To dread having this baby!

[DuelingFanjo]

If it's born at night or at home apparently there's more chance of intervention or something going wrong.

Once it's born there's a high chance that I won't find breastfeeding easy and I will have cracked nipples, poor latch and mastitis.

Random people will shout at me in the street for breastfeeding and if I do decide to use formula people will look down their noses at me.

Arrrghhhh! make it stop!

Urgh! And just imagine the contempt you'll be in when your baby is a toddler and starts to indulge in toddler behaviour!

I'd sort out an adoption were I you.

Dont worry Dueling, you will be fine. It seems daunting but once baby's here you just do what is suitable for you and baby. If people want to be judgey then that is up to them, as long as you know that what you are doing is in baby's best interests.

Breastfeeding is difficult, some people crack it after a few weeks and some never do - its just one of those things. Good luck

Welcome to Motherhood. Nothing you do from now on will be the right thing, everyone will have an opinion on everything you do (up to and including when/if you use the bathroom etc).

On the other hand, the moment you get your arms around a warm, slimy baby, you think you might explode with the awesomeness of it all.

If you do the best you can for your kids they will be fine.

...and I don't know why you're called DuellingFanjo.

I think TornandneedstobestichedFanjo would be more appropriate!

oh yeah, and I forgot...

that old standard... the next 18 years are worse

The bit nobody can tell describe is the amazing feeling looking at your own child gives you.

So they just tell you all the shit bits

I am in the fortunate position of not being scared shitless about the birth - yet!

But feel like I am on my way to being!

Oh dear!

Just realised that your baby is REALLY due in December ad that this may not be a joke.

Sorry! [grovel]

Um! By way of making up for it. Humans tend to go into labour at night in our own homes as animanls don't go into labour until they feel safe.

Your most likely to have intervention if you consent to one intervention (So don't have that first one).

You don't necessarily tear when you give birth.

Stay on your feet or in an upright position for your best chance of natural birth.

I'm feel like such a heel!

• thanks Easywriter. I am sure it'll all be fine and will float out on a cloud of cotton wool in the middle of the day while I am in the birthing pool, like it's supposed to! That's what I am putting in my birth plan anyway.

breastfeeding is OK if you get off to a good start, ie skin to skin, get help with latch early if its not right, try to avoid bottles and top ups. Most cases of sore nipples I see are caused by poor latch, and baby has had a dummy/bottle at some point in the first few days. If you need to top up ask your MW about cup feeds, and above all, trust your body to make the milk.
Anyhow, YANBU its bloody scary having a small person inside, even scarier when they come out. But it gets easier.

I'm sure it will be.

By the way it's not only natural to go into labour at night but I'm sure that it's just as safe to deliver at night. If it isn't, then it's probably just statistics. If you had more details about the births it may give a different picture.

Despite some of the awful stuff (that I've been horrible enough to) mention on here, whatever happens, you'll forget it all when you hold the gorgeous wee person you've helped to create.

And that feeling doesn't go away!

I'm really so sorry, I honestly thought this thread was posted in jest!

I agree with Morloth.

And no-one has all the bad things that can go wrong.

no worries - it was kind of in jest! All the scary threads make me and then I have to slap myself in the face to stop myself from worrying!

it's a doddle dueling....you feel a tad uncomfrotable (but not enough to distract you from your magazines and energy drink) then cough lightly and out pops a baby.

Seriously though, it's not that bad. I can honestly say I enjoyed giving birth to DD2 (and not cos I did any of that hypnobirthing twaddle either!)

As for feeding, don't stress about it. If bf works great, if not it doesn't matter. Chill.

Best advice I can give is to avoid the internet [and books written by 'child experts].You'll probably find you get on much better and be much happier, without it, as we all used to be.

I know how you feel but I look at it this way - I'm over 6 months pregnant now and not ONE of the things I was dreading about pregnancy has actually happened to me.

I haven't been sick.

I haven't felt tired.

I haven't felt tearful.

Nobody has demanded to know 'do you know what it is'.

Nobody has rudely shoved their hands on my bump.

Nobody has mentioned my age or wanted to know how many I'm planning to have.

My mother and MIL have both behaved beautifully so far.

DP is being wonderful and helpful.

Work have been great.

I don't look pregnant anywhere apart from my bump and boobs.

etc, etc, etc.

All of which leads me to think that maybe, some of the 'givens' about having a baby aren't actually given at all.

What about the 'easy pregnancy = nightmare baby' myth, Morris?

JOKING!!!!!

it's not all that bad, it's not easy, but it's amazing, and I'm prouder of giving birth to and feeding DD than I am of anything else I've ever done. I seriously felt like superwoman when DD was about 5months - I made and entirely sustained this human being, I could do ANYTHING!

her being utterly gorgeous and that feeling of invincibility made up for all the rubbish bits many times over.

DOH!

Actually I have a plan B in that eventuality. Phone the MIL and sod off somewhere quiet

BTW I have had three babies all at the weekend (one sat, one sun and one bank hol monday) with no problems or medical intervention, and have breastfed them all. In public too. And they have all slept all night by 10 weeks.

Ignore it all!

I thought you meant you had them all last weekend, MumNW

Morris

You are so NOT allowed to come on here and talk about such a cool pregnancy!!!!!!

I'm not even a little bit

really..

Sorry mamsnet - no doubt the fates are waiting for me!

OP

Your posting name has always cracked me up so I feel morally obliged to tell you that...

I have never ever been so happy as since I am a mother.

Nobody or nothing can prepare you for how much you love them.

The moment where you are handed your new baby can not be described with words.

Birth is not nearly so bad as it's often made out to be.

Stitches, if you have them, usually heal quickly enough.

I had very few problems BFing (sorted in days) and did so for almost 2 years.

I have never had anything but support and admiration for my (often quite public) BFing.

Neither I nor anybody I know have had any trace of PND.

My first baby had colic. It was shite. It passed.

Toddlers are hilarious.

The fog lifts. Eventually. And out emerges a much better person.

The nature of sites like this is that you hear a disproportionate number of bad stories. There is no reason on earth why you will have any of those problems.

And if you do, you will be so happy with your baby that you'll get over it!

Good luck! And enjoy, enjoy, enjoy..

Dueling,

I forgot to be terrified about having my baby until I was in the delivery suite. I did, however, worry incessantly that I wouldn't be able to bf.

Birth was fine (on a Saturday night), no intervention necessary. Yeh, it hurts, but you get over that once your beautiful baby is put in your arms.

MW helped baby latch on straight away after birth, so bf ended up being fine. I made a point to bf in public very early on (2 wks after birth), so I would get used to it. Trust me, after the first time, the rest are a doddle.

Just remember, if you can bf, great. If you can't, great, give the baby formula and get your OH to do night feeds . Either way, all that matters is that baby gets fed.

Good luck!