Another bloody MIL why can't she feed ds properly or at least not lie to me rant

[twentypence]

I suggested the MIL that we share an Xmas ham - because I need gluten free and ds needs MSG and colouring free and the only ones that tick that box are massive and expensive.

She buys it and asks me for $20 - I thought that was cheap for half a ham. Ham is already unpacked and packaging thrown in wheelie bin when i arrive on Xmas day.

Ds (Who is 4) eats 2 slices for lunch. He is impossible for the next 2 days, cries all the time, cannot control his bladder day or night, itchy, shouty, hysterical. I ban the ham.

Today I went to the supermarket she bought the ham from and checked the ingredients. It contains E124, fortunately not the one that would have landed ds in hospital, but still bad enough to put a child through being incontinent and feeling crap.

She said she had read the ingredients, but she couldn't read the writing on a Christmas cracker joke which was twice the size. So now I have half a pig in the fridge and a washing line full of clothes. Nice one Gran.

Oh, how utterly annoying. Why would she be so stupid? She should have let you buy it if she was unsure.

I assume this was not the first time something like this happened?

Her and my Mum are pretty much the same - they start out okay and then go off on a tangent when they see a special offer.

I asked mum to get a specific pair of pants for ds for school (we are in NZ and you can't get 100% cotton school pants which is ridiculous), because she would have to order online at this time of year (we start school in Feb just to further bugger things up) she goes into one. Presumably ds can go to school in just his underpants so she doesn't have to pay postage (incidentally with my money!)

I've had similar probs with MIL (not as bad - she buys something that she thinks its OK then asks me to check - it nearly always contains traces of nuts).

Took me a while to realise why this kept happening - she's not a stupid or careless woman and really doesn't want to risk ds' health. But recently it became obvious that she can't read the v. small print on packaging, esp if in or on an awkward colour like yellow. So a lot of stuff gets by her.

Look out for wallet magnifiers e.g Wallet Magnifier 2-Pack: Clear & Lapis on amazon and give them to your relatives.

Mine just thinks after 3 dcs, 7gc and 2ggcs she knows best and I'm being faddy/allowing ds to be faddy

Oh, I like the sound of the wallet magnifier for MIL. I'm sick of hearing that she didn't have her glasses with her.

Apparently FIL read out the ingredients ("and I didn't recognise anything he couldn't have dear") What the words colouring (124) weren't a giveaway then!

My DD1 was dairy intolerant and allergic to eggs to MIL used to feed her chocolate buttons when I wasn't there.

Cue exzema all over her body and red marks on her face where the chocolate had touched her.

When I had a go was told I was "depriving" her as all children should be allowed a little bit of chocolate (yeah thats fine if she wanted to deal with her when she's screaming through the night cos she's so itchy )

TBH I'm surprised that having such a sensitive child you are still trusting the persons without reading the packet yourself. But then I have a MIL who happily gave DS milk to "show us" he was not allergic! Even with immediate asthma attack she kept saying that it was not that bad...

How old is your child MeMySonandI?

He is 4, as yours.

With so many names for the different allergens it took me such long time to get it right that I really don't expect people to get it right when they are not dealing with his diet in a daily basis.

Obviously I apreciate the extra effort some people do but... at the end of the day, I can't be sure they had remembered/recognised/identified all of them, so although embarrasing (VERY!!!) I never give him anything unless the packaging is available for us to check.

You should have bought the ham yourself. I have 2 who are gluten free/msg/aspartame free etc. My Mum is great, she is careful, but she finds the msg etc stuff hard to get right (gluten much easier) . DS1 has been on the diet for 6 years now, ds2 and ds3 at various times (ds3 still is) but she still needs to check with me. Really, I agree with MeMySonAndI you have to buy it yourself.

You see I wouldn't know to avoid E124 (what is it?) and my kids are supposedly MSG free!

It is Ponceau R. (Have just checked, I was avoiding as part of the "Dirty Dozen" but I always thought it was tartrazine!)

See??? you can not even trust those in the same boat as you!