Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to not want to Baptise the DCs...

47 replies

HowAnnoying · 12/07/2010 19:22

..just to get them in the local RC school.

It's a good school and a 5 minute walk, the nearest school to me is on special measures and has had problems with bullying.

I will apply for DS1 to go to the RC school, as apparently there are plenty of non RC kids there. The thing is he'll only get in if not enough RC kids apply, DP is babtised so apparently they take that into consideration.

I've always said I won't baptise them, but so many people say "why not?" "just do it to get them in", "it doesn't mean anything".

Am I putting my beliefs before whats best for the kids?

OP posts:

thehat · 13/07/2010 18:40

By hardcore I mean learning about the Sacraments, learning about what happens at Mass and the Eucharist. When you learn about other religions in a RC school you really only touch on them. In a Catholic Primary you will have RE lessons every day.

5Foot5 · 13/07/2010 19:35

I think it depends on the school. At DD's RC primary they certainly learnt about the Sacraments, Mass and all that. But I am pretty sure that RE was not a daily event and I think they did more than touch on other religions.

Also one of her friends at this school was a Muslim girl who told them some things about her religion first hand.

spanxaremyonlyfriend · 13/07/2010 20:05

"When you learn about other religions in a RC school you really only touch on them"

That sweeping generalisation isn't true. Catholic school are just as varied as any other kind of school.

Ds has had a half term on Hinduism with visit to a temple and a half term on Islam with visit to a mosque and a Iman coming into school to do a talk and he is only in Y1. In his school 10% of the time is spent on RE, and they do it every day. This is standard in our diocese but I don't know what other dioceses do.

thehat · 13/07/2010 20:10

By spending half a term on them you are only touching on them.In comparison when you are in a RC school,being brought up in RC household and worship in a RC church then you are really learning about a religion (insert your own religion to suit!)

Snobear4000 · 13/07/2010 20:12

What about the risks of Catholic priests, brothers etc, abusing the kids. I little birdy whispered in my ear that it's all too common.

mumtoabeautifulbabyboy · 13/07/2010 20:34

RE is a core subject in all Catholic schools, this means that 10% of teaching time must be spent on RE. In effect this is a whole afternoon a week at KS2 (this may be spread out over KS1).
In addition there is collective worship every day (approx 20mins).

The children in catholic schools do learn about other religions (perhaps one lesson per half term) and often visit other places of worship. They are taught to respect other faiths and beliefs.

I have taught in a few Catholic schools (despite not being Catholic) and have found them to be by far the most loving, caring places to work where the learning is really child centered. The good results in SATs etc seem to follow which is why many non faith (like me!) parents want to get their child into these schools (without realising that it is the very special ethos that makes them so high achieving).

The parents tend to be extremely supportives of the school and where I have worked it really is a collabaration between parents and school working together to get the best for the pupils.

I have also worked in outstanding non faith schools but where the results are often excellent, the 'feel' of the school just isn't the same.

I understand why parents would baptise their child to get into a faith school (though I don't particularly agree - might as my little boy gats older!) but if you do that, then it is important to really support the ethos of the school. You certainly can't opt out of the 'religius bits'. That is failing to see what makes the school special and somewhere that you want to send your child.

MarthaQuest · 13/07/2010 20:39

The Catholic priest at the primary school I attended, gives assemblies where he tells the children how wrong homosexuality is

I know this because my friend is now a teacher there.

I went to a convent and would never put my dcs through the indoctrination I had to put up with.

So the alternative school is a bit ropey . Why not try and improve it by sending your dcs there?

IHeartJohnLewis · 13/07/2010 20:42

I wouldn't. It would be completely against all my non-beliefs. I'd rather pay and go private, although the MN view seems to be that this is less ethical.

Failing that, I'd either move house to a better catchment area, or home educate.

IHeartJohnLewis · 13/07/2010 20:43

Forgot to say: I wouldn't touch a ropey school with the proverbial bargepole. My DCs may be fabulous, but I doubt they would improve an entire school.

Roobie · 13/07/2010 20:47

If you are not planning on raising your children as catholics (and certainly if you are opposed to the teachings of the catholic church) then you shouldn't get them baptised. Any good sound parish priest would counsel you against this.

ChateauRouge · 13/07/2010 20:52

Lying in order to gain a school place is wrong. End of story. Faith doesn't come into it.

mumtoabeautifulbabyboy · 13/07/2010 20:56

MarthaQuest - I have never heard of this. The priests who spoke at the schools I worked in focused very much on the gospel values of loving, caring and treating others as you would like to be treated. Parables like the good samaritan etc.
He sounds very old school.

autodidact · 13/07/2010 20:58

How do you know there is a bullying problem at the local school? Special measures can be the start of a turnaround sometimes. I'd definitely have a look round and decide for yourself. Don't assume that local gossip is correct or up to date. Sometimes it's spot on and sometimes it's a load of bolleaux.

