not to let my DS (13yr old) drink coffee?

[Limara]

Appreciate your thoughts....

Thanks Ragwort, nice to see a really useful response, well done

I think it's dodgy to ban things because 'they're not good for you' or issuing 'tight controls' without thinking through why.

NarkyPuffin is absolutely right that this just makes children take you less seriously on actual important issues.

At 13, he's easily old enough to make a decision like whether to drink coffee. You could tell him your worries but any actual bans, controls etc. are really just setting you up for conflict and aggro further along the line.

I would save your angst for when he discovers REAL drugs!

have you concidered decaf, understand your concerns teenagers have a fairly high caffine intake when you concider chocolate and coke, also not great for the teenage complection if they are already suffering good luck!!!

YABU. He's going to drink coffee at some point

My goodness is this a pfb btw! What the heck is wrong with tea/coffee, its not devils food you know! Buy decaff their sorted. I used to love tea as a teen and would drink decaff, relax, its hardly alcohol!

We are talking about a 13 year old not 13 month old . I love a cup of tea in the morning, one midday and one in the evening when dd goes to bed, hardly a caffine addiction. I even give dd the odd cup of tea every now and again is she asks, she is 3.4 btw.

He is 13, you should be getting more and more relaxed over what you 'let' him do. And forbidding things that are not illegal or harmful to anyone else is just petty power-tripping anyway.

Limara - ever wish you'd never asked?!

LOL!! It's coffee, and he's 13. If it was crack and a three year old I might agree with you.

My 3 drink tea/coffee - and they're all taller than me.

My fourteen year old drinks about 3-4 cups of coffee a week (seems the norm in Germany that everyone asks dd if she wants a coffee too and teenagers drink coffee) At first I wasn't too chuffed but think also..if thats all I've got to worry about with dd then I'm lucky and I'll wait for something much bigger to worry out..enjoy a coffee together!

My 14 year old DD goes to Starbucks after ballet lessons on Saturday. She thinks a decaff latte is the height of cool sophistication. As long as coffee drinking is in moderation, I'd save the worrying untill something bigger comes along.

Sorry bout that, just been trying to score some columbian. Did I miss anything? Oh yeah right, thats it.... um DS on his 4th cup of coffee and now refusing to go to bed cause he's so wired, what's your address(s) I'll drop him round

LittleMisscantbewrong- Yeah I know! I thought I was BU that's why I posted. Jeeeeeeeees, I tell you what, some of you lot have been drinking TOO much cafe' chillaxxxxx

Caffeine made my DCs (12 and 14) hyper when they were little, but I have no problems with them having coffee or tea now, they love a starbucks. We tend to only drink decaf at home anyway so they now join us in a coffee after dinner now.

My suggestion was to use decaff !

see I think ok well there is caffine in chocolate bars and energy drinks - so best let teeens get there caffine this way and keep a lock on my coffee and keep it for myself - as he is getting enough caffine elsewhere

I am addicted to coffee - I went for three days recently without cooffee - I couldn't just couldn't keep my eyes open it was like taking three piriton my eye lids just dropped...

I would allow him to try decaff to see if he likes it. Nescafe do a good one in their slightly more expensive range. it is Alta Rica and really, I cannot taste the difference between that and the regular Alta Rica. It has a good strong coffee flavour, which most decaff coffee doesn't IME.

Just make sure he knows it is decaff as someone said.

I have generally found that banning something just has the effect of making it more desirable whereas a sensible and (within reason) accpeting approach, has usually led to my DCs making sensible choices about their intake of alcohol, tobacco and caffeine. The 18 year old went through a phase of drinking energy drinks, but we showed him how small the 'recommended' quantity actually was and he decided he would rather drink squash/milk. we have always been happy for them to have a beer or wine with us, but actually, neither of them like the taste and we have also told them that we can't stop them smoking but that we would rather they don't do it indoors as DH and I cannot stand the smell. Neither of them have ever even wanted to try a ciggie. OTOH, wnebever Dh or I have actually attempted to 'ban' something, it seems to become Dcs sole purpose in life to sneak whatever it is past us. It causes too many unnecessary arguments and upset. Better to let them think you are cool with it because trust me, if a parent is cool with something, as far as a teenager is concerned, they want nothing to do with it!

Can caffeine really stunt their growth? Because HURRAH! if so.
DS is 6 foot 2 now and costing a fortune in school trousers. Hurrah for caffeine!
I'll be putting coffee in his lunch pack.

LOL Collie