What's your initial reaction to this story?

[chaosisawayoflife]

I don't know if my campacity for compassion has been adversely affected by forums/trolls etc, so please tell me what your initial reaction would be to reading this story on a forum.

Most of this is posted by the husband.

Mother currently in hospital having given birth to 4th child 2 months early.

Father concerned about 3rd child, temp etc. Eventually takes him to hospital, diagnosed with meningitis.

Father's brother dies in a car accident.

It's the 2nd anniversary of his father's death and 7th anniversary of sister's death. Dead brother's wife died 6 months ago.

Later on same day or possibly next day 3rd child with meningitis dies.

This is all posted about immediately, by either father or mother. Also in the middle of this there is a change of heart about new babies name and they ask advice on what to name her.

What is your gut reaction to hearing this?
AIBU to be screaming troll at my computer?

[Gigantaur]

will it be very naughty of me to go over and post

"oh what terrible terrible news. I am so sorry for your loss...of credibility. your a sdad fucker who gets enjoyment from teh outpourings of grief from genuine mothers. I hope you enjoy every day of your pathetic virginity you socially inept cunt"

or is that a bit strong?

[chaosisawayoflife]

A troll is someone who posts deliberately inflammatory or shocking posts. There's lots of history of them, and some seriously shocking ones doing the rounds. People who really got other users sucked in to their stories and sending money etc to them. I'm sure others will be along to post links to stories of some of the worst ones, but generally they are just attention-seeking or inflammatory.

[chaosisawayoflife]

Hmmm Gigantaur, potentially a little strong for the sensitive souls over there.

[smallorange]

look

what if it is true?

Who's the cunt then? eh?

[Gigantaur]

if thats true i will eat my own vagina

[catinthehat2]

Has someone appeared yet to ask what a troll is?

[paisleyleaf]

I've just found it. No one's being sucked in too badly - just hugs etc as chaos says. Nobody's sending them any money or anything or getting that emotionally involved. Just a hug then moving on to chatting elsewhere on the forum.

[smallorange]

((hugz)) Gigantaur

[ItsGraceActually]

In my (fairly extensive) experience on forums, Mumsnet is actually the worst for screeching "troll" at people going through horrendous trauma. The only one that was as bad was Handbag (RIP) - I'm fairly sure I recognise some Handbag stalwarts here, though not saying they're the troll-hunters.

People do weird shit when they're distresed. Many people, myself included, find it easier to confide our feelings in writing so the internet is a natural outlet.

What about that woman who tweeted about her baby was drowning? She had called emergency first, but Twitter was what she did when she was frantic. Some people are cool & collected in a crisis, some run round in ever-decreasing circles, and some ... tweet, evidently. The way she was vilified by the media was very ugly. (The baby was OK.)

Distraught people need compassion. If there's some reason why you don't feel a certain poster deserves compassion, don't offer any. But don't rant at them. If there's even the tiniest chance you may be ranting at somebody in the worst pit of despair, then you're doing something utterly despicable.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

Hang on a sec? Someone tweeted that her child was drowning?

[PeachesandStrawberry]

Have any of you who think that they may be trolls been through what they have been through?

How would you know how to react in similar circumstances?

The last thing that they need is people doubting them.

This site has a habit of jumping on people and calling them trolls.

If they are why don't you leave them alone and they will go away.

[Gigantaur]

erm - who has posted??

from what i can see no one has. sorry to knock you from that ivory tower

[PeachesandStrawberry]

Oooooh!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just cannot believe that this thread is even here!

[ChickensHaveNoEyebrows]

I wouldn't believe it tbh. Having been through some quite traumatic events, I doubt that in reality you'd be able to function well enough to keep the internet updated.

[PortiaNovmerriment]

It is truly staggering what some people have to deal with. Just incredible.

[Gigantaur]

yeah. living a life that leaves you so desperate for attention yo are willing to make up such a crock of shite just to get a few ((hugs)) off some strangers.

man s/he must be seriously fucked up

and just how fucking dim are the posters on there that they fall for this bollaux

[ItsGraceActually]

Well, I'm not on netchums so haven't seen the thread in question. I have seen people on this site, whom I believe absolutely, being attacked for (afaics) having such horrible things happen to them that others think they must be making it up.

It can be a very harsh world. The people who get the sharp end of it, most often, are people with little real support offline.

[fernie3]

this would be one of those posts I ignore, its either not true in which case I wouldnt want to waste my time on it OR it is true and too depressing and difficult to comment on. I would be leaning heavily towards untrue on this one!

[PeachesandStrawberry]

Why would people make up a story about losing a child?

You would have to be seriously fucked in the head.

Oh and Gigantaur

It's called compassion.

[peeringintothevoid]

I'm interested that this gets thoroughly discussed - topic being a post on another website that discusses intimate and distressing details (which are quoted verbatim) - when a recent thread that talked about a thread (on another website) which discussed possible child abuse, was roundly and vociferously flamed.

I have no overwhelming opinion on either thread/topic, but the hypocrisy struck me.

[AgentZigzag]

Unfortunately Peaches there are lots of people who are 'seriously fucked in the head' with mental health issues.

TBH, if they're having such a hard time that the sympathy they get from making up an incredibly inappropriate story on a forum makes them feel better, then I would post.

But then it demeans the real life experiences people have had to live through, so it's a difficult one.

[PeedOffWithNits]

people make up stories about losing a child (and all sorts of other disasters, rape, abuse etc) all the time, sadly - it is extreme attention seeking behaviour

they are very sad cases

the problem is they are not harmless - many a time genuine caring people wishing to try to help out of compassion, have been sucked in and taken for a ride, often pouring out their own stories and left feeling used and vulnerable and less likely to try to help someone again

[lisad123isgoingcrazy]

well some families get a lot of bad luck, mine included but all in that space of time

[PeedOffWithNits]

and in answer to the OP, the thread you are talking about smells decidedly fishy to me and though I would initially have been supportive/helpful, as it unrolled I would have left quietly and said no more - it is unbelievable - not that someone could be so unlucky, but that in those circumstances they would be anything other than utterly flawed and UNABLE to cary on any sort of coherent online convo, WHY would you?? how COULD you??

friends child was in hosp with meningitis - it was all they could manage to phone close family and friends

[lisad123isgoingcrazy]

all I managed when DH was sick was a load of texts and then came on here in evening. When DD2 was in hospital I stayed there the whole time and nly sent texts to close friends and family.