Don't know what to do next: multiple allergies

[cameorole]

Hello,
Have been off this board for a while as we were more or less doing ok but recently things have gone a bit pear-shaped. Can any of you help?

Long story but basically: DS is 5yo and has had IgE-mediated allergies all his life to milk, eggs, wheat, sesame, some pulses and some nuts. We've had unsuccessful challenges to milk and wheat but recently had success with chickpeas and mixed nuts (hazelnuts and pecans). My elation at this has gradually turned into a complete stress because I was told that he has to eat 2-3 portions of chickpeas and mixed nuts every week to maintain tolerance. I'm desperate for him not to become allergic to these things but it's almost impossible to get him to eat them! He has quite a few symptoms of ASD (currently being assessed) and one of them is fussiness about new textures and tastes (and things like different types of food not touching each other on the plate). I've tried hiding nuts in crumble and biscuits and chocolate but he now rejects all of them. It's enough of a struggle to give him a vaguely nutritious diet (and we rely almost exclusively on supplements for some things like calcium) and the added stress of the chickpeas/nuts is really getting me down.

If you were in this situation would you be ready to give up the chickpeas/nuts to focus more on the rest of the diet, at the risk of your DC becoming allergic to them?

Just wondering whether I'm stressing over nothing and what others on this board have done if in a similar situation...?

Does he really need chickpeas and nuts in his diet? I don't eat chickpeas despite not being allergic to them

If he has suspected ASD, I would read Gut and the Psychology Syndrome by Dr Natasha Cambell McBride and then consider whether he needs to have these things in his diet. I am not sure she has all of the answers for every child and the diet is complex but I do have a lot of time for the pro biotic, supplements, bone broth and fermented foods school of thought.

Will he eat hummus? You could buy it or make it yourself?

Ocado stock a hazelnut chocolate spread (dairy free but contains soy) called chocoreale). It's not great for having everyday, but may only on weekends as a treat?

Thank you so much for your replies.
demented No, you're right, he doesn't really need them but now that they're in his diet we don't want him to become allergic to them (on top of everything else) by taking them out. I suppose what we're weighing up is the risk of him becoming allergic to chickpeas and nuts (possibly for a lifetime) and restricting his diet even more in the long term, against the stress and time-wasting that goes on trying to keep them in the diet.
Thanks, anotherday, I'll look out for that book. Have been meaning to smuggle in some probiotics anyway (relatively easy to do, fortunately!)
chocomochi, I can't find any sesame-free hummus in the shops but could try to make some. It will be difficult, though, as he can't bear the taste of chickpeas so I usually hide it in biscuits. He's even detecting them in those now. Will definitely try the choc spread -- great idea!

How about chickpea brownies?
I haven't tried that particular recipe (and there are a ton on Pintrest), but have made a bean chocolate cake before, and it was really nice

Holland and Barratt and some of the larger Tescos do a brand of crisps called "Eat Real" hummus chips. Again, not as healthy as the chickpea itself but contains chickpea flour.

Does he eat pasta with tomato sauce? You could add a handful into the sauce and blend it together? We do that with lentils

DD2 was thrilled with the dairy free choco spread (she's on dairy avoidance as it gives her awful eczema) as she used to just watch DD1 have Nutella on her pancakes while she just had plain banana. You can tell the difference between the two, but not if you've never had Nutella before.

Have you tried oat milk (Oatly) before? DD2 has the one with added calcium. And you can also get orange juice (Tropicana) with added calcium.

I've made hummus with sunflower seed paste (whizzed up in a spice mill) instead of tahini.

gram flour is made from chickpeas it is used in a lot of indian food but you can buy it in packets - i also make sesame free hummus usually with plenty garlic though will try with sunflower seeds :) - and ocado now sell chickpea pasta - it is important to get them in his diet in some way - we did the peanut challenge a few years ago and go through huge jars of skippy and lots of bambas as after DS was exposed to peanut he also could also have become highly allergic if he didnt eat it regularly, though i was lucky that he loved peanut butter and bambas. would it be possible to grind up the nuts as powdery as possible and sprinkle it very lightly over things he does eat?

My DS outgrew chickpea, soya and lentil allergies. We weren't told to make sure he eats them to maintain tolerance. He probably does maage a few portions of soya every week, but not of the others.

Personally I would let up on it, it's obviously stressing you out.

you can buy bags of mini popadoms that have chickpeas in them. Also I have made soup that has uts i it before. You blend it and it goes really creamy. What about homemade pesto with ground nuts in it?

I would be guided by him. Offer but dont put on any pressure on him.
I would remove any stress that you can avoid.

In the grand scheme of life living without chickpeas and nuts isnt that hard. others on our list has proven harder to avoid.

It is very hard to reintroduce a food that your parents has said you cant eat and then say you can iyswim.
My son had huge problems with that and he has no ASD issues, but does have the normal high stress linked to having severe reactions to food. We are guided by him and what he likes to eat, and when he feels safer and more confident he has always tried new foods when it was HIS choice.

I know that the doctors advise one thing, but you need to be his parent and act for your child as you know him best.