If its any comfort at all - I REALLY feel for you. I know how horrible and demoralising it can be.
So many professionals simply do not understand eczema. GPs are used to treated mild cases that tend to go away on their own.
My GP said to me once 'you shouldnt let it get this bad' when I took my DS in for about the 10th time!
At one point we were stripping him off and creaming him 8 times a day. We have it down to twice a day now thank goodness.
Dont feel bad about telling your derm that you have stopped the epederm. Lots of children react to the creams. Most GPS give out E45 first and LOADS of kids are allergic to it.
Oilatum is another one that can work really well or cause a load of trouble. Its the nature of the condition. Our kids are sensitive to things that go on their skin.
The only advice I can give is be really organised. Write down what you do, what happens when you do it, what happens when you dont do it. Write down what the dr tells you, have a schedule of treatment and stick to it. That way its easier to tell what is working and what is not.
I am saying this because eczema can be really confusing. It flares up for apparently no reason,kids become sensitive to things almost overnight.
I NEVER take my DS to the GP for his skin - it would be pointless. If the HV ever mentioned his skin I would put an end to the conversation very quickly. I would invite her to liaise with the dermatologist if she had any advice for him re DS's care. That shut her up
Please dont feel bad, eczema is a bugger to treat. Its not your fault. Everyone has a 'cure' and are keen to tell you about it. I have also had people make comments like 'dont you think you should do something about his skin?' or 'I put lard on my daughters eczema and she never got it again'.
I have been in tears over my son's condition. I admit to taking the medical, medication approach. I know a lot of people swear by organic creams etc and I have no reason to disagree with that. I simply could not afford the amount of stuff that we would need to meet DS's treament needs.
I thought long and hard about the steroids too. It was something I really did not want to do with such a young child. My DD had been on steroids as part of her chemo so they had really awful conatations for me. I am glad I did though.
What I am trying to say in a rambly, ranty way is:
Eczema is a v.difficult condition
Eczema is poorly understood by the majority of GPs, HVs and the public
Treatment can be a long process of trial and error
Its NOT YOUR FAULT
Chances are you DS will grow out of it (I hate that phrase though!)
You will find the treatment regime that suits although you will probably have to change it as DS's condition changes.
Your dermatologist should understand all of the above.
Good luck.