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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not answer my door to a couple of youths?

26 replies

MadameCheese · 13/07/2010 22:35

...who then think they are within their rights to come into my garden to look for their ball! Luckily DH who had been out popped back and I told him I'd seen the perishers go round the side of the house. He investigated and saw someone jump over the fence . He told them it was not on and they thought because no-one was in it was ok? He did get the ball for them though

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 13/07/2010 22:38

so they knocked to ask you??

whats a 'youth'....age group wise

clemetteattlee · 13/07/2010 22:40

They knocked to ask your permission - why didn't you answer? Were you busy or had you pre-judged?
I don't think they did anything wrong on the face of it.

Giddyup · 13/07/2010 22:44

Why did DH have to go and investigate? how terrifying were these Youths?

mummysgoingmad · 13/07/2010 22:44

oh no did they have a hoddie on and were listening to that rapper music!!

Poshwellies · 13/07/2010 22:45

Laughs at 'perishers'

YABU.

Original poster
MadameCheese · 13/07/2010 22:46

they looked about 16, tbh they looked like nice lads but I wouldn't normally answer my door at 9pm anyway, I know it's still light. Doesn't give them the right to look round my garden as they hadn't obtained my permission.

OP posts:
2shoes · 13/07/2010 22:46

yanbu
only cos we have has shits kids jump ove(ok climb) our 6 ft back fence, ruining plants, rather than knock on the door.

Original poster
MadameCheese · 13/07/2010 22:47

perishers is a joke btw

OP posts:
clemetteattlee · 13/07/2010 22:48

Genuinely interested - why wouldn't you answer the door at night?

Original poster
MadameCheese · 13/07/2010 22:55

unfortunately we live next to the village hall and there's been stuff going in the car park and in the woods behind. I've also had the fence kicked in loads of bottles thrown into the garden so yes I'm probably making a snap decision but I'd rather not open my door when I'm on my own I have no close neighbours. Plus the lads said they'd lost the ball yesterday, why didn't they ask for it then?

OP posts:
Shallishanti · 13/07/2010 23:03

maybe they tried to ask yesterday but you were out/refusing to answer the door, so they waited, tried again and finally decided they wanted their ball back and would try and get it.
Not unreasonable, if something of mine was in someone else's garden and I couldn't ask them if they minded me getting it...I'd probably just go and get it.

why not answer the door??

Original poster
MadameCheese · 13/07/2010 23:23

Ha, you lot are hilarious! You obviously think it's ok to walk into someones garden without permission. Incidentally I did this once and got called a paedophile! (I'd never do it again) I also haven't got a problem with young people btw I was just a bit freaked out that's all

OP posts:
KickArseQueen · 13/07/2010 23:29

You walked into someones garden and got caled a paedophile??? What were you doing???

clemetteattlee · 13/07/2010 23:29

Next time, if you see a ball in your back garden that doesn't belong there, just leave it on the front doorstep and then they don't need to bother you. Most days I throw at least three tennis balls bak over the fence (three cricket mad boys next door).

GypsyMoth · 13/07/2010 23:31

freaked out?

why?

they tried to obtain permission....but you wouldnt answer

a postman tries to deliver a parcel....but you wont answer....would he be wrong to search for somewhere safe to leave a parcel??

not like they're casing the joint is it

Giddyup · 13/07/2010 23:37

It does sound like they may have already popped round to get the ball, and after trying to ask for it back more than once decided they should just grab it back. I don't think thats really too out of order myself.

Surely it is better to be out playing sport than indoors or causing trouble? (I sound really old).

Original poster
MadameCheese · 13/07/2010 23:39

a postman doesn't ring at 9pm does he? How do I know what they want to ask anyway? (By answering the door ) The ball was under a hedge, so difficult to find. I walked past an open farm gate a noticed their rabbits' water bottle had fallen off, shouldn't have taken it upon myself to sort this out...

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 13/07/2010 23:41

i think you need a bit of perspective......bit ott about a couple of lads

SolidGoldBrass · 13/07/2010 23:44

Why not call to them from an upstairs window, or indeed through the letterbox, asking what they want?
THough TBH unless you are physically frail or live in an area where intruders pushing into the house through opened doors is very common, I do think it's a bit wet of an able-bodied adult to be too fwitened to open the door.

Giddyup · 13/07/2010 23:44

I am torn between thinking YANBU because we obviously have no idea what sort of area you live in etc and then thinking YABU. As to think so badly of boys playing football, asking for their belongings and then looking for them, it can't be too terrible where you live if you can manage to get worked up over stuff like this.

SanctiMoanyArse · 13/07/2010 23:49

Given that balls can be pretty costly, what options did you give them? Wold you ahev answered any otehr time, really?

YABU I think

Course you could do whay my Grandad did and chase said bal;l, catch it and stab ball violently until police took you away to a cell

GoodDaysBadDays · 13/07/2010 23:55

I'd rather they knocked tbh

Our neighbours boys just wandered in and out of our garden countless times to get their ball back. When I eventually said something and asked them to knock in future I had their Mum round screaming at me! (Boys were 15 and 13 ish!)

They don't kick it over anymore though

9pm is not that late, but any later wouldn't be on imo - though would still answer the door and give them their ball back but tell them not to knock after 9pm in future, the miserable old bag that I am

Original poster
MadameCheese · 14/07/2010 11:12

I guess no one is going to see it from my point of view, ah well maybe I am a bit wet. My DH is on my side so I guess that's all that matters really

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 14/07/2010 11:22

What would you like people to do if their ball has gone over your fence then? They've tried knocking and got no answer, so they thought it would do no harm to quickly pop over the fence and get it back themselves. I have a 16yo "youth" - it would not occur to him that anyone was so terrified of the sight of him at 9pm that they would not answer the door to him, so he would assume the house was empty.

In his case, and most lads I'm sure, he'd be very careful of the fence and the plants while he was doing it.

swanandduck · 14/07/2010 11:23

I often don't open the door if I'm at home on my own at night and know lots of other people who don't either. Partly out of caution and partly because, if I'm settled in front of the telly after an exhausing day of work and kids, I don't want unannounced visitors dropping in and staying for hours. Nowadays, with texting and mobile phones most people announce themselves before they land in on top of you. I know that sounds ant social but when I 'confessed' it recently at my book club lots of people said they do the same.
To go back to the OP, while really you shouldn't go into someone's garden without permission I can understand why a couple of young guys would just think ' oh there's no one in, we'll just go and get the ball'. As they genuinely thought the house was empty, they wouldn't have realised they might be scaring someone.