear about your MC

You are a mum, to that precious little one you lost! Keep the faith, we are all with you.

Mumsnet - for everyone who once upon a time ever had a mum.

Sorry for your loss.

Aww I know the feeling, I had a m/c at 9 weeks in Nov, and have been ttc since with no luck. We are fortunate to have a dd 3.4 which has softened the blow, keep trying. of course you are a MNetter don't be silly its for anyone who is either a parent or just interested in different child orientated issues .

Honeywitch - I am not a Mum either but definitley a MNetter. So are you.

Very sorry to hear about MC though. Been in the same horrible position before DCs for complicated reasons and it felt pretty unbearable at times.

Fingers crossed for you and DH/DP/BF next time.

I have frequented the m/c boards too, they can be a bit depressing but also very helpful too.

Sorry to hear your news.

Best advice - have a steamy, guarenteed-not-to-get-you-pg, night of shagging. That's what I did and it really reminded me of why we used to do it!!!

And cry/eat/buy a new kitten if you want. xxx

Really sorry to hear your news, Honeywitch.

You're a MN-er if you are here, especially if you are funny (which you are).

Also, YA (def) NBU to be feeling angry, hurt and just to be thoroughly fucked off with the world for a while. Miscarriage is horrible. It's the ultimate 'raising up your hopes, just to dash them in the most cruel way' experience, and I hope you are feeling better and stronger again soon. Good luck x

So sorry to hear about your MC

Sheesh, JasonThundrpants and his "keith" are considered MNers, so you're more than qualified.

Honeywitch, you know mumsnet is much more than being about a mum. But I appreciate why you are feeling so crap.

Is this your 1st miscarriage? Hopefully this was just 'one of those things' which I don't meant to sound flippant, but mean that hopefully it won't affect your chances of having another child.

Not a mummy. Am an MNer.

Was around here way before I even started thinking about children. Still dithering about whether or not, whether now is the right time etc

They let me stick around so you can definitely stay!

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage and if it counts my opinion is you are/have been a mummy. It's just that like some other MNers you've lost your only child