FGS make up your mind!

[bananalover]

AIBU in thinking my DS is being unreasonable?
He has been telling me for years now to get a hobby, an interest that is just for me. Not for him or the DC's...just me.
So, I did. Have started gardening with a passion. Reading books, watching Gardener's World fgs, buying plants practically every day.
DH has now declared that I have become obssessed...spend too much time in garden (evenings only BTW as am too busy with kids during the day).
I just do not get it. HE told me to get a hobby, I did, NOW he's moaning.
Just because I didn't choose to take up playing golf with him at his poxy club. Apparaently, I should get a hobby, but only if it meets with HIS requirements.
Am so bloody mad at him. I mean, talk about damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Have had big row with him and told him I am NOT going to play bloody stupid arsing golf, am going to garden instead.
AIBU? or is he?

Yanbu

I can see his point, if what he is feeling is that he doesn't get to spend time with you in the evenings, but OTOH YANBU. He could always practice his putting on thr lawn, or sit out and chat, or even pull a few weeds alongside of you.

yanbu indeed.

YANBU Golf is rubbish adn its YOUR hobby. My DH plays golf, cricket twice a week, cycles etc yet i done 1 trialthlon (with all the training done in my lunch break or after DC were in bed) and he made me drive there I had to make a picnic for them all then sloth the trialthlon in before sorting them all out again.
I dearly love my DH but I do think men are born selfish and if they do help they think they are doing you a massive favour. (My DH has the kids whilst I work as I do when he works but I find myself telling people how good he is with them that he cooks etc, would he do the same for me, No it's expected!!)
Sorry for the rant I guess it hit a nerve reading this.

Enjoy your gardening (why dont you book yourself a nice day out visiting some gardens too)

He hates gardening...but loves golf. I think he's pissed off because I didn't want to become one of those ladies who lunches at his club. I abhor everything they stand for. They play on a Sunday morning in their stupid pringle jumpers, then sit around drinking coffee in the clubhouse fgs.
I know gardening's not exactly up there with bungee jumping or abseiling, but it's got to better than golf.
He seems to think we can play together. I have pointed out to him that it would be stupid to pay a babysitter just so we can play this silly game together, but he thinks it's better than me gardening.

Why cant he garden with you ? why do you have to give up your hobby to facilitate his ?
Men - arghhhhhh

Sorry meant to add if you hate golf and he hates gardening is there anything you can do together if thats what he wants cinema once a week, walking?

They like the idea of a hobby, but sure as eggs are eggs, you decide to do anything you actually enjoy that doesn't involve hanging on their every whim and word... and THEN they have a problem....

Be strong, and do what you enjoy!

littleMissHissyFit...you are soooo right. After spending 8 years doing nothing for myself but looking after his and DC's needs, as soon as I get something for myself, he spits the dummy.
His sarky comments are really starting to chip away at me though. Calling me Percy Thrower when he knows damn well I am a novice at this stuff makes me wonder if I am doing this stuff right or not.
It's almost as though he resents me enjoying something that doesn't involve him!

vicbar...are you married to my DH, isn't that bigamy???

Ignore, ignore ignore! Tell him that the more he moans, the more you will do it. Start talking about a sunken garden, or a pond...

You have the time, it's not like you are out kicking your heels up around town, you are in the bleeding garden for gods sake.. what harm is it doing???

Only that you can't drop your hoe at his finger click and put the kettle on....

You have done your time, you have put in the years of family, now is the time for you to develop your own interests.

My mum's dh has taken up bridge, he is trying to get my mum to do it. She doesn't want to learn, she has no interest in cards at all. He keeps on and on. In the end, she had to be quite harsh and tell him No Way on Earth would she ever consider it.

He wasn't keen on her doing her exercises, but she knew if she didn't do them, she'd be at his beck and call all day... and when she is at home, he pops in all the time, phones up all the time... wonders why her mobile is always off.....

Enjoy your life, enjoy your garden!