If your DC1 is allergic, what diet do you give your younger DCs?

[anothercoldcupoftea]

If you're lucky enough to have just one allergic child, do you tend to alter the family food so it suits all, even the allergic ones, or just cook 'regular' food and a special portion for the allergic one?

Just that DD1 is anaphylactic allergic to dairy and eggs, and as she's only 2, we don't tend to eat together very much (too early teatime/lunchtime etc - although we do have family brekkie at the weekend), so she has her own freezer full of batch made food.

But I'm about to start weaning DD2, and it doesn't seem (fingers crossed) like she has the same allergic tendencies. Would it be so bad to wean DD2 on a largely dairy/egg free diet to avoid problems with DD1 (her feeling left out/potential issues if she touches or eats any by accident)? What do you tend to do?

We have it the other way around dd1 isn't allergic to anything and it's dd2 (a year younger) who has the allergies.

I try to cook along the same lines for everyone. There are a couple of meals which everyone can have but mostly I tailor Dd2s meal a bit.

Can be tricky though as dd1 and Dh eat red meat and I don't. Dd2 can eat red meat but not tomato so if I do Shepherds Pie I end up cooking 3 separate meals..

She is 15mo and is just starting to clock on that she eats differently and looks wistfully at Dd1s chocolate buttons. Hoping she'll grow out of her allergies by age 3.

Then again my dd is so far not anaphylactic for anything so we're not living in fear as much as you must be.

A bit of a mixture here also.

Ds (8) is allergic to nuts and until recently was also allergic to eggs. Dd (4) has no allergies.

At weekends, I try to cook something we can all eat together. During the week, the dcs would tend to eat something egg free for tea and I would often cook something separately for us later.

Once ds was at school all day, I would often give dd foods with egg in for lunch and stick to the same things for tea.

Ds has got used to not being able to eat lots of things we (and others) have and I always make sure that he has access to alternatives. My feeling is that as he is likely to have these allergies for life (luckily not the egg now though), he has to get used to situations where he cannot eat what others have. He is generally very stoical about this and takes it very well.

DS1 is anaphylactic to dairy (although not to touching it) and DS2 is fine. DS1 used to be allergic to eggs and still isn't keen on things like omelettes.

I found when DS2 was weaning that there was so much preparation involved in dairy free food for DS1 (including making hot lunches to take to school), baby food for DS2 and then normal food for us, that it was actually much easier if we could all eat the same as far as possible.

So we all eat together every night, although sometimes DS1 will have dairy free leftovers and the rest of us will have omelette or something like that. DS2 drinks cow's milk and we will put cheese on his bolognese sauce, and sometimes the rest of us will have cheese sandwiches while DS1 has salami. DS2 also eats normal yoghurt and DS1 has soy.

So no, I don't think there's anything wrong wwith being largely egg and dairy free, although I would still give DC2 cow's milk, yoghurt, anything that's separate to the meal really, and then eggs sometimes.

I agree with Weta, ds is allergic to dairy/egg/nuts/soya/sesame but luckily dd seems fine with everything. We mostly eat the same things but I give dd yogurts after a meal and will add cheese to her pasta etc. I always make sure biscuits/cakes and treats are the same for both though otherwise it does cause problems.

When they get to a certain age they have to learn that there are things they can't have. Your first instinct is to protect them from that knowledge but ds has been very accepting and doesn't often get upset about it any more (he's 3).

The only thing I can't manage is having cups of milk hanging around for dd. DS probably would never touch them but you have to have somewhere you can relax and not be on your guard!

Thanks everyone - that's sort of what I thought really, mostly the same for everyone with a few bits here and there that aren't where I can control the fallout. DD1 is really good about not eating anything without asking me if its 'fine' first, but she reacts (although not anaphylactically) to even touching minute traces, so if DD2's face had traces of e.g. yoghurt on, DD1 would get hives from kissing her. Sigh. I suppose I'll just have to scrub DD2 down to within an inch of her life and then take it from there!

Bilbomum - that's my greatest fear really, the cups of milk hanging around. I'm still BF DD2, and trying to ignore the fact that at some point she'll have cups of formula or cows milk. However careful I am, there will be spillage. In fact, I'm wondering about buying in Nutramigen 2 for DD2 later on so she can have that - but I'm not sure I can inflict the grim taste on her!

PS - yes, thanks, very good point about them both having the same treats (when we get to that stage with DD2), will bear that in mind...

Good luck acccupoftea- for what it's worth I thought it was an insurmoutable problem when I started weaning dd but like many other things you get used to it and come up with your own strategies. I've taken the view that the sippy cup of milk issue is just too dangerous for ds. The HV couldn't really disagree with me so dd only drinks milk when I'm sitting at the table with them (in a glass with a straw so ds can see what she's drinking). I bf dd until 16 months and her weight gain has been fine without the extra milk (and she was 10 weeks prem so she had catching up to do!).

You'll manage fine and your dd1 will become even more sensible as she gets older. I haven't had the kissing problem - girls are obviously more affectionate than boys

Just a couple more points... I thought DS1 would be terribly upset that DS2 wasn't allergic and could have all this stuff, but he's not at all. He's just really pleased his brother is able to enjoy them (as long as he gets something to compensate). He's 4 years older though so I guess it's easier for him to understand.

He would react to touching it, just not anaphylactically - but in the end I think if he does have a mild skin reaction it's not the end of the world. Though I do scrub DS2 down carefully after every meal and make sure not to use the same cloth if DS1 needs his face wiped.

I agree with Bilbomum about the sippy cups - in our case it's ok as DS2 only drinks out of plastic cups and DS1 only out of glass, but with a smaller age gap I wouldn't take the risk of leaving one lying around. And one of our big accidents was on holiday when I put some of DS2's leftover milk in a glass in the fridge as we didn't have any extra plastic cups, then had a nap and DH thought the glass was for DS1 and gave it to him!

Ds1 is allergic to peanuts and I don't keep them in the house at all. We avoid nuts altogether for both boys, on the advice of our allergy clinic. What will happen when ds2 gets to 5 and is allowed to try nuts, I'm not sure (hoping ds1 has outgrown it by then).

At least nuts are not a main food group, so they are easy to avoid having around.

Dd and I often have peanut butter on toast in the morning. Ds is 8 now and so, sensible enough to keep away. Dd has been trained to go straight to the bathroomwithout touching anything and wash her hands as soon as she has finished.

Ds could ahve a reaction on a very small amount but not a huge reaction, iyswim.

I think it would be a lot harder with milk though.