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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think school is bang out of order?

70 replies

nickschick · 12/07/2010 07:22

short version
(i dont generally do short )

Ds2 has m.e
school trip today to Alton Towers.
Ds cannot go,the rides upset his balance and make him extremely ill-he'd love to go but his worst fear is being 'ill' in front of his friends,(when he becomes ill he gets v pale collapses gets terrific headache has immense pain and no muscle control)

So hes not going.

nor are several kids

so today getting him up for school I say what jeans you wearing? knowing all the kids on fb have been discussing what their wearing.

No we have to wear uniform cos we are not on the trip he replies.

So unless we pay a massive amount for the trip and some kids arent going cos they cant afford it they wear uniform.

I think its wrong wrong wrong.

OP posts:

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 12/07/2010 08:02

"And as a trip to Alton Towers isn't educational, it is also fine imo for the school funds not to cover the cost of children who cannot afford to go."

Then it shouldn't be during normal school hours.

Original poster

nickschick · 12/07/2010 08:03

overmydeadbody- I hope your dc never has a reason financial or healthwise not to attend a trip.

OP posts:

overmydeadbody · 12/07/2010 08:03

GoblinChild my school wouldn't be able to sub children who couldn't pay for expensive school trips. We have a tiny budget and last term when we ran out of rubbers we couldn't afford to buy any more for 4 weeks!

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 12/07/2010 08:03

Oh, forgot to add - YABU. He's staying in school, therefore adheres to the uniform and doesn't wear jeans.

Goblinchild · 12/07/2010 08:03

£1 here as well, down in the wealthy SE. Primary and secondary.

Goblinchild · 12/07/2010 08:05

overmydeadbody, I have worked in much more deprived areas. We wouldn't put on a mega-expensive trip, too exclusive and unjustifiable.

overmydeadbody · 12/07/2010 08:05

nickchick DS goes to beavers, some of the trips they do and sleepovers they do are way over my budget, so DS doesn't go on those.

Your OP was a gripe about uniforms, and now it has turned into a much more general gripe about the school.

Original poster

nickschick · 12/07/2010 08:06

No maisie its definitely £3-4 -apparently half goes to school half to charity..

Goblinchild last time we visited the fair me dh and 3 dc spent massive amounts getting in - 2 rides later we were in the car coming home ds2 covered in vomit and collapsing- the fair people had wanted to call an ambulance.

He came home,couldnt stand for a long time and slept 18 hours.

OP posts:

overmydeadbody · 12/07/2010 08:07

I agree Libra.

I would be a bit if DS's school suddenyl decided a school trip to Alton Towers was a good idea.

Goblinchild · 12/07/2010 08:07

Sounds very familiar nickschick.
We found other things he's fantastic at that keep up his street cred.

Original poster

nickschick · 12/07/2010 08:07

overmydeadbody its my experience that this is the way 'am i being unreasonable?' goes .....this could go back to the breast v formula argument and im holding back the I h.e ds3 til much later .

OP posts:

RunawayWife · 12/07/2010 08:09

If he is in school he needs to be in uniform

Original poster

nickschick · 12/07/2010 08:09

Goblinchild - us too.

OP posts:

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 12/07/2010 08:10

How much was the trip? DS1's school has just done the Alton Towers thing - we're in Edinburgh, and it cost £40, inc. travel and entrance fee.

Original poster

nickschick · 12/07/2010 08:14

I thought it was about £30 but ds says it was more than that - if he could go I would willingly pay it please dont think im moaning cos of that.

The added extra is that they have to buy lunch there -there is no facility for packed lunches apparently???

so presuming the trip is £30 ish lunch in there would be about £6-7 plus drinks and ices during the day,so the children I know are taking about £20, thats a lot of money on short notice.

OP posts:

Trafficcone · 12/07/2010 08:19

I don't understand why he's not going on the trip? Why can't he go and have fun with his mates but just not go on the rides? Last time I went with school for each ride there was at least one person who didn't fancy each particular ride so there'd be someone for
Him to hang out with while he 'lol'ed' at his mates screaming on the ride. There's still plenty to do that doesn't cause wobbles ( I have a child with panic attacks who avoids rides) and let's face it, the best part of any school trip is the coach journey there!! (mooning at drivers on the M6 anyone??)

You are being unreasonable about uniform though. Not on the trip then normal rules apply.

Cretaceous · 12/07/2010 08:21

nickschick says it's a whole school trip. Therefore, surely the children who don't go, for one reason or another, shouldn't be left at school with no special day? Will they be doing lessons as usual, or will they get their own at-school special day?

Personally, I'd not be so bothered about the uniform (although that does seem unfair in the circumstances), but more that those children left behind didn't have their own (cheap!) fun day.

Original poster

nickschick · 12/07/2010 08:24

Trafficcone hed love to go on the rides,and would inevitably do so.

It was him knowing himself that decided he wasnt going to go.

Also a whole day walking is too much for him,plus at any time he can 'get poorly' sent home week last Thursday because he was collapsed and clammy and couldnt move- its very embarassing for him ,fortunately [?] when he collapsed he was in the office and he had hurt his ankle,so the quick thinking secretary cleared all the kids away by saying hed fainted cos of the pain.

OP posts:

Original poster

nickschick · 12/07/2010 08:26

Cret....I think some teachers will let them watch bits of dvds and I know 1 teacher keeps a dance mat for such times but hes taken his books as he knows some teachers dont 'bend'.

OP posts:

GiddyPickle · 12/07/2010 08:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HouseofCrazy · 12/07/2010 08:54

Nick- I think your DS sounds Fab and very grown up about his illness. The bit that stood out for me was that he would have loved to go but he knew he wouldnt be able to resist the rides. That sounds like a very balanced boy who knows his limits and has dealt with it in a mature way. Good on him! You should be proud of him

Starbuck999 · 12/07/2010 09:56

I think YABU to think he wouldn't be wearing school uniform when he's going to be in school.

Giddypickle - I'm sure most school trips don't exclude children that are ill/disabled but they can't possibly make every school trip ideal for every single child, just the majority and making allowance and adaptions for those with extra needs where they can to make it possible for as many childlren as possible to go. I would love it if my dd's achool organised something similar, they usually do it a couple of months in advance to give those who are less well off a bit of time to save and prepare for it!

I also do not see why special trips like Alton Towers shouldnt go ahead just because some parents can't afford it. That's life unfortunately, and by secondary school age kids must start to realise not everyone can afford everything they'd like to do and some people have more moeny than others. Why should those that can afford it miss out because some cant? Doesn't make sense to me.

Rosieeo · 12/07/2010 10:05

I second Starbuck. Why on earth should everyone miss out because some people can't afford it/are ill?

We run loads of trips that not everyone attends, for a variety of reasons. There is a school fund available, but it can't cover everything.

I hate to lapse into clichés, but life isn't always fair, is it?

fedupofnamechanging · 12/07/2010 10:08

I totally disagree with schools planning expensive, non-educational trips during term time. There seems to be a double standard here in that lots of schools will kick off if a parent wishes to remove their child during term time to go on holiday, but it's okay if the school does it. I think it is horrible for those children whose parents can't afford these trips. Call me a misery, but I think theme parks should be something parents take their DC to and school should concentrate on the more educational trips.

bigTillyMint · 12/07/2010 10:30

After reading all the later posts, YANBU.

What a meanie school to not let the ones who aren't going, for whatever reason, ocme in non-uniform and have some other fun.

And at cost of non-uniform day - DC's is 50p (or free if you froget to give them the money!)

Is it a secondary school?

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