MarthaQuest · 13/07/2010 21:06

mumtoa -He is a nasty piece of work actually and it doesn't surprise me at all.

I used to attend mass occasionally with my dad to make him happy but I stopped because I was so fed up of the evil looks and the pointed homilies about single mums. When he didn't even smile at toddler DS (mixed race) .......

The catholic church has repeatedly let me down so I do have an axe to grind, but there are some lovely priests I know, but this one is really just following Pope Benedict's right wing guidance when you think about it.

melikalikimaka · 14/07/2010 09:28

If I were you, I would go with your gut instinct, you don't want them to go to the catholic school, so send them to the other.

In my experience, it's mostly the mum who has dealings with anything to do with school, so it would probably be easier for you. I would go to their open days and make your mind up then.

Original poster

HowAnnoying · 14/07/2010 11:05

TO whoever said I would need to attend to Church, I don't think this is the case for this school, I know plenty of people who send their DCs there and only go to church for funerals and weddings.

I found a table on the internet regarding the number of applications and number of places available and there are 45 places and last year there were about 42 applications, I've tried ot find it again but can't, one of those random things you just stumble across sometimes.

Also I know the other local school had bullying problems because 6 children in year 6 left because they were bullied so badly. Thats pretty appalling. Although they did have 2 part time head teachers, which have now been replaced by 1 full time and 1 full time deputy.

Also the infants part of this school usually have 60 places available, and in 2011/12 they are providing 90 places, where is this extra space and resources come from, seems to me the council think it is a crap school so just pile in the extra places needed there.

OP posts:

fedupofnamechanging · 14/07/2010 12:01

My parents did this when I was a child. I went to a catholics primary school and then came home to two atheist parents. I can honestly say that it hasn't done me any harm. I simply grew up knowing that people believe different things. I wasn't confused as a child and I did receive the best education my parents could get for me, given that they couldn't afford to pay for my education.

With my own DC, I am fortunate in that our local schools are excellent. The school does have religious assemblies. My DC know that some people believe in God and some people (like their grandad) do not. I think in time they will settle on their own beliefs. I do not think they will be confused.

Mingg · 14/07/2010 12:41

"TO whoever said I would need to attend to Church, I don't think this is the case for this school, I know plenty of people who send their DCs there and only go to church for funerals and weddings"

I meant that you'd have to attend church before your child got in if you were applying as a Catholic just baptising would not be enough. This school might be different but all the Catholic schools I have looked at do require a letter from your priest confirming regular church attendance as part of the application process it.

seeker · 14/07/2010 12:47

I think you may find it takes a bit more than baptism. And that the baptism needs to have happened in the first year of life.

I suppose it depends on how prepared you are to life a lie and tell your children to live a lie.

Easywriter · 14/07/2010 13:00

I think that you probably could but your decision should be based on whether either or both you and your partner are prepared to support your child through school.

As other posters have said there will be mass, RE, prayers and not only will your child be expected to participate but you may need to. I don't mean the school will force you to go but your child will want you there.

e.g. My DC's are at RC Primary (I am RC) when they do a class assembly there may be prayers or even a mass preceedin it. When the school welcomed reception children it was done as part of a mass.
My DC's have questions for me and though I confess some I struggle with (as my view on certain subjects differs to that of the church) it would be awful for them if I couldn't explain what the church line is (and obviously give my own take on it for things I differ on).
What about First Communion? It's huge for Catholics, akin to a (small) wedding, could you support and understand the importance.

It's quite a big commitment is all I mean by the above. I think you run the risk of getting you child a good education but potentially having them think they lack your support.

Does that make any sense? (I may have just made a pig's ear of that explanation).

seeker · 14/07/2010 13:02

And just because it's a RC school doesn't automatically mean a good education. I am tempted to name a couple - but I won't!

Original poster

HowAnnoying · 19/07/2010 10:42

Update - I rang the school, they said they do take non-catholics, and the fact DP is baptised that will be taken into consideration, she said they were oversubscribed by 20 places this year but they did still take non-catholics in.

I am going to look round the school in september. I am not going to baptise them, I can't lie, I'm rubbish at it! Anyway I would rather them go to the school as non-catholics that way the school will know exactly who we are and not expect me to pray and stuff! I am quite happy for DCs to join in the religious bits, I did in my primary school and I wasn't confused (although I did think Jesus lived behind the curtain in the church!!)

My 2nd choice school will be one in a "rougher" area but is classed as "outstanding" in Ofsted, I will also visit that one. I am avoiding the "bully" school liek the plague, I was bullied at senior school and it was effing awful.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2