to let primary school know I don't like the tone of DS school report (reception class)

[dietstartstmoz]

Hi, don't know if to post this in Primary educ or not?
Anyhow, DS aged 5 got his reception report yesterday. he has achieved above all his targets, and has scored very highly on the National Framework scores. He has enjoyed his first yr at school and we are happy with the school, no probs with him.
We appreciate he is not a 'perfect' child, he is a lovely, normal boy like his peers and has things he needs to work on, but he is very bright and a happy boy.
His report is a page of teacher comments, which are just a bit bland, his achievements and what he can do well are commentated on, but then followed with a 'when he chooses, or when he likes it'. Even from the first sentence. There is just a bland, general negative tone to the report. My DH and I just feel it does not recognise his achievements and what he can do well, enough. There are lots of positives, and he can do this well and is very good at this, but there is no warmth, or any sense that the teacher knows what his likes and dislikes are, or what he is like. There are no examples of work he has done well, or struggles with, just a series of statements that could have been cut and pasted.
There is an opportunity to go in and talk to the teacher about the national framework scales tmorrow, but both of us are at work (DH going to see if he can go but unlikely).
There is a reply page for comments, and I originally wasn't going to reply, but this mmorning I asked a mum whose DS is in the same class about his report (she said she was quite pleased), I started to explain about how I felt and another parent, a complete stranger stopped me and said his son's was the same-negative-and he not happy, his DS is in Yr1. So now don't know if it's the schools general style, or just those teachers.
I have seen my friends DD's reception report and hers is lovely, with lots of references to what she enjoys doing in class, and what she does well and a lovely teacher comment saying how much she has enjoyed blah blah and how she has made her laugh with her funny stories about her dog, so showing that she knows that child and her personality.
AIBU and a precious mother about my DS, or should i tell them I think his achievements and what he does well should be celebrated more, and then give points for development?
Comments welcome cos don't know what to do, don't wants to come across as a puchy mom, as i'm not but just feel the report is typical of the teacher and her personality and style.

Agree with main consensus, lots of school reports are like this these days and the purpose of the report is not for the teacher to demonstrate how well they know or how much they like the pupil.

It would be lovely if all teachers had both the time and inclination to write glowing personal anecdotes about all their pupils, but it's not really what a report is all about.

D

Have you thought that the repetitive "when he likes it" and "when he chooses to" are trying to give you a valuable bit of information, rather than just being negative for the sake of it? Sounds to me that if this follows almost every achievment in the report then your teacher is very clearly trying to tell you that, while your son is very able, he only makes an effort when HE can be bothered rather than continually doing his best. If this is the case then maybe that is why it's not a glowing report?

If they just listed his achievements but didn't mention that he didn't try if he didn't like something, how would you feel when he's dropped behind in, for example Year 6 maths beause he hadn't bothered with the basics because he didn't like it and suddenly it became a bit to complicated for him to wing it using his native intelligence? Bet you'd be raging that the school hadn't told you. Being bright and happy is only half the battle with academic achievement, you have to be able to knuckle down and do it when you're not so keen either.

my daughters report used the exact same wording (also reception)also things like "needs to work on concentration levels". I didnt feel they made the report negative, it was actually quite a positive report which just said she is easily distracted which isnt the end of the world.

When I used to write reports (admittedly at secondary) we had strict guidelines - what has been done, something positive, action to improve. Sometimes finding the "something positive" was really difficult and our reports would be rejected if they weren't nice enough. This left bland reports where you hoped that the parents can read between the lines (unlikely given their offspring).

Your DS's report actually sounds like a more honest report than many. Would you rather read "DS can produce high quality work," and not know that this means "but often doesn't choose to"?

It's normal, leave well alone, they'll think you're a loon

Dietstarts - I could have written your post almost exactly.

I was looking forward to reading son's report - and what I got was bland, and not very positive. Also have no idea where he is against frameworks - they have just tick boxes - he is "in line with expectations".

In contrast to younger son's report (he's in nursery) - which although in exactly the same format really gives a sense that they know him, and even - like him a little bit. I'm not expecting an adoption request, just something a bit more personal than "he completes all his work as expected".

Rather than just want to tick some boxes.

I do have some sympathy with teacher - I'm in secondary, wrote loads and loads of reports and not all of them were great, I'm sure.

Although am a bit worried as he will have the same teacher for the next two years - small village primary.

I am not looking forward to reading my son's report from his reception teacher he has been unable to control his behaviour in class all year and looks utterly sick of him at times, unless I am being a bit paranoid.

Guess it can all vary depending on chemistry too only human nature.

Not sure if my comments help but just wanted to give vent!

Ok I get the hint, IABU, but thanks for those that get that it would it be nice if DS report had been a bit more personalised with some examples of his work, and what he is like in the classroom. His report does not make reference to any activity he has undertaken this yr in school.
I do know that he is a normal 5 yr old and needs a rocket up his backside to make him do things sometimes, he is not my pfb by any means, but I guess I was just expecting too much from the report. And, yes I do know how much these reports take to write (DS class of 22) as both DH and I work in education, so I know how hard teachers work. Thanks for the replies, puts it into perspective.

he's reception...what were you expecting?? i mean really....examples of his work? what 'work' is noteworthy at this age?? he's not doing his gcse's is he??

as long as he meets targets,then why worry??you shouldnt compare schools reports styles either..he sounds like he's done ok

YABU but I understand where you come from. I was really looking forward to DD's reception report. I admit to being a bit PFB and proud and all year the teacher has been making comments about what she has done well. her report does talk about what she enjoys doing but has a great deal about what she needs to do to improve. There are no references to EYFP but when I looked them up the comments were focussed on what she needed to do to get to level 9. On reflection this is really helpful (and the sort of report I right at secondary) but it was a bit of a shock after the gushing reports from nursery. I am ashamed to say I might even have shed a little tear.
DH (much more rational) pointed out that she isn't perfect, she isn't a genius, and there is always going to be something she needs to work on ...
I wanted a report that told me how wonderful she is as an individual, what I got was a factual report about academic progress. I blame the constraints of the system and the fact that the teacher is a bit po-faced (but adored by DD and a very good teacher.)

