Teacher gave dd milk chocolates

[Nummynums]

Hi,
Just wondering how/what you guys would feel if your child was given milk chocolates as a Xmas present by her class teacher despite knowing she is allergic to milk?

There's no excuse at all for the baking session and I'd be furious about that since it shows a complete lack of understanding of the issue. DS has CMPA and his private nursery always bake dairy-free on his days so he can join in. At the DDs state school whenever they do baking they send home a list of ingredients a week before and if your child is allergic to anything you have to let them know. The kitchens have photos up of kids with allergies so they know who to not give certain options to. This at a large primary (over 600 kids), it's really not hard to manage if there is the will to do it.

I'd be making a formal complaint about the Head's attitude to allergies TBH, if the teacher had made a simple mistake with the present they would have apologised, the lack of apology is symptomatic of a deeper problem that is made very clear with the description of the baking sessions.

Can you get the care plan changed to include "activities where potential for skin contact or ingestion of dairy products require alternative ingredients for DD" I'm sure someone can come up with better wording, but they need to be made fully aware weighing and measuring has the potential to cause a reaction.

The chocolates I would put down to the teacher just not thinking - I do mine (year7) a card with a candy cane a mini pack of Haribo and a chocolate coin. That way everyone should be covered. Not private.

The baking thing though is bizarre and needs dealing with.

I do wonder what the difference between private and state would be here?

I would be going back to the school regarding the cooking aspect. The teacher or ta were thoughtless regarding the chocolate and I guess at Easter you will probably need to take some eggs that your dd can have.

If you have a medical care plan for dd this really shouldn't happen. Do the school have a care plan in all areas? Dd had such a plan with her photograph in all the areas of the school that she used. The plan listed allergies and what to do etc. they are not foolproof but did help

They also made a point of using safe ingredients for all children so that the activity was inclusive.

This was a state school so perhaps there are different policies/rules.

I'm with you on this OP. It's nothing to do with bring ungrateful about a gift but a teacher potentially putting your child in danger.
It sounds like your DD is a mature little girl who recognised that she shouldn't eat her gift but many others would not have been so aware and there could have been nasty consequences.

pieceofpurplesky ds is in state and we have the baking problem.

Yes I just wondered if people had seen a difference.

I do think it is school dependant and not a public/private. Which in some respects makes it better in others worse. It is highly frustrating. And tbh I am dreading ds going to high school with the joke that is cooking lessons. If some people can't get their heads around the fact that chocolate contains milk what chance is there for understanding that milk products are in gravy/some stock cubes and a number of fruit type sweets.

Thanks for all the advice and for not making me feel like an ungrateful witch. I have asked the head for a meeting, don't know if she'll be more understanding then. If she isn't do I complain to the governors? Will it mean I have to pull dd out of school if I go this far with complaining? I want to complain so they take her allergies more seriously. I really hate that so much emphasis is put on food, treats etc. I think in the case where state schools are certified with healthy eating, they have to adhere to it whereas private schools just claim to be about healthy eating (this one anyway) but in reality they dish out chocolates and sweet treats every other day. Even though I supply dd's alternative treats, I'm not happy with the amount of treats being given out and birthdays etc. Sigh. I really feel bad that I've created such rift with the staff and head over this but if it was as simple as pulling her out of school I would simply vote with my feet and not bother about complaining (to make a change). i think the school know that we won't be leaving which is why they won't even meet us half way

Follow the school's own complaints procedure and if you're not happy then go to the Independent Schools Inspectorate

I would push the health and safety aspect and that some children are not aware enough to know what they can and can't have and trust the adults and it would look very bad if they were found to be the cause of a reactions. And as such you would like reassurances as to how they plan to avoid trigger he allergy particularly with regards to the baking.

ds had one teacher who managed school cooking well for him so it is possible. but atm you don't feel like you can trust them with dd's allergy so I'd focus on that rather than the present. The present issue is a symptom of the bigger problem of lack of understanding of the allergy and the cooking needs dealing with more importantly and may help to bring awareness of the other aspect. Also in future I would return the present with a polite appology in future, just say sorry it is dangerous for dd to come into contact with this so we can't except the kind thought. but there is no easy way sorry

Hmm. Wonder if the HSE would be interested in an educational establishment expecting a contact allergenic child to handle the substance they are allergic to?

Your ability or lack of to read things into posts is none of my concern, Bishop.

I really don't understand why you mentioned it to the head. The polite thing to do when receiving a gift is to say thankyou. You can always quietly change it for her and eat the chocolates yourself. No big deal.

The gift problem is separate to any on going food issues in school.

Try telling someone who GAF about someone wetting their pants over trying for 'MN Pithiest Poster 2016'

Nice derail attempt, though.

So this teacher took the time to buy presents for her whole class, out of her own money and then wrap them and as a result will end up with a complaint made against her to governors? No wonder so many teachers are leaving the profession due to lack of parental support!!

Ah ok MrsS.
So exclusion in schools is perfectly acceptable.

I bet you'd think so if it was your child unable to participate in something but stopped from doing so because of something they were born with too?

No, but it may have been a genuine mistake amidst Christmas chaos and the conclusion drawn by some is it is deliberate cruelty. Seems a little over reactive to me.

My child has it written all over his file that he is not to be given ANY food stuffs at school because of allergies unless I have supplied the foods.
MrsS It is not lack of parental support. In some of these case it is actually willful neglect/harm by the teachers. And the continuation to say that it is doing no harm may well lead to a teacher/school ending up being prosecuted/investigate for failing to follow the health and safety steps laid out in the child's care plan if the child actually dies/ends up hospitalised

*and yet he still gets given sweet type presents from his teacher.

MrsS do you agree with that in context of the OP's later posts where they are expecting this child who is allergic to dairy by contact to bake with and handle dairy products?

Or didn't you RTFT?

yes don't forget minimising the issue, not believing the intolerance is real...

Are you on waiting list for local school? Children leave all the time. We went onto local waiting lift and were offered a place after 18 months.

I know I actually had this conversation with someone.

Person: Oh its only a milk allergy. He'll only be a bit sicky. It's not like it will kill him.
Me what do you think anaphylatic means.
Person: Oh don't be silly you can't be anaphylatic to milk. That's only what happens with peanuts and stuff like that.
Me : WTAF.

I thi it is a bit crap. Heck my ds doesn't like chocolate, not allergic just really, honestly doesn't like it. His class teacher always makes sure he has an alternative. At Christmas when Santa came in to school he had haribo for ds (thus making a boy fluctuating on the edge of not believing think twice). On the teachers birthday she brought a chocolate cake to share with the class and when ds (happily, because he is old enough to know that he can't expect people to pander to his likes and dislikes) declined a slice she revealed that she had brought in a mini sponge cake just for him.

And that is just a dislike. It doesn't take much to think about it and if a child you care for has an allergy you should be thinking about it at all times that food is involved whether it is part of class time or not.

When I was doing teacher training I remember having to correct the lecturer who was telling the whole cohort of students that only nut allergies were dangerous .

Those who think it's not a big issue should remember that children have died at school and nursery because of teachers and nursery workers making well-meaning mistakes over allergies. It is NOT a trivial issue. But then, those of us with allergic children who live with it every day know that.