Ds is becoming more aware of his allergies and gets really upset.

[alibobins]

Ds is 2 and goes to a nursery as i work and he's becoming more aware if he's got a different dinner and gets really upset and he's not eating.

I've tried to expain in simple terms that it will make him sick but he's a little too young to understand.

If anyone has got any tips how to handle this i will be very grateful.

TIA

I don't really have any advice but can sympathise as my ds2 is 2.9 and notices his dinner is different too. My ds doesn't go to nursery or any other child care, so I can make his dinner look pretty similar to the rest of ours most of the time. If not, I jsut keep telling hi the same, this food will make your poorly, not that he really understands and yes we have tantrums, but he is having less of them, so I think he is getting used to being told this now. It doesn't make it any less heartbreaking when he wants to have icecream because all his cousins or friends are having some though

I know and he's just started to realise what cake and chocolate are and that he can't have them He used to be easily distracted with a bananna but thats not the case anymore.

has he ever had one of the foods he's allergic to - or at least, recently so he'd remember the reaction?

the only reason I ask is that we never got this from dd but I think that's because she once had a bad reaction that she remembered and thus NEVER wanted to go near the food she was allergic to because it made her feel so ill.

I don't know what to suggest either other than what you are doing already.

he's a bit young to remember his last anaphlyatic reaction was in november

Are there other children at nursery with food allergies or special dietary requirements? When my DS was in day-care there were quite a few children having special menus and the carers turned it into a fun thing - the "dairy-free" bunch, the "nut-free" bunch, etc. Also helped DS to learn and be vocal about what he is and isn't allowed to have - and now he thinks that its just normal and everybody has something that they're not allowed to eat.

I think it will get easier as his language improve and he may understand the reasons behing the restrictions (and then at some point he may become challenging again until he starts to identify how certain foods affect him).

I try to send a special treat to school/nursery when there is something special going on so he can participate too even if he is not eating the same thing. I.E. if all the other children are getting an ice cream I allow him to have some crisps. I keep some things he likes at the car in case he is given a sweet he can't have, in those cases he comes and chose something from the box in exchange for what he has got.

Would that help a bit?

Oh and it has made a huge difference for him to know he is not the only allergic child, that other children react to things he can have while he does to things other children don't.

dd is 2 and the explanation of 'that has wheat sweetie and wheat makes you sick' seems to get through to her. she doesn't get overly upset yet but i'm sure it'll happen sooner or later

one question though, why can he not have cakes or biscuits? there are plently of glutan free/milk free/ egg free alternatives in the health shops or you could make your own with g-f flour.

Alibobins, there is a glutten free Chocolate Cake from Dietary Specials which is not bad at all. I use orgran egg replacer and water to do it instead of the egg and milk and still is quite good. DS loves it.

What is he allergic to? If you can find him similar substitutes - and tell them they are his "special" foods (ie no one else is allowed them!) he might not mind so much. My DS can't have dairy so I buy him dairy-free chocolate and dairy-free ice-cream and he knows this is just for him. Same with yoghurts and stuff. He's 3 1/2 and seems happy enough with this - as long as I offer him a suitable alternative he's ok. (whisper: i've even been known to allow him a fruit shoot when his sister is having a milk shake and he thinks this is a special treat! )

He's allergic too eggs, nuts, fish and has a diary intollerence and may be wheat but not sure about that one yet. I try to fing him alternatives but he doesn't seem to like them. I suppose it hard him being at nursery as he eats the same as everyone else at home. I just keep reinforcing that it makes him sick.

Maybe its got nothing to do with his allergies maybe is the terrible twos

Hi, marshmallows may be a good 'treat' food for you. I have a DD (now 6) with multiple allergies, egg, dairy, peanuts, treenuts. I think the only think you can do (and tell anyone else who minds him) to consistently tell him 'you can't have that as it will make you v. sick but you can have X instead'. I leave a lunch box at school with safe snacks and also leave fruit popsicles in their freezer in case some other child brings in ice cream for a b'day or something like that. She knows she can choose her treat. TBH she is fabulous at dealing with it and could tell adults from a pretty young age, is this safe for me, I'm allergic to ...

It will get easier with time. The early days are the worst.

Good luck!

We're not allowed to send our own food into the nursery but if you are I think that's a great idea. Even with the allergies you're describing alli he should still be ok with dairy-free chocolate. And let me tell you, a little piece of chocolate goes a long way towards making up for what they can't have!

Yesterday DS was at music class and as it was the end of term the teacher was giving all the kids a chocolate mini-egg. But she had thoughtfully brought along some dairy free biscuits just in case anyone wasn't allowed the choc. He was the only one who got a biscuit and he was so good. "Look mummy, I'm the only one who got a biscuit, it's a cat, no one else got one." (all said with a big smile as if he was the luckiest boy in the world!)

Thanks for all the advice

We are going shopping for a special lunch box to take to nursery with lots of different treats in it.( it will probably be a bob the builder one as ds is obsessed)