Daughter with CMP allergy

[SheilaBirling]

My daughter is almost 9. She was diagnosed with an allergy to CMP at 6 months.

Regularly tested over the years.

We are used to it. It is easy as a small family to deal with it. However, over the years I have been becoming increasingly frustrated at how other institutions deal with it - eg school and restaurants.

Two incidents have frustrated me greatly recently. Firstly, a large coffee chain cafe at a big motor way services. Nothing dairy free to eat - the barista offered me some gluten-free food laughingly. I complained but had no response.

The second was at a small, new cafe in our small town. I asked the waitress to check the bread to be told., "ALL bread contains milk". I explained that it often didn't. She then suggested that perhaps I was getting milk confused with whey powder. No - if I had been giving my daughter whey powder for years she would be very ill indeed.

We established the shop bought bread did not contain milk but "may" contain milk. I have always been advised by the doctors that if it says may contain milk then my daughter can have it but if it "contains" milk then she cannot.

This makes sense to me of course but I don't expect to give a long explanation to everyone. The person behind the counter was suprised that I wanted the toast for my daughter.

I e mailed the cafe and expressed my disappointment in how they had spoken to me, particularly in being confused about milk products/why powder. They replied saying they were "sorry that their wish to be thorough" had offended me. They also reiterated that they were surprised that I had ordered the toast etc etc.

I explained that I was not offended by their wish to be thorough (I also pointed out that the phrase sounded passive aggressive to me) but by the fact that they had questioned my understanding of my daughter's allergy.

Now I have had a full apology and an offer to go in again for something dairy free with my daughter - on the house.

I have never complained like this before and am passive by nature. I think it is years of pent up frustration and disappointment.

Can anyone empathise?

Thank you

My 10yo DD is allergic to milk (requires an epipen with her) so I understand what it's like........asking in a restaurant for an allergen menu to be given a gluten free menu, asking if a food contains milk to be told 'this is gluten free'.

I have had no end of problems with the new caterers at school last year trying to sort out an appropriate menu and here I am just a week away from her going back and I've still not seen the new dairy free version.

I intended to complain to the caterers but life got in the way. I've yet to complain anywhere else though, I think I just moan and groan and get thoroughly fed up but don't get any further than that!

Dd is going to a PGL centre just outside of Paris with the school in a few weeks time. I did think long and hard about letting her go but for a whole host of reasons dont want her to miss out. But now I'm struggling to get the menu sorted again. Despite being told they've dealt with allergies before and they can cater to her needs I think the person I'm emailing has forgotten about the allergy as in her last message she said DD could help herself to croissants, pain au chocolat and yoghurt for breakfast and cheese for lunch!

Things just feel so much harder when you're dealing with an allergy!

So you have my sympathies

@ShielaBirling did you know that you can report the cafe via the Food Standards Agency? I had such an awful experience at a restaurant earlier in the year, when I posted on MN about it I was almost ordered to report them. I'm did it and I'm glad I did. I'm non-ige, Lord knows what would have happened if I'd been ige.