Traumatised by what I have found out about hair dye allergy

[Ceriane]

When I was young in my teenage years and early twenties I used to occasionally experiment with hair dyes. For a while I regularly had it highlighted. Then in my 30's when I started to get a few greys I used Naturtint two or three times a year, didn't really need to as you could barely see the greys.

I never had a problem with it, and was oblivious to the dangers of hair dye allergy - just thought if you were okay with the patch test you were fine, and if you did notice any burning on scalp just wash it off.

However towards the end of my 30's I saw a magazine article where people had had an allergic reaction to a hair dye, and the images looked horrific - people with swollen heads, faces, eyes closed over and life threatening anaphylaxis. I heard people have died from it. However, I had no reason to think I would have a hair dye allergy.

In the lockdown I didn't dye my hair, I was still only 37 and didn't really need to, when we came out of lockdown I was 39, so I did dye it and was fine, and then after about 3 months you could see the greys.

The year I was going to turn 40 I booked in to have highlights, thinking I need to start thinking about how I'm going to cover the greys now I'm a bit older. I had the patch test and it was fine, but then I chickened out of the appointment after I remembered what I heard about hair dye allergy. I am an anxious person. I instead used Naturtint at home as I had never had a problem with it. I had no reason to think I would have a problem with the highlights either.

Then July last year, after I had Covid-19, I used Naturtint again, and this time I had a slight burning sensation on my scalp later that day. Nothing really bad, but it made me think, could I have developed an allergy. So obviously I was now scared to dye my hair. I thought it seemed really ironic to have developed an allergy after being worried about developing an allergy when I didn't have one before.

I then didn't dye my hair for a full year. I did try a patch test for a henna based dye, it seemed fine but I decided to give my hair a rest after dying it unnecessarily so much when I was younger.

A side issue is that over the last seven months I have been having therapy because I developed an obsessive phobia about allergic reactions in general - which has affected everything from worrying about food, drinks, products, going out and I have had really bad anxiety in general over this last year. I developed an irrational fear of potentially being allergic to anything and everything basically.

2 weeks ago I decided to try a patch test for just a normal hair dye. After 24 hours I felt unwell, the next day I had a burning sensation in my arm where I had applied the patch test, and this was followed by intense nerve pain that has spread down my arm, that I still have days later. I thought there would just be a bit of itching or redness if I was allergic I didn't expect pain. I have also been feeling sick for the last two weeks. I have spoken to an ANP at my GP surgery and they have said obviously don't use the dye and to monitor it for two weeks, and come back if it hasn't gone. Obviously I won't use the dye.

When googling to see if anyone else has ever had this problem and I was horrified by what I read. That someone had a reaction that was like 3rd degree burns and that if you have a bad reaction to a hair dye, the pain can be so severe that you have to be put into a medically induced coma as it is so bad. My fear before was of anaphylaxis, now that seems like nothing - my fear is now of pain. I keep shuddering to think what would have happened if I had have actually used the hair dye, and I know this sounds ridiculous because obviously I didn't use it, I feel like I am really mentally distressed by what I have read, I keep on having images of peoples faces swollen up from hair dye allergy and intrusive thoughts about how bad it would have been if I'd have used it, I can't stop thinking about it and it's making me ill. I know I sound absolutely nuts. I was doing so well on my fear of allergies in general, but this has thrown me and really shook me up, the fact that I do have an allergy - to hair dye - and that if I had have used it I would likely have died a really painful and horrible death and what I know about hair dye allergy is 10000x worse than what I thought I knew, so it's really set me back.

I have heard other people say that they have experienced a burning sensation after dying their hair and I feel like I need to warn them. People are putting themselves at risk. To be honest, I think they should ban these chemicals as they are more dangerous than I could ever possibly imagine.

