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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have offered her a nappy

19 replies

biddysmama · 14/07/2010 12:34

a mum and toddler came to baby group, mum didnt have a bag with her and her toddler had obviously poo'd, (sat next to me so it definately was her) after half an hour i said " do you want one of my nappies? ive got spares?" she said no, looked at me like i was the one that shat in the kids nappy and left the kid in the shitty nappy for anothe hour and half...

did i cross some kind of boundary? i've forgotten to pick my changing bag up loads of times, no big deal or was she just wierd

OP posts:
mumblechum · 14/07/2010 12:37

Either

A She has a cold and couldn't smell the baby's nappy

or

B She'd left her changing bag elsewhere in the room and wondered if you were some sort of freak, as you didn't specifically say that her kid had shat itself

or

C (more likely), a combination of the above.

scurryfunge · 14/07/2010 12:37

She sounds daft

booyhoo · 14/07/2010 12:38

i probably would have done the same as you.

if i had forgotten my bag i would have been so grateful if someone was able to give me a spare nappy.

mumofthreesweeties · 14/07/2010 12:39

YANBU, this happened to me when I had my first DC and would have been relieved for someone to offer a nappy. She sounds pretty rude

compo · 14/07/2010 12:40

I would have said 'i'm pretty sure your baby has got a dirty nappy'

anonacfr · 14/07/2010 12:44

YANBU.

Maybe she was embarrassed at being caught unprepared but she could have just thanked you and moved on.

I got caught with a DS toddler pooey nappy while taking my daughter to ballet. It's only a half hour class so I let said DS roam around (as far away from people as poss ) for 20 mns with a dirty nappy on.

As we were leaving a mum noticed the smell (they were a few toddlers around). I owned up and she offered me one of her spare nappies. I turned her down as we were on the way home and only live 5 mns walk away but made sure to thank her profusely. I thought it was a really nice gesture.

No boundary there as far as I know. She was being weird.

tethersend · 14/07/2010 12:56

"looked at me like i was the one that shat in the kids nappy"

You should have said "No- I mean for you"

Firawla · 14/07/2010 12:59

No yanbu
thats quite that someone would leave their child in a dirty nappy for 2 hours for the baby group, i would have thought someone else would have said something too, especially one of the people in charge?
if i was in that situation i would have been grateful and taken the nappy, otherwise you would have to start asking people or go home, leaving them in it and just ignoring is quite a strange choice, they may get nappy rash
if she didnt notice @ first you would think she would check after your comment

OTTMummA · 14/07/2010 13:17

im suprised the toddler didn't make a fuss, my DS has never liked having a pooey nappy and will moan until he is in a fresh one again.
I wouldn't of even waited to be offered one i would of asked lol.

pjmama · 14/07/2010 13:31

I once offered a spare old tshirt to a lady in a play centre whose child had been sick down theirs. She bit my head off and then took her child out into the snow naked from the waist upwards. There are some very odd folk about who don't seem to be able to accept help from strangers!

prozacfairy · 14/07/2010 16:50

YANBU. Some people need to learn some manners.

I once offered a mum in a baby changing room a spare nappy for her newborn. She seemed to have taken the dirty nappy off and then realised she didn't have a clean one, poor girl looked like she was gonna cry! Was very grateful though despite the nappy being 2 sizes to big (DD was about 6 months old at the time).

slushy · 14/07/2010 16:56

I have forgot my bag once ds poohed I asked one of the ladies( was actually wondering if she would mind) so YANBU what a strange lady .

sushistar · 14/07/2010 16:58

She was rude, but we could charitably put it down to shyness? Usually if someone has done a nappy there are lotts of siffing and checking of bottoms until the mum wakes up and realises it's her little one. Maybe she diddn't click her kid was dirty?

SloanyPony · 14/07/2010 17:00

She might have been really passive agressive and felt you were telling her what to do and had her bag tucked away in a corner somewhere and thought "I'll show her" and decided to make you smell it for the next 90 minutes as "punishment"...

HecateQueenOfWitches · 14/07/2010 17:01

Well, clearly when you said "do you want one of my nappies, I've got spares" what she heard was "my god woman, you are a shit mother. Your baby stinks and you haven't even got one nappy with you? Why aren't you changing that baby. I am so prepared I have loads more than I need. You are a Bad Mother. I judge thee."

I've found that funny things like that happen to sentences between speaker's mouth and receiver's ear.

FindingMyMojo · 14/07/2010 17:06

how could you leave a baby in a pooey nappy for that long?

diamondsandtiaras · 14/07/2010 17:07

maybe she genuinely hadn't noticed that he had pooed and was wondering why on earth you were asking I have a particularly bad nose when it comes to pooey nappies.......never notice it until other mums start picking their DCs up and sniffing their bums then shaking their heads

nickelbabe · 14/07/2010 17:09

pjmama - for a sec i thought you meant the old lady went out in the snow naked from the waist up!
you meant the child, i hope!

ScentedLovePuff · 14/07/2010 20:29

YANBU - you were being kind-hearted

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