To want to have my own car over the summer?

[Stephief]

I found out a few days ago that my oh has agreed to lend my car to his ex wife for her summer holiday for a fortnight. Now I only bought the car a few months ago, with the intention it would be nice to have a decent car over the school holidays so we can take the kids out a bit easier. I am pg, baby is due mid august, he has agreed to her having the car until about a week before my due date, so bang goes our summer plans! On top of this, its tax and mot are due while she has the car, so I also have to fork out to have it taxed and mot'd early so it is legal!

Am I being unreasonable thinking that a)I should at least have a say in the matter, and b) that if she needs a bigger/more relilable car for her holiday she should maybe go buy one herself? (they have about three times the income we have, I had to save long and hard for my car!)

It is your car, presumabaly in your name, you don't have to give it to her.

Why has he offered it to her? Is there more to this???

I would be very cross, and no YANBU.

YANBU. I would keep the car-keys nice and safe and refuse to let them go. No-one, let alone a husband, should hand out your posessions without your permission.

YADNBU, i'd be fuming - would expect dh to ask if he was borrowing my car himself, let alone lending it to his ex-w!

I certainly wouldn't lend my car to someone else if I needed it myself. Why would anyone?

So would that mean that you would have no car yourself whilst your Dh's xp has your car?

yanbu, he should of asked you 1st.

It's your car, not his.

If he's so keen to provide her with transport he can lend her his own car (if he has one) and make do with public transport for those two weeks.

Say no. If it's your car, you get to say who borrows it, and as BAFE says, why would you lend your car to someone if you are using it yourself?

Suggest he lends her HIS car and gets the bus to work. Might make him think twice in the future

If it's his ex-wife and they have three times your income why is there even a question of her borrowing a car from you? And you do have a say. Say no.

I will tell him to piss of and give her his own bloody car! No way should he expect you to give yours to her.. SAY NO!

If she needs a more reliable car for her holidays then she could hire one.

Tell him to tell her the car isn't available. She'll have to use her own car or hire another one. Or he could hand over his car.

YANBU at all and I would be v. v. with DH for offering to loan out yours!

Bizarre way to carry on

You do sound as though you might be actually considering accepting this Stephie, and just not being happy about it. I do find it fairly incredible it would even occur to anyone's DP that it would be ok to offer their current DP's car to their ex, tbh.

How odd! Say no. It's your car!!! If he wants to lend his ex a car, tell him to lend her his.

He is taking the piss! Refuse. Tell him if he tries it anyway, you will report it stolen!

YA so NBU! I would be furious!

I would ring the XP myself and explain that he didn't ask you and you need it yourself so sorry she can't have it.

Otherwise he might make you out to be the bad guy here when you are definately not.

If she gets narky about it, tell her it's him she should be annoyed with for offering her something that wasn't his to offer.

And, yes, tell him to lend her his car!

Sorry, your DH has said he will lend your car to his ex?

Er, cobblers to that. And why are you even here asking? It's a non starter, just laugh in his face and put the keys down your bra. Then forget all about it.

YANBU - What a knob, tell him to fuck off.

Rant over.

Surely there must be more to this? I can't understand how any DP could offer to lend their heavily pregnant DP's car to their ex-wife. Is he always this inconsiderate?

I would not only be making it extremely clear that my car would not be going anywhere, I would also be having serious words about where his loyalties lie.

YADNBU

There is a choice of much more acceptable options:

Your DH lends his car (cheeky sod offering to lend your car out!)
His ex hires a car for 2 weeks
She borrows a car from someone who doesn't need theirs
She goes without and uses other transport options.

Borrowing your car is an absolutely laughable idea. You must say no. Why the hell would he think it's ok to agree to lend your car without your permission? I'd go stir crazy without my car for 2 weeks of the summer holidays.

Oh and what hopalong says. Where do his loyalties lie?

Personally, I would phone her myself and say that you can't think what he was thinking when he said he would lend her your car, as you will be using it. Suggest she hires a car. Then tell him that you have sorted it and he is never to treat you that way again. By talking to her yourself, you take control away from him. As he just tried to do to you.

You have deeper problems than the car btw.

Agree with others - this is so obviously unreasonable there must be more to it.

It's simple, the car is yours and it isn't his to lend out. No need to overthink it, just laugh and tell him no. (Or her.)