Christening Food not dairy free

[IonasMummy]

My daughter has CMPA and so everything she eats is dairy free. We're having her christened and my dads wife who is a great baker has offered to bake her christening cake as well as cup cakes, sausage rolls and pasties, I mentioned as much as possible would need to be dairy free.

I've just found she has started making the christening fruit cake and it wont be dairy free which I feel quite annoyed about. I asked if she'd be using vitalite but she said she didn't want to risk it not working and a load of fruit being wasted.

I now think she doesn't intend to make any of the food dairy free, so not only can't my daughter eat any of it but we'll also have to keep a really close eye on her at the party to make sure she doesn't pick up any of this food (plates left on chairs etc) as shes cruising / just starting to walk.

Feeling quite PO'd and want to tell her not to bother making anything else, am I being a bit dramatic? Just feel really disappointed that my dads wife isn't taking my little one into consideration. And as per usual she'll be restricted on what she can eat even at her own party.

Normally I'd suggest you supply food for your dd, but this is different because it's HER celebration. I would make it very clear that the cake needs to be dairy free, or you'll have to get it elsewhere. I'd also be just as clear about the rest of the party food. Are you paying for the food or is she? Not that it should make a difference.

Vitalite would work fine in fruitcake. My daughter has CMPA and I'm a cakemaker, it's worked fine in all the fruitcakes I've made!

To be honest, in your position, I'd be making the food myself. There's a lot of ignorance around allergies. Don't risk it.

Thanks for your replies, I have offered to pay for everything although she insisted that wasn't necessary. I just called her and explained that its really important that everything should be dairy free so she suggested I buy a cake online instead then.

I think you're advise that I should make things myself is probably best thanks ladies, your right people just don't understand what it like to have allergies. Looks like I need to learn to make fruit cake lol xx

Assuming she's OK with eggs, most rich fruit cake recipes should work with vitality, or whatever butter substitute you use. Although I usually use butter, I have used various margarines in the past and have found them acceptable as the spices mask the flavour a little. For a Madeira style cake, if I can't use butter, I add a little vanilla essence To Help create a buttery flavour.