to think I may of been discriminated against at work

[Gillyan]

Hello

I have had nothing but trouble with my pregnancy right from the off. I've had lots of bleeds from very early on. Also I have had numerous chest infections, ear infections, virus's etc. And I have sciatica and a curved spine ( all PG related ) I have had to have lots of time off for these problems as rest is the only thing to help and I can't have a lot of medication due to being PG ( I need a prescription decongestant to get rid of the fluid in my head, pain killers/anti inflams for back etc, only one typeof anti biotice works at getting rid of the ear infection but then it comes back as the fluid is still there...am totally deaf in one ear when it happens) ETC ETC sorry for lots of detail.

Anyhow I have tried to take holiday and lieu days when I have been ill and have repeatedly dragged myself into work when I have not felt well.

My boss is the sort who would never ever send you home unless you ask and she's also a total martyr , she lives and breathes her job and comes in when she is sick .

Over the weekend my DD became poorly and I couldn't hear again and it hurt when I peed and I agonised all weekend about having to call in sick AGAIN on Monday. I ended up going in and sending DD to nursery when I know I shouldn't of really as she wasn't well but I was so worried about having time off. I got into work and then just burst into tears and told my boss everything and said I just wanted to finish because I was stressed out and sick of letting everyone down and feeling like everyone hates me. She said no body hates you but yes you are letting everyone down and it is having a huge impact on the rest of the team.....at the time I was so upset and just agreed to finish the same day.

My DP went mad when I told him what she had said and having thought about it I'm a bit pissed off. I could of just got signed off work AGAIN and let them pay me but I was trying to do the right thing and not take the piss.

I work in the main Branch where the Building Society was founded and we have lots of staff and I am reallly good at my job ( sorry to brag ) I have just come 2nd across all branchs for my sales performance even though I am Part Time and have has lots of time off. My boss had never liked me and find's it hard to acknowlegde my sales etc. I have been there 4 n half years.

Sorry for the rant

Oops meant to put this in AIBU

Ooo you ought to put it in employment too as they can advise you if it's discrimination

Sounds horrible though

How many weeks pregnant are you now? Have you gone on maternity leave or handed in your notice?

Hiya

I'm 26 wks today, I have arranged it so I take all my hol left owing and then my mat leave kicks in in May.

So have you resigned? Surely you need to give notice?

Tell them asap you do not wish to quit, that you felt pressured into it.

You are not allowed to be treated badly for taking pg related sickness, you cannot be fired, you cannot be disciplined.

Really you need to put this in 'employment' so some-one with employment experience can come along and guide you through what you need to do now.

Where is employment? I'm not very good on here!

It's fare to say I felt like I had no other option but to go early as getting bad vibes off everyone etc

OK, just read that. Go and see your GP and get signed off sick. Do not use your leave entitlement if you had planned to use this when you return to work after your maternity leave.

You will be required to take your maternity leave 4 weeks before your edd, but any other time, get you gp to sign you off. It is not your fault you are unwell, and you are not letting anyone down, you are pg, and suffering badly because of it, you need to be off work, but not on leave, off sick.

Sorry, but what a cow to tell you that you are letting people down. How does she think that is going to make you feel. for you.

'employment' go into 'topics, and scroll down. there should be a section there somewhere.

Flowerybeanbag lives there. She should be able to offer you some specific advice. She is a love and knows her stuff.

I know silly moo and I could understand a bit of frostiness if I was just taking the mick but I have been genuinely upset about having time off.

This was kind of the last straw in a long list of complaints I have about my job so don't reckon I'll be going back actually or maybe transfer to a different area.

I think you need more support from your partner. If he had stayed at home with dd, I doubt your stress would have been nearly so bad - hurting when you pee and not being able to hear are not good but you could probably have soldiered on through that if you weren't stressed about dd as well.

If you both work it ought to be even stevens between you for taking time for dd, then when you are ill at least it is not on top of taking ALL the time necessary for dd as well as you.

Agree that your boss has been discriminatory btw - as you say it's all pregnancy related and unavoidable.

Make sure you make no hasty decisions. See your gp, get signed off and rest for the time you have before your baby arrives.

How does your annual leave work? April to April? Jan to Jan? If April to April, you will be able to keep your annual leave until you return to work, if you intend to return after 9 months, you continue to accrue your leave for Normal maternity leave (9months) so you can also then take some time off then, dont use it now unless you really have to.

I'm sorry but I don't think you have been discriminated against. I have loads of sympathy for you and she sounds like a cow, but you said you wanted to finish and she agreed with some charming comments.
If you have other issues / comments etc then now is the time, but

sorry meant to finish with I don't think this alone would count as discrimination / constructive dismissal

Sounds a bit like constructive dismissal to me. If she made you feel like you had no other option but to leave then it is definitely the case. Also you are entitled to reasonable time off to care for dependants (ie, your children)

In addition have you considered the possibility that the job might be making you sick? Especially dealing with her? The stress of dealing with someone like that I am sure would have an effect on one's immune system.

I hope I am wrong!
Yes, I thought about the stress - hopefully your health will imprve quickly just because this is one fewer thing to worry about

Actually I bet she has no-one in her life who she needs to care for or look after. It is so much easier to be career obsessed when you have no one else to think about.

OP has not resigned, but felt in a position where she had had to take her maternity leave early, and all her annual leave? Is that right?

If you are sick, and cannot work due to sickness, esp pg related, gp will sign you off. You should not take maternity leave early because you are letting your team down!

that's right I think
holidays to mkae up time before ML can start

I know for example when I left my job on maternity leave, I had issues which made my continuing in my role impossible (combination of pg related, personal related and work related). I was signed off sick by gp for last couple of months and kept all my AL entitlement, which i took before returning after maternity leave finished.

OK.

Go into work on your next day due and work. Tell boss the "verbal" conversation/agreement will not be happenning. Then go get signed off if needs be.

I am assuming here that you have not agreed anything in writing or formally booked leave yet.

Silly woman (her not you) she obviously needs some advice on how to manage her staff.

Thanks for the support guys.

stealthpolarbear Great name BTW - I know what you mean as I'm not sure it's actual discrimination myself.

I think she's just being a bitch.

Thanks activity

I have been signed off for a few wks over the last 10 weeks and I know if I had gone to the doc Monday morning I would of been signed off again. I think I have just been made to feel guilty.

I have already signed something, my boss e-mailed HR and then I just had to sign the printed off e-mail to confirm my new official maternity start date.

I don't think I'm actually going to do anything about her I justw anted to blow off some steam.

Although if all of us at work put our minds to it and backed each other up we could probably get her dismissed as she is known for being a bully and a host of other things!

She's definitely being a bitch! Is it worth calling HR and just explaining that you made a decision in the heat of the moment which you now regret?

can see both sides of this as it is difficult to manage when someone is constantly ill. You are also likely to be very sensitive about anything that is said to you at the moment because you're extra hormonal. You may have taken the comments more harshly than they were meant because you don't like your boss anyway.

However she shouldn't have said you were letting your team down and should have sent you home to think it over rather than getting you to sign something then and there.