PS just to clarify I didn't let my daughter see that I was thrown by it - I told her how proud I was of course.

I completely understand what you are saying as I was disappointed in my son's report too. The school uses a click and go system where the teacher chooses phrases and the child's name is then inserted. reads very blandly and not very positively- x has participated in xyz. x has taken part in- tells me nothing. I know it is a problem with this system so I wrote back in the follow up that I was disappointed in it, but heard nothing and didn't expect so.

Footnote- I am a primary teacher and know how hard and time consuming it is to write the reports, but feel it is the only written statement that a parent gets- it's once a year and I try to put in as much as possible- probably why I was disappointed in what I received.

I clearly remember finding it hard to understand how the reception teachers could refrain from falling at the feet of all my DC and worshipping them But they managed with obvious difficulty. I suspect having 30 of the little blighters every year has something to do with it.

DS#2's teacher did offer to take him home with her once. I said yes but she didn't

I think that maybe the use of the terms 'when he chooses, or when he likes it' reflect the EY style of 'learning through play' where reception children 'choose' activities etc and there is not so much structured learning.

I could be wrong but that's how I read it.

My DDs (nursery and Class 1) just got cut and pasted reports in curriculum areas and then a lovely personal paragraph and a handwritten note from the head. We haven't had these 'scores' that are all the talk on MN....think I am pleased that we haven't! At 4 and 6 I'd rather they were happy and progressing at a rate they can cope with .

Have only read OP, sorry. But you do know they cut and paste from a long list of 'things to say on a report'. Each report isn't a carefully and lovingly constructed narrative on your PFB.

I know what you mean, though, honestly I do. DS's first report from nursery was just a collection of random descriptions of a child's achievements that could have been about anyone. Bland bland bland.

You know he is doing well, and that's all that matters.

How did you feel your DS's teacher knew him during the year? Have you been happy generally or not?

YANBU to be a bit miffed that there is nothing personal about your son. However, if you were to make a big deal of this I would think YABU.

If it makes you feel any better I was in the same situation when my yr1 ds brought his report home. After last years enthusiastic two sided A4 report from his reception teacher, who seemed to 'know' my son (along with his good and bad traits!) I was mildly disappointed that there was nothing personal this year.
Like your ds there was Nada about him as a character, or how he has settled into his new school. I have not taken this personally but put this down to different teachers, varying report frameworks in different schools.

It was tempting, but I did resist the urge to reply with a sarcastic 'Thank You, Miss, for taking two minutes of your lunch break to illegibly write and randomally tick boxes on my sons coffee stained report. Thank you also for managing to mix up said report with another childs, scribble a big chunk out and spell my sons name wrong no less than three times' I have every faith in said teacher honesly I do...

Honestly oopps!

Frankly even now we get reports for our Children (11 and 13 and both in fee-paying selective schools) which obviously contain comments meant for other pupils. I used to worry a lot about this but now I've just learned to shrug it off. I know pretty well how my children are doing: I attend parents' evenings and look carefully at comments on their exercise books.

I just don't take reports too much to heart. For all the reasons Scaryteacher gives (though I'm sure hers are always accurate, helpful and witty ).

God who gives a monkeys about reception year 'reports' - all this national framework bollocks. We've just treated this year as a glorified playschool - proper school starts in yr1 imo so that's when I'll be getting my knickers in a twist about things.

Just had dd's yr1 report. How dull can these things be? Dd does all the things the other kids do, isn't an alien from outer space, and gets on with it. I don't think many teachers get the opportunity to charm or offend. So I guess that pretty much any report will be either without charm and inoffensive or possibly both.

It's a bit dull, but I think that's just the way it is, like milk pudding.

yabu. You are being unreasonable and preciou, and unrealistic.

School reports in my experience of seeing them, are done on a pro-forma basis.

The comments about 'when he wants to' or 'when he likes it' I would take as a hint that he's a bit stubborn sometimes?

Is there a parents evening some time soon where you could discuss these issues?

I am a teacher. In dd's first year at school I got a very bland report (didn't get the 'when he wants to' comment although as a teacher it is very frustrating having to persuade/bribe/lay down the law everytime you want a child to do something. Does he understand school is compulsory and not just a choice of doing stuff he likes?! TBH my dd does struggle with this a bit and when her teacher mentioned at parents evening that they had had a few battles I was pleased to hear an honest view, I have the same difficulties with my daughter myself- although the rest of the evening was very positive - she is after all virtually perfect in every other way !)

ANYWAY...when I got this bland report with virtually nothing to identify it as my daughter's I mentioned to the teacher that I was quite disappointed with the format of the report (word bank/impersonal nature) and she agreed and said she wouldn't be using it next year.

Not really sure what the point of my post is. Basically you are being a teeny PFB but aren't we all! Personally I would say something but then I'm not worried about being a PITA.