please help - advice please

[poopeeplops]

Hi looking for anyone in the same boat, i have just had a 'back to work meeting' and a 'better off' meeting at job centre and it turns out i would be worse off if i returned to work!

I dont have any support from baby's dad so its just me and my income, I love my job but physically couldnt do it unless i live in a tiny place , centre of london and never see my child for childcare and even then it works out im in minus figures already according to 'better off' meeting.

Im happy to leave work but never thought i would be living solely on benefits and have always paid my way and worked 60-90 hrs a wk as it was my dream job and now i have to scrap it all, dont get my wrong i adore my baby and would gladly do this but it doesnt make it any easier to swallow. Anyone else here living on benefits - whats it like? is there light at then end of the tunnel to return to a good job in the future???

i guess you could look into other jobs? or would it make a difference if you could work part-time?

i don't think there is anything wrong with being on benefits. they are there for people who need them, and when you've had your baby you'll need them

it does seem a shame that you'll have to give up work if you'd rather carry on though

I've always liked the idea of people in this situation making use of any free study opportunities (I think you can get it paid, and childcare etc) and qualify to do better paid work, and do this once your child is approaching school age having requalified. But I dont know what you do for a job - it might be that you are already qualified in one of the lesser paid but worthwhile vocations.

However if you are just struggling to earn more due to skills/qualifications would this be worth considering as a longer term plan?

Have you enquired about working part time. If you work 16 hours you will be entitled to tax crdits which might make all the difference to your income. They will also help with childcare costs.
Seems a shame to give up a job you love so this might be the perfect solution.

I would have to work in london adni couldnt afford to live there, i was an events manager and im a qualified childcare nursery nurse/manager, but love my new career. Just finding it really hard to see how i could earn more on 16hrs a week of pay?! im really confuesd.

I have been told by someone in the advice service that sometimes the JCplus people give duff advice - really its true. get a second opinion from your council's advice service or the CAB.
also you could move?
and why does your baby's dad not contribute? if he can, maybe you should let him / demand it. Not for you, for your baby.
If you really can't manage to get back to full time work, can you come to an informal arrangement with another parent to share childcare to free you up a bit of time each week for some study or voluntary work - just to keep your hand in.
this is a very precious time and it will fly past, if you can manage to settle into it you might be glad you stayed with your baby - but find a way to carve out some time to interact with adults and feel that you're contributing, it sounds like you need that.

thanx dream lady, dad wont contribute, i have asked and he keeps dodging it. I do want to stay wiv baby but just feel like im giving up too soon and that i should be doing more to stay in work but i really cant think of a way to make it easy for both of us and enjoyable

Have a look on www.entitledto.com
You can put in different scenarios ie working 16 hrs/ 30 hrs/ not at all and it will give you an idea of how much help you'll get.

I'd agree with the ladies above you say about working part time.

I work 20 hours a week and get help towards my childcare and some CTC
I was asked to go full time but, after talking to job center and my works advice line I found out that i would be much worse off working full time [confussed]

I'm already worse off working than I would be on benefits however, for me It's about more than that. I am proud to go to work [ and I love my job] and it shows my DD that I am more than just a mum.

Saying that Childcare and housing in London is a killer. I can not wait to move further out in the next few months.

I think you have to think laterally. It's not a straight choice between 'work' and 'benefits'. If your dream job is something that requires very long hours, living in a very expensive area and is incompatible with childcare then see if you can side-step into a different role within a similar organisation... something 9 - 5 or part-time, office-based rather than out in the field.

Or consider a change in career or take advantage of an opportunity to retrain. Some jobs are very difficult to do when you have access to full-time childcare (nursery/childminder) and they don't get any easier when your child goes to school and you have to manage around holidays and inset days. So if you think ahead and find something more flexible now then you're better placed for the future.

Exogenesis is right... it is about more than just the money.

See if you can get some career counselling, or get a book like "What colour is my parachute?" And work through what you enjoyed about your last job? What are your priorities for work/life balance? And so on.

You should also look into getting the authorities to make the father pay.

Good luck!