I decided that it is way to much of a risk to use anything on my hair, so I will have to embrace the greys, I felt okay about this until yesterday, when I was at a wedding, I was so self conscious of my greys, and everyone else there was not a grey hair in sight, even in women in their 40's, 50's and 60's, so they are clearly all using hair dye - it scares me that people could have an allergic reaction at any time, and they are walking around oblivious to the danger. I felt like I looked rubbish compared to everyone else, I didn't think I was vain, but this has really got me down. It's also a real sense of loss as it's made me realise, I'm not a young girl anymore and can't even make myself look like one. I'd always looked young for my age, and always felt fairly attractive and now I have grey hairs that I can't do anything about and this is only going to get worse as I get older. I know a solution would be to find a hair dye that doesn't have PPD and other chemicals and that I am not allergic to, but I just feel that I can't take the risk of using anything on my hair.

Also my family think I'm being silly, and keep saying things like "for goodness sake, just dye your hair, hair dye won't hurt you, you've got to at some point". They don't believe me that I had a reaction to the patch test. Obviously I'm not going to use it and have thrown it out, but it's making me feel really unsafe and alone in what I'm going through.

I'm so sorry that I have written practically an essay on hair dye, but I really do feel distressed by this whole issue, it has shook me to my core, and I know I sound like I really am neurotic but this has really bothered me. I'm acting normal around people, but I feel traumatised by something that didn't happen but nearly happened if that makes any sense. I've put this in allergies but I think it's also mental health as I'm suffering extreme anxiety.

You sound very distressed and I think you are right that this is a mental health issue more than an allergy issue. I have never dyed my hair - I have allergies and had eczema as a child, so always felt that it would probably be a bad idea. I am not bothered about having grey hair, we all age and it’s only a societal expectation that women are meant to remain looking younger than their age. Maybe in your therapy you could look at accepting the natural physical consequences of getting older, so that it is one less thing which you need to worry about, as you could just be happy to not dye your hair.
With regard allergic reactions - I’ve been allergic to various things, some discovered as an adult and, thankfully, never had an anaphylactic reaction. The worst I’ve had is severe rashes which took a while to get rid of. There is a huge range of allergies and reactions. You need to embrace therapy to manage your feelings and reactions to worries.

Maybe in your therapy you could look at accepting the natural physical consequences of getting older, so that it is one less thing which you need to worry about, as you could just be happy to not dye your hair.

I think this is the key.

I'm 42 and thanks to genetic luck (both parents went grey very late in life) I have no grey hairs yet. However, when I do get them I plan to just let my hair go grey naturally.

Dye obviously scares you, and if you are allergic could be very harmful to your health. So don't do it. Don't put yourself through that trauma.

It’s an easy allergen to avoid.

I have a friend that nearly died from it so it should be taken serious but as I said, easy to avoid so don’t worry about it.

It's interesting that you assume that all women in their 40s dye their hair though. It hadn't occurred to me that people might assume my hair is dyed.

I've had a very similar experience!! And it is absolutely worrying. Because it's so unpredictable....hair dye caused my neck and ears to burn! (Months later and is still healing!)

I've now ditched the hair dyes and now only do shampoo colour and gloss! They're temporary but very good.

My natural hair is brown. So I'm left with grown out brassy highlights which I can't cover or get refreshed.

I look and feel MUCH better when I have highlights so I'm gutted tbh. Still, better ro be alive and well!

I'm in my 40s, going grey naturally and loads of other women assume my hair is dyed. It's prob 50:50 grey now so you'd think it would be obvious but apparently not.

There are more of us about that you probably realise.

my family think I'm being silly, and keep saying things like "for goodness sake, just dye your hair, hair dye won't hurt you, you've got to at some point".

You know your family are being idiots, right? Nobody has to dye their hair. It's 100% optional, and a large number of women don't.

Counselling may help with the anxiety and help you to accept the aging process.

Thank you. I am going to have to embrace the greys. I come from a family where everyone makes the best of themselves looks wise, and I think they think this fear is just like my irrational fear of food allergies. It isn’t. They see me not dying my hair as not getting better from my anxiety. It really angers me as clearly they haven’t got their priorities right. I think I am going to be doing a bit of grieving though that I am going to go grey and say goodbye to looking young. It really does feel like losing my identity almost but clearly more important to be safe. My family keep saying stuff like “and while you’re at it, go and get that balayage done” they think they are helping me, they just don’t seem to get the dangers. Obviously I am not going to.

