sooooo fed up

[Gwu]

This is a pointless post. I just don't feel I can cope any more. Everything was going fine till DD started suffering and now I'm just really f**ked off with life, with being a mum.

DS, 4 years old, has allergies. He can't touch anything with dairy or egg in it otherwise rashes and asthma. He has eczema. His morning eczema/asthma/allergy routine takes ages and he's the slowest eater anyone has ever seen (weight is below the shaded part on scale).

Now DD, 4 months has allergies and I feel like I can't cope. She had an anaphylatic reaction to her immunisations (the one at 2 months old, hasn't had any more since), she has eczema covering most of her body, I need to wean her off the breast (I'm on a dairy, egg and wheat free diet but it hasn't helped her) and onto Neocate but doing very badly with the weaning. Doctor gave me 60g of hydrocorisone and told me to use that on her in a week! Chickened out, only used a bit.

As I said, pointless post, just feel like moaning. Everywhere I go, kids are normal. Why aren't mine? Why can't I have the same old worries as other mums? Why can't I be busy with playdates instead of hospital appointments? Why can't I dress my children in short sleeves instead of horrible looking eczema tops? Why does no one understand?

Oh Gwu, don't have any advice but so sorry you are feeling like this .

Not sure about hydrocortisone on a 4mth old, but GP has told me it would do more damage to ds's skin by not using steroid cream.

DS who is nearly 11 has many allergies including nut. He is away on a school trip this week, so you can imagine how I am feeling!

Thanks so much for your messages.

Pimmpom, your post is actually inspirational to know that DS can go on a school trip and you're, although worrying like anything, can let him go on it.

Kerrymum, please tell me what did you end up eating when you were breastfeeding your ds? Did you get the evening primrose oil from the dermatologist or over the counter, if the latter, which one? We're seeing derm tomorrow. I have a feeling that, like your ds, neocate isn't the answer to everything. I think with my dd, she has allergies to other stuff not just my breastmilk. I can't eliminate pollen and pollution which I think are contributory factors. DS is on a very restricted diet too but often comes back with hives after playing at a friends or playground which means other things, not diet, are wreaking havoc on his eczema and asthma.

DS has had a RAST test. About 30 substances tested, all positive. Milk, egg and grass pollen were off the scale positive. The least positive thing was lobster! Nearly fell off my chair laughing when the doc showed the results.

It is reassuring to know that there are others out there too albeit in cyberspace! It's just that I never meet any other kids except healthy ones and mums that moan about how hard it is to be a mum and their kids are normal. DS did manage to get a bone infection and spent 4 weeks in hospital last year and we did see kids with cancer. I do sometimes think I'm losing my perspective. I'm definitely going mad.

Oh Gwu - I have no experience of allergies. Ds2 has a wheat intolerance and somteimes I moan about that which is very, very, very minor compared to what you have to put up with. I panic when ds1's friend with allergies comes round - epipen etc...

You sound like you're doing a great job and I don't blame you for moaning. Vent on us!

Gwu my ds 2.5 has anaphylatic allergies to fish, nuts and egg he also has severe asthma and eczema. He reacts sometimes to just being outside in the sun

I do sometimes look around and think why can't ds be 'normal' but then he gives me one of his cheeky looks and it makes me feel better.

Ds was on nutremigen until he was 18 months it took a while to wean him on to it but after that he was fine, he can now tolerate dairy in small amounts.

Gwu ask tomorrow about probiotics and see if they can prescribe some suitable for your dd. It may help. Second children often have fewer problems than the first - mine has outgrown his eczema and has no serious allergies. Your daughter still has time to outgrow these problems. It's even possible your son may do so - one child I knew was being regularly wet wrapped at 4 and by the time she was 8 her skin was almost normal.

My eldest is anaphylactic to nut and possibly other things and has often been away on holiday. We haven't yet faced up to a trip abroad without us but I'm going to have to cope with that sometime. When the other mums are worrying if little son will miss them you'll be wondering if your child will come back alive or will be able to eat any of the food. It doesn't really get easier so much as your nerve endings wear out

We all have days when coming and having a rant here is necessary because other people you know just don't get it. Being a mum is hard and sometimes we all need some TLC!

When my eldest was newly diagnosed I met some people from the anaphylactic campaign. Although they were very helpful in a lot of ways probably the most useful part was just seeing their nearly adult children - they had survived and mine would too .

Gwu - hope the meeting with dermatologist goes well today

Thanks a lot for all your kind messages. It's so reassuring to know that you guys have been or are going through it AND have come out the other end surviving.

Just when I was about to hand in my notice as mum, I ended up having quite an ok day and ds even slept through last night! He woke with just some superficial scratch marks and came back from the nursery wheezing only a little! What a treat.

DS is going to get an epipen for his milk allergy. No one realised how bad his milk allergy is until he swallowed a mouthful of tea recently and ended up vomiting, hives and facial swelling. We gave him 12.5ml of piriton that time which is actually a real no no. Whoops.

Saw the dermatologist today for dd and she needs hydrocortisone from neck down, all over. They'll see her again on Tuesday. I asked about the evening primrose oil. Dermatologist was actually part of the team that did the study on evening primrose oil 9 years ago and sadly, there was no link to evening primrose oil and eczema. Anyway, I have some in the fridge and will take it - at worst, I might end up with nice skin and a juicy bonus if dd does too. I forgot to ask about the probiotics but will ask on Tues. We did try Bioforce probiotics on ds with no change. Honestly, we've tried so many things - the weirdist thing has to be making honeysuckle tea and bathing ds in that. Anyone else tried anything weird?

recommended doses of antihistamine are for the less allergic child. Our allergy consultant didn't object to us giving 10ml in an emergency, so you weren't so terrible Essential fatty acids (which are in evening primrose oil and in fish oil) are said to increase the stickness of good bacteria so perhaps the two together would work better.

Kerrymum, what brand of evening primrose oil are you using now? I'm currently using Efamol's, taking 32 drops for dd so she gets it through my milk. For ds, he takes Eskimo fish oil but it doesn't make any difference to his skin, we're hoping it might raise his IQ a bit.

Tatt, I agree with you too. I was pretty sure that when we took ds to a and e with a swollen face (no one knows how he got it) they gave him a fair bit of piriton that, at that time, shocked me. Then, when ds was in hospital with the bone infection, they gave a massive amount of Calpol, far more than what's on the label.