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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know you will all say "OH Saltire, YABU" but I don't care

18 replies

Saltire · 14/07/2010 17:50

We have had the wedding of the decade, been to it spent a fortune uneccesarily.
Anyway, MIl sent me a link to the official wedding photos today.
There are, obv,lots of brida party, and lots of the parents.
Then Each and every one of the grooms aunts and uncles/cousins are photographed with the bride and groom,a dn in their own family group. Each of SIL's cousins on her mums side (MIL is Step MIL) are on photos, then there's SMIL and FIls friends, in couples with the bride and groom, and then loads of otehr random guests.

Except us.. I aksed the photographer if he would do a fmaily shot fo teh 4 of us, as I thought my own mum would like one, he said "oh I'm just paid to take the wedding party and I'm only booked for 3 hours and that's nearly up". yet he had taken photos of every other guest

OP posts:
Original poster
Saltire · 14/07/2010 17:51

So, AIBU to be annoyed (bearing in mind that attending the wedding has skint us , cost us nearly £800)

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 14/07/2010 17:55

Well, couldn't you have got someone else to take a photo of you - then you wouldn't have to pay any more money?

YANBU to be a bit annoyed that you were the only ones left out, especially since you asked the photographer nicely.

TheMoonOnAStick · 14/07/2010 17:56

YADNBU! The photos are one of the most expensive things about getting married - he should have give you exactly what you wanted

I always thought the photo with the parents and/or inlaws was one of the standard ones taken.

Original poster
Saltire · 14/07/2010 17:57

jamie - well we did get other people to take photos, but that's not the point - at least not IMO anyway. In fact, SMIL and FILs photos that they took with their cameras are quite telling too, a few with DH on, none at all with me or the DSes, load on SMILs of her neices and nephews, loads on FIls of SMIL and her neices!

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Original poster
Saltire · 14/07/2010 17:58

and SIl is now huffing with me because I said "oh your photos are lovely, but erm there's none of us, so we won't buy any"

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SloanyPony · 14/07/2010 17:58

If you were not the one that booked the photographer and paid for it, then YABU, you know you are, though its frustrating if there is one of every other lot.

My MIL did this on our wedding day - she grabbed the photographer and said "can I borrow you to do some of my family over here in this garden" and he (thankfully, or he wouldn't have got paid!) said "sorry, I have lots to do yet, I'll let you know when you are needed".

Cheeky cow.

ajandjjmum · 14/07/2010 17:58

I'd be well hacked off as well. At least you won't have to spend more money on overpriced photos!

Jamieandhismagictorch · 14/07/2010 17:59

Oh I see - this is a SIL thread ......

traceybath · 14/07/2010 18:00

YABU - If I was the bride I'd have been annoyed at guests asking the photographer to take photos of them.

Normally the photographer has a list from the bride and groom of which photos to take.

Original poster
Saltire · 14/07/2010 18:01

It wasn't our wedding, we were guests, it was SIls wedding. My list of complaints about the whole bloody thing are on here, somewhere for anyone to read. Like the hotel costing us £400 a night for 2 nights, because FIL I need my oldest child with me insisted we stayed. Or the cost of £80 for a feckin BBQ the night before, or the fact that DH had to cough up £75 for a kilt, SMIL telling me "you cna't wear a maxi dress, we don't people thinking you are a bridesmaid"

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SloanyPony · 14/07/2010 18:02

Oh good lord there is no way I'd discuss my outfit with them if they are like that...thats a cheek and all.

traceybath · 14/07/2010 18:03

Oh your other issues are completely vaild though

squeaver · 14/07/2010 18:03

Oh was that the wedding where the hotel has a dress code??

hocuspontas · 14/07/2010 18:03

I thought that wedding photographers danced a jig if you said you would like a group shot. It's all extra money.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 14/07/2010 18:03

Bridezilla + SIL is a great MN combination Haven't read your other threads, Saltire, because I tend to avoid wedding ones. I just don't get it

TrillianAstra · 14/07/2010 18:14

Why would you buy the photos anyway, when you had been told not to wear what you wanted to wear?

Can see why you are annoyed, but YABU to have even considered buying the pics and thereby validating their choices and pushiness.

Original poster
Saltire · 14/07/2010 18:15

Trill - I know, but we've never had a nice family shot taken of us, and we thought that my mum and MIL (MIL< not SMIL) would like one

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TrillianAstra · 14/07/2010 18:18

So take your own nice family shot, wearing what you want to wear, in your garden on a sunny day, with a friend or neighbour roped in. It's not difficult anymore - get a regular digital camera and ask them to take about 100 shots, in one of them you might all be facing the right way with your eyes open or even smiling. The 'professional' photographer would have taken 3 shots and you know you would have discovered that one of the DCs had a snotty nose or something afterwards.

(can't remember how old your children are but I have a feeling that snotty noses extend pretty far up the age range)

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