Well firstly, you don’t have to dye your hair if for whatever reason you prefer not too. So this is not something you have to overcome.

BUT this does sound like you are probably experiencing symptoms of health anxiety, so I’d encourage you to discuss it with whoever is looking after you re: your mental health.

Hair dye contains serious chemicals, and some people are (or become) very allergic to those chemicals, and should avoid them.

Your emotional response is a bit extreme, and that may be why your family are dismissive, but they are wrong to encourage you to use dye if you have any concerns about your patch test.

Thank you. I just can’t believe how many people just dye their hair all the time (like I used to) and are oblivious to the dangers.

I too developed an allergy to all hair dye post Covid - and I had been dyeing my hair for over 50 years. I have totally embraced my natural colour and my hair has never been in such fabulous condition - it is shiny and healthy. I get a trim every six weeks - saving £100s in maintenance. I wish I had stopped colouring my hair years ago. Too much vanity isn’t good for you!

Thank you.

I just can’t believe how many people just dye their hair all the time (like I used to) and are oblivious to the dangers

You have severe health anxiety. If you choose to accept this, fine, but don’t push it onto others, not cool at all.

Making the best of how you look doesn't have to involve dye, or any other kind of intervention. There are plenty of healthy things that will help you look younger for longer.

People who are slim, have good posture, and healthy skin almost always look younger than their years, and those things can be achieved in healthy ways - diet, exercise, yoga etc.

Maybe focusing on healthy ways of caring for your appearance and your body will help?

Oh I really feel for you. My mum is the same re allergies and was going to a natural hair dye place before the pandemic but since lockdown has just embraced the white, but she's a 70something Granny. I've been grey since my late 20s and more so since my pregnancy and I dying my hair very often- if I develop an allergy I will be distraught and it will knock my confidence. There's a difference between choosing to embrace the greys as a fashion/ political statement but being forced to do so it horrid for you.

If natural organic dye is not an option for you
I would -

• try to find some style icons online from other young ish people with grey hair for inspiration and to remember you can look young and cool with grey hair
• You might get your colours done to know what make up (if you wear it) and clothes will suit your new hair colour.

• consider looking at wigs or hair pieces for special occasions like weddings

• investigate things like hair mascara (if you just have a few greys) that won't touch your skin just your hair.

I'm almost 50 and don't need to dye my hair either

It's not helpful to reply to the O P about harmful reactions to hair dye

OP you need help
none of your our post was normal sane thinking , show it to your therapist and keep engaging with help

I do have really severe health anxiety, and I know that is my problem but this has really triggered me as I now know there is something 1000x worse than anything I ever imagined. And the way my family and friends have been “encouraging” me to dye my hair thinking they are helping me get past my anxiety has really shaken me up. I know my emotional reaction is very extreme and I know I probably should speak to a therapist about it. If other people choose to dye their hair that is completely up to them. It’s just drastically changed how I see it. I just feel traumatised to think something as bad as that can exist.

@TarantinoIsAMisogynist and @Unexpectedlysinglemum your advice is amazing.

I developed scalp psoriasis after using nice n easy in my 20s, I didn’t realise what it was….just thought dandruff - I think that’s more in line with the standard reaction OP

@pimplebum I know my emotional reaction is extreme and I don’t think I am particularly sane at the moment I have been going through extreme anxiety for quite some time.

I think it is really stressful when there is a legitimate concern and people are dismissive, light how high risk people felt when people said COVID is just a cold and weren't being careful. Just be very boundaries with family and friends and say 'my hairs not up for discussion' or 'I've made a decision thanks' or 'let's talk about your hair now what hair cut do you want next'

You are of course anxious but not without cause - I really feel for you I can't stand my grey roots at all

You are the one with the issue, dye or don't I choose not too but people are perfectly able too

Also I think it is helpful to warn/ reminds people that there are risks of this as a lot of people are unaware xx

I really feel for you, anxiety is crippling. My children do have food allergies and I am really battling with anxiety about them at the moment.

I've never dyed my hair though, and I'm in my 40s. So it's definitely not a thing you "have" to do. (Admittedly I am lucky I don't have any greys yet, but generally I think grey hair looks lovely on most people)