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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be quite surprised?

23 replies

waitingimpatiently · 15/07/2010 13:46

I was watching that extreme breastfeeding last night and there was this group of women group bfing and LOADS of people had a massive problem with it, to the extent of people shouting at them!
Is this what I can expect if I try to feed my baby in public? I don't want to be shouted at but I also want to be able to feed my child wherever and whenever I need to.
Is this normal behaviour from people and AIBU to feel a bit more reluctant of bfing now I've seen it??

OP posts:
Bestb411pm · 15/07/2010 13:50

YABunderstandablyU.

If a group of women where making a point by doing it in a large group it just invites others to be argumentative about it - it's the nature of protesting to invite opinion.

Generally people don't give a stuff about people going about doing their own thing.

Example: Some people don't like full on snogging in public but generally keep their thoughts to themselves - if there was a big group of couples making a point of snogging in public they're guarenteed to get jeered.

lynnexxxo · 15/07/2010 13:50

I have bf all four of my children in public (even when they were toddlers - ds2 fed until he was nearly two and not once did i have any negative comments.

And I don't live in a posh area at all.

I think people making comments are few and far between, and thats why they get reported in the press.

EasilyConfusedIndith · 15/07/2010 13:51

Don't worry I can count on half a hand the number of times people I know in real life have had anything negative at all said/any dirty looks and that includes people bf older children in public. I have never had naything bad directed at me with either of mine.

Yes, it does happen and if you look around on here you can probably find quite a few tales but remember you only hear about the negative things, you don't here about the millions of times that nobody has said anything.

The best thing you can do is just be confident and get on with it. Chances are nobody will bat an eyelid.

SprogletCooking · 15/07/2010 13:55

Didnt see the programme but I've bf DS out and about and I've never encountered any problems. we have done the usual cafes/pub/restaurants but also parks, playgroups, shops, council offices and everywhere really.

If people have noticed they have only ever smiled or given positive comments.

Don't let this put you off trying if you want to!

spanxaremyonlyfriend · 15/07/2010 13:56

I've breastfed all 3 of my dcs lots in public and I've never experienced any negativity. I've also bottlefed in public and had no reaction to that either but other bottlefeeders have reported hostility towards bottlefeeding. I have twice had people tell me off for feeding my baby mush instead of fingerfood .

biddysmama · 15/07/2010 13:56

was it the one that had the little angels woman on it? breastfeeding in the accrington/blackburn area?

MathsMadMummy · 15/07/2010 13:57

you'll be fine. if you're that worried apparently it's good to practise feeding baby in front of a mirror, you'll be surprised how little you expose!

I've fed both mine and no comments at all. if I'm feeding in public I just smile and that gives me an air of confidence

rastababi · 15/07/2010 13:59

Like others have said, the comments do tend to be few and far between. I BF both DC, we we're always out and about, have BF in all sorts of odd places! I've never had a negative comment, but I've had several nods, winks and smiles from other mums and little ol' dears

Marjee · 15/07/2010 15:42

I bf my ds anywhere and have never had any negative reaction. I didn't see the programme but I assume they were trying to provoke a reaction. If anyone dared comment on me bfing my baby I'd just say "don't look then." I really think you are worrying about nothing, I see loads of women wearing really low cut tops showing loads more than I do when I bf and they don't get shouted at either.

pjmama · 15/07/2010 15:44

The only comment I ever had when I was bf-ing in public was a very nice positive one. It's easy to be very discreet when feeding in public anyway, just a muslin cloth draped over your shoulder and the baby is enough usually. Most people don't even notice IME. Don't let it put you off.

lazarusb · 15/07/2010 15:45

The only person who was negative about me bf was my mil (strictly a bottle mummy. I bf in public and I actually received very positive comments about it.

cfc · 15/07/2010 15:48

If I remember correctly, they were protesting as another poster said, and I reckon were inviting comment.

I BF our first and will with the next - we did it everywhere we needed to. And not once did I receive a negative comment, only ever positive comments and looks.

iamanewmum31 · 15/07/2010 16:09

No one cares when you BF. People mind their own business. Friend of mine have had comments made FF their babies! The media like to 'sensationalise' BF as so many adverts are paid by the formula companies.

iamanewmum31 · 15/07/2010 16:11

Sorry. I meant 'friends' of mine.

iamanewmum31 · 15/07/2010 16:12

And 'when they FF'.

LifeOfKate · 15/07/2010 16:38

I saw the programme. I would say that they were in a particularly unusual situation, in that there were quite a few of them bfing as a 'protest', the camera crew were there, they had invited the local press as well, it was in an area with not very high bfing rates, and whilst there is absolutely nothing wrong with extended breastfeeding, most of the women were feeding toddlers, which I think more people find difficult to see in public than people feeding babies.

I have been bfing DS for 7 months now and have never had any attention at all, negative or otherwise.

It did make me when that man said it was 'indecent' for women to be 'showing off' their breasts in public
Although I did ROFL at the man who was so completely clueless, he said that women shouldn't bf as you don't know whether 'paedofiddliers' might be watching Ah, I'm chuckling all over again

heymango · 15/07/2010 16:47

Never had any negative comments either, but there is definitely more of a stigma attached to feeding older children in public. (Didn't see programme, was it with older children?)

Morloth · 15/07/2010 17:04

Sitting around in a group with a camera crew is a bit different to just feeding the baby as and when.

Not had a single negative comment and have BF everywhere.

nagoo · 15/07/2010 17:08

Have bf anywhere I needed to and never got any reaction don't be put off!

biddysmama · 15/07/2010 17:14

ive just had a google and it is the one filmed in blackburn.... thats where i live and ive only had funny looks and points etc since ive been noticably pregnant and breastfeeding my toddler in public

iamfabregasted · 15/07/2010 17:15

I fed 2 out of my 4.

The only comment I had ever, when BF DS2 (who is now 18) was from an old lady who came up to me when I was trying to feed him as unobtrusively as possible in a cafe when out with my friend for coffee. And she was lovely, said how nice it was to see someone young like me BF (well I was in those days)

hairytriangle · 15/07/2010 17:18

Breast feeding is entirely natural, I intend to if I'm lucky enough to have a child. And anyone who has a problem with me doing it can go f**k themselves.

Lovely anecdote: I was having lumch with my sil and neice, and a woman came and coo'ed and said 'and what a lucky girl to be breast fed'

That's the attitude society in general should have, it should be seen for what it is -beautiful

biddysmama · 15/07/2010 17:40

Oh yeah, the breastfeeding group little angels, the women in blackburn has closed down now due to lack of funding which is a shame because i know a few mums that wouldnt have managed without them

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